THE AXIOM, PART 1
(On Earth, the Autobots watch EVE hover around)
Fastfix: What is she looking for?
Optimus Minor: I don't have one stinking clue. [How helpful]
Fastfix: WALL-E sure does seem to like her....
Optimus Minor: You think? He's always trying to get her attention!
(Enough of that scene. Meanwhile on the Axiom...)
Shockwave: Ugh. I know the plant's there! Probe One, befriend this WALL-E. [I thought you already told her to do that?] You are to reset your memory banks prior to my arrival. This discussion never happened. [Yeah! This already happened! Why is it-- argh I already hate this issue]
GO-4: What now?
Shockwave: The only way to make progress is let this universe run normally, as if I never interfered with the time stream... and so the Autobots must be destroyed! [Wouldn't you also need to kill yourself in order to accomplish that?]
(Back on Earth)
Fastfix: Go on, WALL-E. Talk to her!
Optimus Minor: You sure do have a soft spark.
Fastfix: Come on. It'll be nice. (A portal opens behind them) There's something bad behind us, I'll bet.
(The Autobots grab WALL-E and roll out to escape the portal, from which an army of Terrorcons emerge. Noisemaze and Starscream notice this... and do absolutely nothing)
(Back on the Axiom)
Shockwave: GO-4, send the probe ship to retrieve Probe One.
GO-4: But the plant--
Shockwave: I shall find the plant... indirectly.
(Back on Earth, the Autobots flee from the Terrorcons. WALL-E conveniently finds and grabs the plant along the way. They hitch a ride on the probe ship, which retrieves EVE, and they depart Earth. Because heaven forbid we have something legitimately interesting happen)
(The probe ship soon makes it back to the Axiom and GO-4 comes in to scan the probes)
GO-4: Ugh. I hope I get a raise soon. (All of the probes scan negative, save for EVE. He takes her away and unwittingly locks the Autobot inside the probe ship)
Optimus Minor: He... locked us inside.
WALL-E: EE-VAH!
GO-4: Who's in there?
WALL-E: WALL-E!
GO-4: Well, come on out!
Optimus Minor: You go on, WALL-E. I have a hunch something will go wrong if we come. [Oh, so you're deliberately avoiding doing anything remotely interesting! GREAT!]
(GO-4 brings EVE onto the bridge)
GO-4: Yo, bosses! Probe One's got the plant! Ta-da!
Captain: Okay, hand it over.
Shockwave: OH MY GOSH! IS THAT HARRY POTTER?! [i wish]
(While the Captain is distracted, Shockwave hides the plant in a drawer)
Captain: Where's the plant?!
Shockwave and GO-4: (point to EVE) Her fault.
Captain: *sigh* Send her to the repair station.
[Never thought I'd see the day Shockwave and GO-4 become the Two Stooges or something]
(Outside, the Terrorcons attack Starscream and Noisemaze)
Starscream: They're your pets!
Noisemaze: Shut up! (his comm beeps) Oh, that's my call. 'Sup, boss?
Boss: Cut the chatter, Noisemaze. Do you have the keys?
Noisemaze: Well... I had one of them.
Boss: What do you mean 'had?'
Noisemaze: Well, I, uh... sorta lost it.
Boss: You... lost it?!
Noisemaze: Uh, yeah.
Boss: YOU IDIOT! I TRUSTED YOU TO FIND THE FOUR KEYS AND YOU LOST ONE?!
(Poor Noisemaze. But enough of that scene! Let's go see what Captain Fatty is doing!)
Shockwave: (aside, to GO-4): Psst! Put the plant in an escape pod and send it into a nearby star.
GO-4: Okey dokey. [Oh, those two! LOL ROFL LMAO i hate this]
Captain: I hope we find the plant!
WALL-E: WALL-E!
Captain: AH! What... what is that thing?!
WALL-E: WALL-E!
Captain: Send it with EVE, it's freaking me out!
(Back on the probe ship, the Autobots continue to waste time. One of the other probes wakes up and tries to kill them but fails)
Heavypunch: What are ya doin' ya red-eyed Ee-vah? [How. Does. He. Know. Who. EVE. Is.]
Probe Two: My official designation is Probe Two, Cybertronian. I've been given orders to eliminate you.
Heavypunch: From who?
Probe Two: Shockwave.
Optimus Minor: Shockwave? Come on! I'm not gonna sit around here when Shockwave is out there! [Oh, now you're ready to progress the plot! Great!]
(Anyway, WALL-E gets out of the repair ward just like he does in the movie. GO-4 launchs the plant out in an escape pod, WALL-E gets blown up, you know how it goes)
To be continued [gee, I wonder what's gonna happen next]
FEATURED CHARACTERS
Autobots: Armorfist, Eveningstar, Fastfix, Heavypunch, Lightyear, Optimus Minor, Turborun, Wastelifter
Decepticons: GO-4, Shockwave
Others: Captain, EVE, Noisemaze, Noisemaze's Boss, Probe Two, Round Table, Starscream, Terrorcons, WALL-E
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