Death's Head: The World in Question - Entry 6

ENTRY 6: PARADOXES

  Hnn. This is off the record, yes? You folks will be getting my running monologue now as well as what I recall from the following conversations as I try to piece all of this together.

After I turned in my little homework, Mr. Paradox called me in to his office. Here at the TVA (or at least this particular iteration of it, more on that some other time), Paradox is in charge of tracking disturbances across timelines and universes, dispatching people like me to investigate and address them. Now, I understand that you guys on Earth-1218 had some sort of big blockbuster film released two years ago that depicted Paradox as a, well, not a heroic chap, yes? That’s not this Paradox. I don’t think so, anyway. That one and that particular version of the TVA is in its own corner. It’s canon corner, if you will, yes? This one is different. A bit more… fanatical, if you catch my drift, yes?

Anyways, lately Paradox has become rather, ah, invested with studying realities that center around the Transformers. Maybe it has to do with the events in Earth-9814. Couldn’t tell you. When I came into his office, he seemed rather eager to tell me all about what he had learned. Suppose no one else would listen, no?

He skipped all of the pleasantries and formalities, which I was perfectly fine with, and got straight to the point. “How much do you know about the history of your home reality?” he asked me. “About Earth-9284?”

I told him everything I knew was in those datalogs I just submitted to him. He seemed to have expected that answer as he gave a rather knowing smile.

“I thought as much. The history of that reality has certainly ebbed and flowed over the years, even after we cordoned off the events following the Heroes Reborn crisis in order to make room for elements from Earth-982 as part of our merging process. With the state things are in now after we’ve merged the divergent branches together to create a more streamlined universe, we have run into some… unforeseen complications.”

I asked him to elaborate and reminded him I didn’t much care for “vague-speak.” Thankfully, he obliged.

“One of the branches that we’re still having trouble with was created by the arrival of an interloper from Earth-9884. While seemingly Cybertronian in appearance, he is in fact a resident of Gobotron, the counterpart to Cybertron in that reality. Goes by the name of Bug Bite.”

My audio receptors perked up at that name. I recognized it as the guy who first hired me for the Expanse job. I thought about saying as much to Paradox but thought it best to let him continue, yes?

“Apparently, he and his fellow GoBots had left their home reality to fix a cataclysm that had threatened their world. Bug Bite was under the belief that the Megatron of Earth-9284 was somehow responsible and set about to kill him. His arrival in your home reality at the Battle of Klo created a divergent branch which we had tentatively called Earth-6277. Because some of the divergences were too drastic to reconcile, we had allowed it to remain in a pocket universe within Earth-9284… at least until it was destroyed by an incursion from Earth-4248.”

That number also rang a bell and this time I spoke up about it. Again, Paradox gave me that smug little smirk of his.

“We have since determined the Earth-4248 you were familiar with to be a separate reality altogether, one that is more of a mirror to Earth-9814 to Earth-9284.” (I will forgive you if you are being driven insane by all these numbers, all these 9s, 4s, and 8s. Drove me up the wall as well, yes?) “The one you’re thinking of has since been relabeled as Earth-4108.”

Figures. I kindly asked him to hurry along to the point, yes?

“The point,” Paradox said, “is that these temporal incursions and anomalies caused by both our efforts as well as factors outside of control are creating reverberations that are beginning to reach Earth-9814. In other words, history is about to repeat itself, even if might take on a different form. We have already seen such reverberations from Earth-19505, a reality which appears to be a heavy inspiration for 9814, no doubt caused by that reality’s Shockwave and his machinations.”

I thought back to what Paradox had told me just now, remembering Bug Bite and my encounters with Expanse and his ilk. I then looked at Paradox. “You believe this Earth-4108 might be on an incursion path with Earth-9814, yes?”

Paradox smiled, a bit too cheerful about a threat to a reality’s existence, yes? “Precisely. Even as we speak, certain events are unfolding that mirror those that led up to the incursion between Earths-6277 and 4248.”

“And you want me to stop it, yes?”

“No.” Paradox leaned back in his seat. “I want you to make sure it happens.”

I stared at him. He had to be joking, no?

“Believe me, I was actually about to have you do just that. But a recent missive from He Who Remains has directed us to ensure that this incursion unfold as it may. He believes it may be the only way to determine Earth-9814’s future, given that it has already had its fair share of time incidents as you well know.”

I knew he was alluding to that whole deal with that Sari lass and the Warren. Also, I believe the Shockwave of that reality is also a nuisance when it comes to time travel, yes?

I asked him what I was supposed to do then, to which Paradox said, “We will call you in should anyone from either of these two realities attempt to prevent what is to come. In the meantime, there is one matter we would like you to address.”

“And that would be…?”

“Another native of Earth-9814, a Decepticon named Spacewarp, has been transported to a divergent branch of Earth-1138, a reality which is… particularly interesting but does not need Cybertronian involvement. There also appears to be another Cybertronian from Earth-9814 whom was sent there by Shockwave’s Sigma Project. Both need to be either brought back home or eliminated. Whichever is easiest for you.”

Well, I know which one I prefer, but Paradox’s tone made it sound like the former was preferable to the latter. Figures, yes?

Anyway. That’s where we’re at now, yes? Will return to you with another report after I’ve addressed this situation.

Death's Head: The World In Question - Entry 5

ENTRY FIVE: THEN AND NOW

 Datalog 516-87-1965

Right. This is where things get complicated. As if things weren’t already, yes?

