Transformers Tsunami: Issue 2

 Date: 3/11/2015

ROLL OUT (PART 2)

Prologue

(Cybertron, before the war)

ZETA PRIME: Is this a wise move, brother? I mean, I would never wish to question your wisdom, but to shatter the AllSpark and spread its shards across the universe? Wouldn't that be more risky than to leave it intact?

NOVA PRIME: I understand your concern, Zeta. But the risk of the AllSpark falling into Megatron's hands is far greater than anything. Trust me... this is what must be done.

Present day

(Earth. Skyquake and Fracture are blowing stuff up)

SKYQUAKE: Ha! Ha! Yes, run, fleshings! No one can stop us!

ARMORHIDE: Mind if I test that theory? (He punches Skyquake)

SKYQUAKE: Hn. Autobots. Come to ruin the fun, have you? In that case... allow me to return the favor.

OPTIMUS PRIME: Boy, 'Cons sure do suck at comebacks.

RATCHET: Aren't you going to join in the fight?

OPTIMUS PRIME: No way, man. They've got it handled. Besides, I'm waiting for the Big Gun to show up.

RATCHET: "Big Gun?"

OPTIMUS PRIME: Duh. Shockwave.

RATCHET: Well, that's still no excuse to-- (He gets knocked down by Fracture's stomp)

OPTIMUS PRIME: So, yeah, let me know when Shockwave shows up. Bye!

(Elsewhere)

THRUST: Skyquake, what's takin' so long?

SKYQUAKE: (on screen) The Autobots are here, Thrust. They're... proving to be a bit of a nuisance.

THRUST: Huh, that was quick of 'em. What do ya suppose we do, Shockwave?

SHOCKWAVE: The answer is simple, Thrust. We deal with the nuisance. Then... we'll be free to accomplish our mission!

(Military base)

ARMORHIDE: WAAAH! OOF! Always the splits. 'Bee! Heads up!

(A grenade blows up by Bumblebee, then Fracture wallops him)

FRACTURE: Ha! This is almost too easy, Skyquake!

SKYQUAKE: I'll say.

RATCHET: Let's see if you're still laughing when I'm through with you! (Skyquake blasts him with his cannon) ARGH!

FRACTURE: You do the honors, Skyquake.

SKYQUAKE: No, no. Ladies first.

RATCHET: Optimus? Come on! We're getting pounded over here! We need your help! Optimus? Optimus, do you read me? Optimus!

SFX: CHOOM!

SKYQUAKE: Aggh!

RATCHET: Optimus?!

OPTIMUS PRIME: You're lucky I had finished my book.

SKYQUAKE: Ha! What's one more Autobot in a fight like this?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Well, here's the thing, Skyquake. This particular Autobot... is Optimus frikkin' Prime. YAAAARGH!

(He goes nuts and kicks their butts)

ARCEE: You know, for a lazy jerk, he sure knows how to fight.

OPTIMUS PRIME: Hey, you don't get to be commander of a team if you don't know how to-- (He gets shot in the back by Shockwave) Shoulda... kept my mouth shut...

RATCHET: Shockwave!

SHOCKWAVE: I admire your resolve, but I'm afraid it won't do you any good.

DEAD END: Hands where I can see 'em.

SHOCKWAVE: I will admit, Prime: when I heard you were on Earth, I nearly panicked. Not necessarily because of stories of you, but those of your brothers. For over a century have the Primes been feared by many a Decepticon. But you? You are a disgrace to their name. Never before have I seen such a pathetic commander. You leave your teammates to die. You send them in without caring about consequences. Even I give some thought to followers, for all of their hard work.

DEAD END: Lies.

SHOCKWAVE: Silence, Dead End. But you? None at all. So tell me, if I kill you now, in front of your crew... do you think they will miss you?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Probably not. But I'll miss them. Ratchet and his crankiness... Arcee and her attitude... Bumblebee and his quietness... Armorhide and his loud music...

ARMORHIDE: Gosh!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Wheelie and his rescue attempts...

SHOCKWAVE: All very touching, but-- wait. Rescue attempts?

(Wheelie flies in with the Autobot ship)

SHOCKWAVE: Oh slag.

DEAD END: I'm outta here!

FRACTURE: Coward!

SHOCKWAVE: No, Fracture, I believe Dead End's strategy is indeed wise. Decepticons, retreat!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Ha! That sure showed 'em. ...Ratchet, there's a hole in my back. Fix it.

RATCHET: Um, right.

ARMORHIDE: Nice save, Wheelie! How did you know we were in trouble?

WHEELIE: I didn't. Optimus left the autopilot on.

OPTIMUS PRIME: Eh-heh-heh....

(Shockwave's hideout)

DEAD END: Well, now what do we do?! If the Autobots aren't afraid to use the frikkin' spaceship in battle, what chance do we have?

SHOCKWAVE: It would appear I need to accelerate my plans.

SKYQUAKE: What do you mean, my lord?