Thanks to the access TVA’s given me to you folks on Earth-1218 (still not quite sure why I’m supposed to be dictating this to you but whatever), I have an idea as to which of my, ah, endeavors have been exposed to you. Problem is, we’re getting into a spot where I can’t accurately pinpoint WHEN some of these exploits happened.

Okay, let’s start with this one. This one I can place before my encounters with the Transformers. It was back in Earth-616 but in the time after my encounters with the Fantastic Four and She-Hulk would have taken place. Confusing, yes? Even moreso that I apparently didn’t recognize it when I returned there.

I had a different face back then. Not quite as handsome, yes? Also wasn’t calling myself a peacekeeping agent yet; rather a personnel recovery specialist. I was hired by the rulers of Tinas VI to recover an artifact that had been stolen by a thief called Lothi. Would’ve killed him but I managed to make a deal with S.W.O.R.D., led by the thief’s half-sister. Old habits never die, eh? Before we parted ways after my adventures with them, one of them—a furry blue fellow—suggested the “peacekeeping agent” idea to me. What can I say? If it fits, it fits, yes?

After that I had some encounters with Iron Man—the original, not the edgy 2020 guy. Then I fought my future self—ol’ Mark II—in an event called the Revolutionary War. Got shrunk down from 30 feet to human scale. Guess I must’ve been enlarged back to 30 feet some time later. Haven’t gotten there yet, yes?

Had some encounter with the Young Avengers… couldn’t tell you when that was. Also a stint with the Imperial Guardians. Same deal there, yes? Hell, you might not have the full story at the time of this recording.

Hnn. At this point, there’s not much point in going any further. A lot of it has yet to be documented anyway. I’ll just skip to the more relevant stuff, yes?

Eventually, I got my original body back. To be honest with you, I’m still fuzzy on the details, but I have a hunch that the TVA might’ve been involved because not long after that, they approached me with another offer. I immediately declined them, but they told me that they had undergone a… restructuring. A reboot, if you will, yes? Had different people working there, even if they all had the same names. The contract they offered me was admittedly better than the previous one, so I accepted.

At first, it was business as usual. They sent me around the multiverse to investigate disturbances. One trip brought me to Earth-19505 where I ran into some familiar faces, including another Rodimus and an Autobot called Impactor whose arm I tore off in a scuffle. Reason for traveling there was due to multiple shenanigans caused by a certain Shockwave, which brought in blokes from Earth-7506 and gave them new identities. A Bumblebee from that reality was now called Centurion, for example. Apparently I was popular enough in this reality that Rodimus asked that someone hire me to take out someone called Getaway for him. Hnn. Wish I could’ve taken him up on that offer. For old time’s sake, yes?

Another one was… well, it was originally labeled Earth-21915 but I’ve heard talks of it being relabeled Earth-2384 for the year it’s centered around. Would make it easier to remember, yes? Anyway, that one started out as a branch of Earth-9196 but spiraled off into its own thing. During my investigation there, I ended up getting stuck with that reality’s version of Spratt. Typical, eh? At least he gave me a power boost as a Headmaster partner. Teamed up with some Autobot bounty hunter to deal with some space pirates. Quite the adventure, yes? After it was decided to leave the universe alone rather than purge it or merge it back with the one it branched off from, the TVA recalled me.

Sidenote, I did see in one reality—not one I visited but one I got a glimpse of—someone paid homage to me by naming his ship after me. Coincidence? Most likely. But I can’t help but feel a kindred spirit with the bot who owns it….

Anyway, my fun came to an end after an incident in Earth… well, I’m not sure I’m allowed to say which one it was. But, ah, my actions there might’ve been the cause of an incursion that erased it from existence. Needless to say, my handler Paradox wasn’t happy with that and stripped me of my dimension-hopping privileges. Got restricted to cleaning up messes in the timeline of my home reality. Eventually convinced them to give me another shot and was given a device that let me travel between two—and only two—realities. My home one, and one they called Earth-9814.

Earth-9814 was apparently important to them, yes? They had noticed some strange blips and needed someone to check it out. Was given strict orders to not do anything too rash. A bit like asking a bull not to demolish a china shop, yes? (See, I can pick up on Terran phrases. Damn you, Spratt.)

Of course, just my luck, soon as I get there, I found myself arrested for violating some intergalactic law or something. Got thrown into prison, yes? Was luckily able to get out with the help of two local Cybertronians. Continued my work while setting up shop on Elpasos; the most familiar location I could find, yes?

Things were mostly quiet for a time until a human by the name of Sari Sumdac took a trip through an anomaly in this universe called the Warren. Used it to alter the course of history, yes? Prevent her planet’s destruction. TVA took a blind eye to this because, well, they didn’t want any Earth being destroyed. Figures, eh? That was when a Cybertronian called Bug Bite came to me with a job: ten million credits for capturing a ‘bot with a quantum device called Expanse. Good money, yes? It worked out that this Expanse was in my home reality, hanging with the X-Men.

Now, this is where things get dicey. See, by this point my home reality had started to look different, though I hadn’t caught on yet due to my, ah, complicated history. There was no more Earth-616, or Earth-120185, or even an Earth-8410 (I don’t think anyway). Everything had been merged together by the TVA into a singular reality: Earth-9284. They had also brought in stuff from Earth-982, which overwrote any events from Earth-616 after a certain point… which happens to include some of my earlier adventures that I brought up earlier in this entry. Hnn. Might need to talk to Paradox about that, yes?

Because of this, there was no more sliding timescale. Except there sorta was, as stuff from the 1980s had been shifted to the 1990s, but after these events they were shifted back to the 1980s. Very confounding, isn’t it? Anyway, I located Expanse only for some Cybertronian knobber from Earth-4248 to steal my prize. I managed to track them both down, and also encountered that Sari lass I mentioned earlier. Expanse then activated his quantum drive thing to bring us all to Mojoworld, where that slobbering oaf Mojo (obvious name, yes?) pitted us all in an arena. After his show got shut down, I was able to get compensation for my efforts from the Autobots and I let them have Expanse. At the time, I didn’t think he was important, yes?

Well, Paradox proved me wrong when I got back to the TVA. After he explained the whole “merging universes” thing to me (not that I fully understood it all; still don’t), he sent me to go get Expanse again so the top brass at the TVA could study him. Managed to track him down as well as some other ‘bots that had been displaced across the multiverse, including in Earth-9284. That Sari girl was also there, for whatever reason. I dealt with the interlopers, sending them to Axiom Nexus in Earth-3138, only to then lose sight of Expanse. That was when Paradox recalled me, telling me that the situation had spiraled a bit out of control.

And, ah, that’s where I’m at now. Got paid for the job and then asked to record these datalogs while I continue my work for them. Not sure what’s gonna happen next. Might be worrying too much, yes?

Hnn. Really hope I’m not out of a job. Multiverse work pays well, yes?

Death's Head: The World in Question - Entry 4

ENTRY FOUR: WE CAN BE HEROES (JUST FOR ONE DAY)

 Datalog 516-87-1964

Ahh, Earth-616. Despite being a fair way down the list of realities, everything seems to revolve around you in some way or form. Or at least it used. Or it will.

Hnn. Time travel. Pain in the ol’ noggin, yes?

Anyway, my time there was relatively short, all things considered. I had ended up on the Four Freedoms Plaza which was where the Fantastic Four, a superhero team, operated. They’ve got pretty advanced tech for their time period at their building, and, well, to say the sensors didn’t take kindly to my presence would’ve been an understatement, yes?

I eventually made my way inside and the Fantastic Four gave me the type of greeting I suppose they reserve for folks like Doctor Doom, eh? We had quite the scuffle until Mister Fantastic’s home defense systems started acting crosswired and began targeting anyone with superhuman capabilities… which included them, yes?

Naturally, I saw the opportunity to make a deal with them. In exchange for helping them sort things out and protect their son from their haywire inventions, I wanted access to a time machine which I figured they would have. After taking out the haywire robot and saving their son before it exploded (call me a softie, yes? Except you shouldn’t. Ever.), the Four let me use their home time machine (wish I could have one for myself, eh?).

However, when I let slip what I did for a living, they didn’t take too kindly to that little revelation and aborted the time-jump as I was halfway through. Rather than end up home in 8162, I ended up in the year 2020 (formerly labeled as Earth-8410). Can’t really complain too much; at least I wouldn’t have to put up with Spratt, yes?

Now, I’m sure you humans reading this at this point in time know that the year 2020 is… well, it’s not a great year, yes? It’s true for your reality, and I’d say doubly so for this one. The all-star hero of this reality is Iron Man, but not the one you’re familiar with. No, Arno Stark is pretty much all of his distant relative’s negative traits exemplified to the highest degree. He revels in being rich and only wants to get richer. I find that relatable, yes?

Anyway, I didn’t waste any time in finding work and started going after a gang that called themselves the Warlords. My newfound fame eventually came around to bite me and I found myself in a scuffle with 2020’s local Iron Man. Credit where it’s due, he fights good for a human, yes?

Eventually, we realized we had been set up by my employers to fight each other. After we put out differences aside, we, ah, took care of our doublecrossers before going our separate ways. Shortly after that, I spotted my old spacecraft and, curse my luck, it was carrying Spratt. Just when I was starting to enjoy life, yes? And to make matters worse, he was being chase by a nasty bloke calling himself Big Shot.

I still blame this all on the Doctor, between you and me, yes?

Things pretty much went back to normal for me at this point, at least for a time. I had Spratt back on my side (regrettably) and I was back to taking on odd jobs; only difference now was the time period, yes?

After I took out a murderer named Rogan (and got an unwanted crisis of conscience from a woman I had killed him in front of), I found Spratt being harassed by Big Shot again (or maybe… maybe I was simply misremembering the initial encounter. Gah, that’s what I get for relying on some of your guys’ records to help jog my memory, eh?). He was going on and on about revenge and he put up a hell of a fight, yes? Just my luck that I started to get flashbacks from my origin story. Rather inconvenient, no? 

Just as Big Shot was about to finish me off, he was blasted aside by a woman who turned out to be Pyra—hope you remember her from my first entry, yes? Poor woman thought I was still her husband Lupex—who, as luck would have it, transported me back to Styrakos. My old man explained my origin to me and said that Pyra was under the belief that he had already transfered his spirit into me, when he had never gotten around to ever doing that. He then tried to do just that and, well, I wasn’t having any of it, yes? After I took him out, Pyra arrived and revealed to me that she had always known that I wasn’t really Lupex. Was simply a ruse in order to set up this very showdown, yes?

Hnn. Organics and their mind games. Any wonder why I’m not fond of them?

Still, I couldn’t help but admire her cleverness. Mother always knows best, yes? I returned to 2020 and continued my work with Spratt—not like I had much of a choice, eh?

I suppose by this point, my escapades throughout time and space had gotten the attention of the Time Variance Authority. They hired me to help them address disturbances throughout the timeline and, well, I wasn’t going to turn down money like theirs, was I? A trip to Earth-8810 to investigate a time bubble led me to cross paths with the Fantastic Four again, as well as some of their other superhero friends. We managed to put our past grievances aside to deal with a version of Kang the Conqueror and oh, don’t get me started on that guy. He managed to get a hit on my vehicle and I ended up phasing out of reality. Not very fair, yes? The TVA managed to pull me out of that little inconvenience and sent me back to 2020. Decided to put my resignation in then and there.

Another job I took around this time was to procure a vase from the “present day” of Earth-616. This brought me into conflict with a superheroine named She-Hulk and the vase got broken in the process. Fortunately, the green lady let me take the disc that was contained within the vase and I was able to get my payment.

Needless to say, by this point I needed a break from the chaos that was my life. Decided to unwind at a party on Maruthea where I happened to see my old Doctor friend. At this point, I had decided to let bygones be bygones and simply raised my glass in acknowledgment. After getting into a fun little party fight, I made my way home and…

Hang on. I’m reading through the records you folks have on me and… I don’t remember this next bit.

Hob attacked me? I teamed up with my future self only to then try and kill him? The friggin’ DOCTOR erased my memory? And what is this about him being responsible for ending up in Earth-120185? Is there a page missing here or something?

Okay, I remember being killed by Minion—he’s some robot made by A.I.M., yes? He assimilated me and, thanks to Mister Fantastic of all people, I was able to assert a little bit of control, leading to him becoming Death’s Head Mark II. Lots I could detail here but it would get way too complicated and, well, it wasn’t really me who lived through that, yes? That would be my successor. He’s an all right bloke, I guess. But his story is his to tell, not mine.

As for how I got back to being, well, me… story for another time, yes? Besides, there are some records here that even I haven’t figured out the timeline of yet. A whole mess, eh?

Oh yeah and Spratt was killed. Figures.

Death's Head: The World In Question - Entry 3

ENTRY THREE: DOCTOR, DOCTOR

 Datalog 516-87-1963

Hnn. Been a while since I updated this, yes? Been busy as of late. Keep my mission logs separate from this one, yes?

Strap in, because this is where things get crazy. Well, crazier than usual, yes?

When I fell through the time vortex in what used to be Earth-120185 (I know, I know, I’ll address the numbers thing again eventually), I ended up crashing into a rather peculiar object. If you’re from Earth, you would probably recognize it as a police phone box, yes? Now, you might be asking yourself, “What’s a police phone box doing in a time vortex?” Well, because it’s not an ordinary police phone box; it’s something called a space-time vessel, yes? A TARDIS, if you will. Popular among a race called the Gallifreyans. Time Lords. Jeunes-Viellards. Whatever they’re called.

Anyway, the crash caused us to materialize on a barren planet and we were joined by something called a time warden. The occupant of the TARDIS unit was some human-looking creature with a funny-looking hat and a goofy little smile. Called himself the Doctor, yes? Hnn. Should’ve asked for his credentials.

Now, normally in incidents like this a time warden would’ve sorted out are little, ah, chronological dispute. But the time warden who joined us took one look at me and decided it wasn’t worth his effort, yes? Left it to the two of us to sort it out.

Credit where it’s due, the Doctor wasn’t much intimidated by me, even when I picked him up to emphasize my point. Wasn’t sure if he was too dumb to be scared or had already seen his fair share of scary things. In any case, he didn’t anything valuable to bargain with (other than something called “jelly babies”), so I decided to bargain with his life. I was much bigger than him and, well, it was no contest, eh?

But the Doctor had a trick up his sleeve. Literally. He pulled out something called a tissue compression device and used it on me. Hurt like hell, yes? And to make matters worse, it dealt a great reduction in size. Now I was about the same height as the funny-looking man rather than the 30-feet tall behemoth I had become accustomed to being. Quite the downgrade, yes?

I made it clear to him that I was not happy with this change in the status quo and chased him across the barren wasteland. Gave quite the chase, yes? Eventually, he gave himself up and offered to make a deal with me. Always open to a good bargain, so I took him up on the offer, yes? Now that I was to scale with him, he offered to give me his time machine in exchange for his life. I figured that was as good a deal as any, so I accepted.

Big mistake, yes?

Now, it is true what they say about TARDIS units: they are definitely bigger on the inside. After he showed me around, he tried to leave but I stopped him; I had a feeling he was trying to trick me—perhaps by rigging the TARDIS to explode or something—so had him come along on a test drive, yes? I let him pick the destination and he did… but instead of sending us and the TARDIS through time, it only sent ME! 

Never trust a friendly doctor, yes? Wish I could say this was the last time I’d see him, too…

He ended up sending me to the year 8612 on Earth (figures, eh?). The TVA used to call it Earth-5555; might’ve changed it by now, yes? Wasn’t really fun there; ran into a group that called themselves the Dragon’s Claws and they blew me to pieces. Wouldn’t’ve happened if the Doctor hadn’t shrunk me, yes? Was recovered by a fellow named Spratt who rebuilt me with technology native to this futuristic world. Got myself a new blue color scheme out of it, yes? Though I am still nostalgic for the ol’ green…

For reasons unknown even to me, Spratt and I stuck around, with me offering out my services to the people of this particular planet and time. He insisted we were partners, but I didn’t much like that idea, yes? Still, he was useful. Helped with the bookkeeping, yes?

It was during this time that I ended up crossing paths with the ol’ Doctor again. A small mechanoid named Hob came to me on behalf of someone from the Doctor’s time called Josiah Dogbolter. Hob was made of pretty valuable material, and essentially sold himself to me in exchange for me killing the Doctor. What can I say? I like to harbor a grudge, yes?

Dogbolter’s people gave me a time machine that fit on my back, and after quite the trip through time I managed to find him playing dress-up to entertain others. Waste of time, yes? Anyway, I confronted him in his TARDIS only for the alarm to go absolutely nuts. Turns out, the Dogbolter fellow had double-crossed me! The time machine was actually a time BOMB and had been primed to kill the both of us!

Didn’t have much of a choice, yes? The Doctor and I had to work together. We brought the TARDIS to Dogbolter’s place and I had the Doc try to blast the damn thing off my back. Clasps were pretty sturdy though, yes? Luckily, the Doc had another idea; he used a handy tool of his own to undo the clasps and I tossed the bomb onto Dogbolter’s roof. Wish I could say I stayed to watch the explosion, but we had to hightail it out of there, yes? We then parted ways, although not without the Doctor giving me some lip about change and all that. Hnn. Only really paid half attention to it, yes?

We ended up on Earth in I want to say 1989, but sliding timescales mean that doesn’t mean much, yes? See, he had left me in Earth-616, which is somewhat adjacent to Earth-120185 only the Transformers aren’t really anywhere to be found. After the TVA merged them recently however, that might’ve changed. Hn. Retcons, am I right?

And of all the rooftops to drop me off at, what better and more convenient than the Four Freedoms Plaza, yes? Home to the Fantastic Four. No, not the Baxter Building; not at this point in the continuity, anyway.

Hnn. Wish I could say more, but employers are calling me again. Back to work, yes? Just as well; this is where my “fun” with superheroes starts to take off…. 

Death's Head: The World In Question - Entry 2

ENTRY TWO: WANTED - DEAD OR ALIVE

 Datalog 516-87-1962

Right. Where was I?

Hnn. Suppose I could jump here. It’s how you fellas found out about me in the first place, if I understand correctly.

By this point, I was in the universe Earth-9284. Now, you guys may know it by some other numbers: 616, 91274, 120185… that last one I think might be more correct. But see, ever since management, ah, shifted here at the TVA, there’s been some… renumbering going around. Relabeling. Some merging of certain redundancies. A regeneration, if you will. So, for shorthand, I’ll just be using 9284 for the universe where my career really took off.

Anyway, the year was 2007. Just a year or so after that Unicron bloke got blown up in this reality. I was having some downtime on Elpasos when I heard about a bounty that had been placed on the head of Galvatron, leader of the Decepticons. 10,000 shanix, and it was coming from the wallet of Rodimus Prime himself, the new head honcho over on Cybertron. I’d be a fool to pass up that kind of opportunity, yes?

After the barkeep gave me the rundown on why Rodimus wanted Galvatron gone so bad, I, ah, settled my tab with him and went on my merry way. Since no one had seen Galvatron in a while, I decided to hunt down his two lieutenants, Cyclonus and Scourge, yes? Wasn’t hard to find them, but they, ah, didn’t take well to me asking about where their leader had gone to. We had a little spat, yes, and eventually Cyclonus broke and spilled the beans. Told me that Galvatron had fled about twenty years in the past of some planet called Earth, something the three of them had done before, right? I found the time-jump mechanism they had used and went off hunting.

Now, Earth… that’s a funny little planet, yes? Doesn’t look like much but you’ll be hearing me talk a lot about it. The TVA are especially interested in its history, and most of them are the same species as the planet’s main inhabitants. Humans, yes?

Anyway, I ended up in the year 1987 where I materialized in front of an Autobot. Bumblebee, no? He didn’t take too well to my appearance because, see, with time-jump mechanisms, it kind of works like a swap feature. If someone travels to a particular time, that means someone in that time needs to be pulled out and placed in limbo until that person leaves. In this case, my arrival meant one of his Autobot friends disappeared, and he wasn’t too happy about that. We had a little quick draw and, well, I was just a little bit quicker, yes? Blew him up real good.

Hnn. That reminds me; Paradox told me that this created a little incongruity. See, when Earth-9284 was separate realities, the one called 91274 had a, ah, different fate for Bumblebee than what I put him through. Something to do with some group called Cobra, yes? Or was it G.I. Joe? Doesn’t really matter, I suppose, since it was ultimately decided that those alternative events didn’t really take priority since no one involved really wanted to acknowledge them, yes? Maybe they exist in some pocket reality; the TVA likes to shunt some of those incongruent events into their own corner.

Hn. Sorry for the tangent there.

After that little standoff, I made my way to the Decepticons’ little island base, I had a scuffle with that bloke Soundwave until I got him to squeal. He pointed me in the direction of Mount Verona, where ol’ Galvatron was having it out with some Autobot called Ultra Magnus, yes? When I got there, I found out that Rodimus Prime had decided to make his own trip to 1987 and was going after Galvatron himself. A violation of contract, yes? Guess Prime was a bit too blinded of his hatred for Galvatron to fully comprehend that. He tried to cancel the contract but business just doesn’t work that way, no?

In all the confusion, Galvatron got the jump on me and took out my right arm’s motor connection. Had to call it quits. I let Rodimus have his fun with Galvatron but promised him that he would be next if he managed to take out Galvatron and refused payment. Hope he got the message, yes?

Once I had gotten myself fixed up, I returned to find Rodimus at Galvatron’s mercy. Couldn’t have that, yes? Still needed my payment. We had a decent fight, ‘til one of the Autobots activated a device that sent us all back to the future. Well, all except Galvatron. Figures, eh?

Wish I could say that was the end of my interactions with these Transformers but life is never that simple, eh? 

Back in 2007, I was hanging around on Scarvix when the Decepticons approached me with an offer of 10,000 shanix in exchange for Rodimus Prime’s head. I was still harboring a grudge for that last incident, so I took the job, yes?

Got the jump on him at the Autobots’ own base and quickly overpowered him. Would’ve finished the job if it hadn’t been for those same two Decepticons I went after before. Cyclonus and Scourge, yes? Were pretty jealous over me being given the job to take out Prime. To make a long story short, Rodimus turned the tables and gave me the 10,000 shanix in advance in exchange for going after those two. What can I say? I’m easy to please, yes?

Took until the start of the new year on Earth when I finally found them on the planet of Junk. One of the natives managed to talk me out of killing them by speaking my language: money. Wish I hadn’t fallen for it; maybe life would have been much simpler, yes?

Ah, I don’t have the time to go over everything that happened next. Memory’s kind of a blur, also. Time travel will do that to you, yes? Had a chat with Shockwave, who hadn’t compensated me for the Rodimus job. Went back to Junk, there was a whole hubbub around Unicron’s disembodied head, which I guess was still alive? Hnn, doesn’t matter. Whole thing with a mindlink between him and Rodimus or something.

As I was dealing with Cyclonus and Scourge to complete my latest contract, the Junkions blew up Unicron’s head and created a time portal. I pulled them in with me but we got separated in the vortex. Figures, eh?

Anyway, I think that’ll do it for this log. Will revisit later to catch you up on what happened next, yes?

Death's Head: The World In Question - Entry 1

ENTRY ONE: THE BODY IN QUESTION

Datalog 516-87-1961

Am I really doing this? Hn. Fine. Suppose so.

Right. Name’s Death’s Head. Heard of me, yes? Number one freelance peacekeeping agent in the galaxy. Universe. Multiverse. Whatever.

Currently working for the TVA - Time Variance Authority if you didn’t know. They’re the ones who want me to put together this record. Why? Beats me. Apparently it’s something they ask all of their agents to do, though I’ve never heard of anyone else having to put something like this together. Not that I ever talk to anyone here.

Where do you start with someone like me? Been everywhere in the galaxy at this time. Everywhen, too. Beauty of time travel, yes? 

Suppose I should start from the beginning. Or at least what I think is the beginning. Always a good place to start, yes? Middle is also good, since it gets quicker to the point, but in this case… yeah. The start is good.

So, there’s this place called Styrakos. Never heard of it? Probably wouldn’t. It’s not really a planet but another dimension. What separates a dimension from a universe? Don’t look at me, I’m not your teacher. Anyway, it’s a place where magic and technology coexist in a strange balance, going back and forth on which one gets to rule over the other. Kind of like that one planet. Prysmos, yes? The one with those knights and lords and visionaries and whatever. Hn. Wonder if there’s some copyright infringement to look into there?

Sorry, keep getting distracted. Waiting for a call from a client and I’m doing this while I wait. The light keeps blinking and I think it’s them but it’s… never mind. Forget it.

Right. Styrakos. Magic and technology, back and forth. Eventually, a magician by the name of Lupex comes along. Real powerful fella. Bit too powerful, yes? In order to survive, he has to transfer his spirit into a new body in order to keep trucking along. But he eventually realizes that he can’t do it for very long, so he creates what he hopes will be the perfect body. One that will last a while. Puts it aside until he’s ready to use it.

Around this time, he takes on an apprentice. Pyra, is her name. Beautiful lass and Lupex, well, he falls in love with her. She strings him along before rejecting him in favor of another bloke. Klu was his name, I believe. Lupex ain’t happy about this so he kills Klu and takes his body. Pyra isn’t much a fan of this, no? So she finds the body he had built and programs it with a unique, independent personality.

And that’s where yours truly comes in.

Now, what happened after that, your guess is as good as mind. Pyra’s plan of revenge never came to fruition as someone stole me and super-sized me somehow. Made me a massive fellow, yes? Before I knew it, I was calling myself Death’s Head and taking jobs as a freelance peacekeeping agent. No, I’m not a bounty hunter. Let’s make that one clear, yes?

And, see, this is where things get fuzzy. There are some adventures I had that you - the folks on Earth-1218, yes? - were exposed to after some others but might’ve taken place before those others. I think. Maybe. Been trying to sort that out with Mr. Paradox, my handler, but he’s been busy with other stuff I guess.

Hnn. Doesn’t matter, I suppose; my client is finally calling. I’ll pick this one up later then, yes?  

Star Wars Destinies Retold: This Evil Reborn, Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

 The Ravager, Jakku system, 5 ABY

It had been too long since he had been home. 

Fleet Admiral Gallius Rax never once thought he would ever feel nostalgic for Jakku, considering how much he had hated the planet when he had been a child. But seeing it now through the viewport of the Ravager as the Super Star Destroyer entered the system, he could not help but feel a warm feeling in his heart.

Perhaps it was not just nostalgia he was feeling but anticipation for what was to come. The last three decades of his life had all been building up to this moment in his life, the grand culmination of the Emperor’s Contingency. It would be here that the fate of the galaxy would be decided, all hinging on every action he took. It would have been an overwhelming feeling, no matter what planet it took place at.

Still, he maintained his composure all the same. He had to, given the audience he now had in his presence.

“Pathetic.”

Rax stirred out of his thoughts and frowned deeply. He glanced at the man standing next to him, facing the viewport even though he could not see what it showed.

“This barren wasteland of a planet is where the fate of the Empire shall be decided?” Jerec asked, a sneer etched across his face.

Rax allowed himself to relax, a smirk twitching upon his lips. “I thought Miraluka such as yourself could not see.”

“I can see it through the Force,” Jerec snapped back, his brow creasing over the black band that covered his empty eye sockets. “This world is worthless; it offers no strategic value in its placement on the galactic map nor does it appear to offer any valuable resources. How is it that this place is where everything that shall be decided?”

“Because, High Inquisitor, the Emperor has prepared it as such.” Rax inclined his head, his dark eyes staring into where Jerec’s should have been. “Trust in the plan, my friend. Once we have all the pieces in places, you will see just what it is Jakku has to offer.”

Jerec scowled at him. “We shall see about that, Admiral. For now, I remain skeptical.”

The sound of approaching footsteps interrupted their conversation and Rax turned his attention to an officer that had appeared behind them. The young man stood stiffly to attention and saluted before clasping his hands behind his back.

“Admiral, the delivery from Warlord Zsinj’s forces has arrived.”

Rax’s face brightened. “Ah, wonderful. I am glad that even a man such as himself can come through on his end of the deal. Please, bring them in.”

The officer nodded before stepping aside and motioning two stormtroopers forward, accompanied by another officer that had been sent from Zsinj’s forces. Between them, hooked onto their arms with her hands bound by stuncuffs, was a pale woman in ragged clothing with long strands of dark brown hair draping around her tattooed face. Her black eyes blazed with hatred as they fell upon Rax before being pushed down to her knees by the stormtroopers.

As Rax looked down upon the Nightsister, the officer from Zsinj’s forces approached him. “She was carrying this on her person,” he said as he then held up a small pyramidal object in the palm of his hand. Etched with ancient runes, it had a crimson glow to it that slowly pulsated, as if was bursting with energy.

Rax heard Jerec take in a breath even as his own eyes widened in surprise. “A Sith holocron,” the Miraluka Inquisitor breathed aloud. He took a step towards the Nightsister, his hands curling into fists. “Where did you find such an artifact?”

The Dathomiri woman lifted her head up at him and sneered. “I have nothing to say to you, Imperial scum.” She punctuated her statement with a projectile of saliva aimed straight at his chest.

Moving in a blur, Jerec unclipped his lightsaber and ignited its scarlet blade, which he held right at the Nightsister’s neck. “The only reason you are still alive is because your powers are required for our plans,” the Inquisitor snarled. “Although I am sure Warlord Zsinj still has plenty of your ilk to choose from should you prove to be uncooperative.”

“Zsinj can burn in hell for all I care, along with that blood-traitor that serves him now!”

Rax forced himself to tear his gaze away from the Sith holocron and looked back down at the Nightsister. “What is your name, witch?”

“Do not speak to me, you spawn of a—”

“If you give me your name, then I will release you from your restraints.” He cut off the protest that Jerec was about to utter with a wave of his hand. “And if you tell us where and how you acquired this holocron, then your life will be spared after your duty has been fulfilled.”

The Nightsister glowered at him. “You were not planning on keeping me around after you were done with me?”

“No,” Rax said truthfully. “I was not.”

The witch continued to glare at him before her expression softened ever so slightly, as if she was impressed by his honesty. Still with a venomous bite to her tone, she said, “My name is Silri. I stole the holocron from Tyber Zann.”

“The crime lord?” Jerec retracted the blade of his lightsaber but kept the hilt ready in his hand. “How does such a precious artifact end up in the hands of scum like him?”

Silri shrugged. “He stole it from Jabba the Hutt, from what he told me. Don’t ask me how the Hutt managed to get it. He freed me from an Imperial base on Dathomir in exchange for accessing and decoding the holocron. You Imps then stole it from us, Zann led us on a raid to take it back. While he pulled off his little stunt at Kuat, I used it as an opportunity to slip away with the holocron, following the map it gave me.”

“And where did it lead you?” Rax asked.

“A dead world in the Expansion Region. There was nothing there of note.” Silri paused for a moment before adding quietly, “Except for an ancient cache of Sith soldiers, all frozen in carbonite.”

“Impossible.” Jerec turned his head to Rax, an incredulous expression on his face. “Surely the Emperor would have known something such as this existed, regardless if he had the holocron or not.”

“Perhaps he did, perhaps he did not.” Rax found his gaze drifting back to the holocron, still in the officer’s hands. He then closed his eyes and forced himself to focus before turning back to Silri. “What happened next? I take it you did not awaken this… hidden army?”

Silri scoffed. “I would have if an Imp scout ship hadn’t found me and taken me back to Dathomir. I guess that’s why I was chosen to be sent to you; I am disposable in the eyes of both Zsinj and Mother Gethzerion.”

Rax looked back to the officer. “And Zsinj had no interest in the holocron?”

The officer shook his head. “He does not think highly of… frivolous totems, as he put it. He said to give it to you so it wouldn’t ruin his decor.”

“How generous of him.” Rax then drew a holdout blaster and shot it directly into the officer’s chest. As the other man crumpled to the ground, Rax swiftly caught the holocron as it fell to the floor before turning and shooting down the two stormtroopers that had brought Silri in. He paid no heed to the shocked stares of everyone on the bridge as he beheld the Sith artifact in his hands.

“Inquisitor Jerec,” he said without tearing his gaze away. “Please free our Nightsister friend from her shackles and then show her to her cell. She will wait there until she is needed.”

He did not wait for a response from Jerec as he made a swift departure from the bridge. He did not remember entering the turbolift or inputting the code to his personal quarters; all he could think of was the artifact in his hands, the knowledge it contained whispering to him every step of the way.

As he entered the darkness of his room, he peered into the shadows and presented the artifact to the man waiting within. From the shadows, Darth Vorath extended a withered hand and Rax gingerly placed it into his fragile palm. The Dark Lord then spoke out to him, his sibilant voice filling Rax’s mind.

“Ready your forces, Admiral. The time has finally come.”

*  *  *

Jerec remained where he stood after Admiral Rax had made his abrupt departure from the bridge, taking the Sith holocron with him. The Nightsister Silri was still kneeling next to the two stormtroopers that had just been gunned down by Rax, her hands still locked within stun cuffs.

She lifted her eyes up at him and raised her bound arms expectantly. “Well? Aren’t you going to—?”

With a snap-hiss, Jerec swung his saber and shattered the stun cuffs, nearly taking Silri’s hands and face in the process. As the Dathomiri witch let out a string of curses, Jerec turned sharply to an officer—the first one that had approached Rax—and raised a finger to him.

“Take her to a cell and keep her there. Bring an entire squad of stormtroopers with you. No matter what you do, do not let her into your head!”

The officer snapped off a quick salute before carrying out his orders. Jerec then headed down the bridge as well, destined for his own personal quarters. He entered the room to find his apprentice—his last living apprentice—sitting cross-legged in a meditative position. As he closed the door behind, Sariss opened her eyes and regarded him with cold green eyes.

“You seem troubled, my lord.”

Jerec huffed as he began to pace back and forth. “I am beginning to lose faith in this contingency plan of our glorious Emperor.”

Sariss uncrossed her legs and rose to her full height. “You do not believe it will succeed?”

“Not with Rax at the helm. He appears to be… distracted. Unfocused. As if he is not the one fully in control.”

“Do you suspect someone else, then?”

Jerec stopped in his tracks and lifted a hand to his chin. “That Sith Lord… the one he calls Vorath… he has not told me anything about him. Where he found him, where he has been throughout all of this time, why the Emperor and Lord Vader were unaware of him… nothing.”

“Is there a chance he is an impostor?” Sariss asked.

Jerec considered the thought before shaking his head. “No, he is definitely strong in the dark side. I can sense that much. But there is a chance he may simply be claiming to be a Sith.”

“Even so,” Sariss said, “if he is strong in the dark side, then surely the Emperor would have known of him.”

“And maybe he did.” It was an ironic echo of Rax’s own words, one that he knew Sariss would not catch on to. He turned his head towards her, a mirthless smirk curving from his lips. “After all, your father was a powerful practitioner of the dark side whom the Emperor was well aware of, and he was not Sith.”

Sariss stiffened and Jerec could feel the anger boiling within her at the mention of her father. “Clearly he was not powerful enough,” she said coldly. “He perished at Mindor.”

“Did he?”

Sariss’ hesitation in responding lasted only for a second, but it was enough for Jerec to notice. “I felt his death in the Force.”

“Ah. Perhaps I underestimated the connection you had with him.”

Sariss said nothing to this but her furious glare spoke volumes. Jerec merely smirked before resuming his pacing.

“In any case, I do not expect any straight answers from Rax, nor do I believe he will allow me to speak with Vorath himself. Which means I will have to find answers some other way.”

“And what is it you have in mind?”

He stopped again and his grin broadened even further. “That, my young apprentice, is where you will come in. I am unable to leave this ship without Rax noticing. You, on the other hand, are specially trained in slipping away without people noticing.”

Sariss bowed her head. “I will perform whatever task you ask of me, master.”

“Good. You are to travel to Dromund Kaas.”

Sariss stiffened again, anger flashing behind her eyes once more. “Why there? The Prophets will be of no use.”

“The Prophets of the Dark Side, if any of them remain, have long since vacated Dromund Kaas. No, instead you will find a secret cache of holocrons and artifacts that the Emperor maintained on that planet without their knowledge. Only Cronal knew of the cache, knowledge which he had passed on to me.”

Sariss seemed to relax somewhat. “You believe there will be information on Vorath there?”

“If it is to be anywhere, it would be there, although I’m sure the Emperor had other caches scattered across the galaxy.” Jerec lifted his head up, studying his apprentice closely through the vision the Force gave him of her. “Can I trust you to carry out this task?”

She bowed her head again. “Of course, master. I will not fail you.”

“Excellent. I suggest you leave now before Rax emerges from his quarters. The less he is reminded of your existence, the better.”

Sariss gave a firm nod before heading for the door. After she had left the room and the door had resealed shut, the thought idly crossed his mind that he might very well have sent his apprentice to her death; if she got too close to the truth and Rax or Vorath found out about it, then they would no doubt dispatch their agents after her to stop her from getting the information back to Jerec.

And he would not do anything to stop them. Sariss was skillful, yes, but not exactly the most ideal apprentice. Should another come along, he would gladly replace Sariss with them.

All he cared now was finding out what exactly it was Rax and his newfound Sith ally were hiding from him, and whether or not this plan of theirs would succeed. After all was said and done, he would return to his efforts of finding the Valley of the Jedi… with or without Sariss.

A long day was ahead of him, that much he knew. He just couldn’t wait for it to be over.