SHOCKWAVE: On this planet is the AllSpark. Or rather, its fragments. That is what brought me to Earth. My plan was to find Energon to repair the ship we crashed in before tracking the AllSpark shards with it. But it would appear we must approach things differently. We must split up to scour the planet for the shards. That way, the Autobots cannot take us on at once. I refuse to accept failure. Now go... find my shards!

(The Orion)

OPTIMUS PRIME: I'm sorry.

RATCHET: For what?

OPTIMUS PRIME: For being a jerk. I was inconsiderate, taking you for granted. You're only on this ship because I recruited you, not because you volunteered. Shockwave was right. You probably wouldn't miss me. But I still meant what I said. For the most part.

RATCHET: Well, you still have time to make up for your negligence. Only you can prove Shockwave right or wrong.

OPTIMUS PRIME: You're right! It's time to prove that I'm a great leader!

(Cut to him watching TV)

OPTIMUS PRIME: Ha! Ha! He hit his head on a coconut!

RATCHET: Don't get ahead of yourself.

FIN

CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Arcee, Armorhide, Bumblebee, Nova Prime (flashbacks), Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Wheelie, Zeta Prime (flashbacks)

    Decepticons: Dead End, Flatline, Fracture, Shockwave, Skyquake, Thrust

Transformers Tsunami: Issue 1

 A short-lived comic I wrote while making Regenerated. Only made 4 issues.

Date: 3/10/2015

ROLL OUT (PART I)

THE STORY

    The Hundred Year War between the Autobots and the Decepticons has ended. The Decepticons have gone into exile while the Autobots remain in control of Cybertron. Fifty years later, rogue Decepticon units who are against the peace have been detected across the galaxy. In response, the Autobots have established Tsunami Station, a network of Autobot teams who hunt down these Decepticons. Now one such rogue unit has been found on Earth, long-time ally of Cybertron, and they just may prove the most dangerous of all.

--

CAPTION: Tsunami Station

(A hand presses a button on a desk)

SFX: Beep

ZETA PRIME: Optimus?

(Optimus is sitting in a waiting room, reading)

ZETA PRIME: Optimus?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Come on! I only have like, five pages left!

ZETA PRIME: OPTIMUS!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Ugh, fine. (He enters the room) 'Sup, bro?

ZETA PRIME: Take a seat.

OPTIMUS PRIME: You sure there isn't a whoopee cushion?

ZETA PRIME: Just sit down.

OPTIMUS PRIME: So, what's hangin'?

ZETA PRIME: This is urgent, Optimus. Shockwave's been on Earth.

OPTIMUS PRIME: Shockwave?

ZETA PRIME: Megatron's chief scientist. Former chief scientist, it would appear. Reports say that he has at least five ex-prisoners under his command:

    Dead End, rumored vampire and former Stunticon;

    Skyquake, veteran Seeker and feared Air General;

    Fracture, wanted for destroying five cities;

    Flatline, 'nuff said;

    and Thrust, rumored ex-Seeker.

    We don't know why Shockwave is on Earth, but since the planet is under your jurisdiction, you must stop him.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Okay, cool.

    ZETA PRIME: ...You leave now.

    (Hangar Bay)

    ARCEE: Knock knock.

    ARMORHIDE: Who's there?

    ARCEE: Knock knock.

    ARMORHIDE: Who's there?

    ARCEE: Knock knock.

    ARMORHIDE: WHO'S THERE?!

    ARCEE: Just making sure your audio receptors are working!

    (SFX as they duke it out)

    RATCHET: Arcee messing with Armorhide again?

    WHEELIE: Yup.

    RATCHET: Primus, why did Optimus recruit such children for a team like this?! Then again, he's no more mature than they are.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Hi, Armorhide. Hi, Arcee. Hi, Bumblebee. See you on the ship. Hi, WALL-E.

    WHEELIE: Wheelie.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Hey, Ratchet. Why the long face - longer than usual, that is?

    RATCHET: How can you call yourself a leader? You recruit two cadets who always fight - and you let them fight - a traumatized mute, a cranky medic, and a sarcastic Mini-Con... and you expect us to work together seamlessly. Why?

    OPTIMUS PRIME: 'Cos I'm Optimus Prime. Now get the ship up and running.

    RATCHET: Same rant for six months, same answer...

    (Meanwhile, on Earth. Dead End drives recklessly through streets while blasting music from his radio)

    TRUCK DRIVER: Watch it, ya' free load!

    (Dead End drives down an alleyway and transforms)

    DEAD END: Thrust? It's me.

    THRUST: No need to tell me. I could tell just from that emo punk trash you were playing.

    DEAD END: So this is our new hiding grounds? A junkyard?

    THRUST: Hey, it has its uses.

    DEAD END: Enlighten me.

    THRUST: Oh, you know. Contraptions, weapons of mass destruction, the works.

    DEAD END: Ha! As if anyone could make a doomsday device out of this scrap!

    SHOCKWAVE: You'd be surprised, Dead End. I have learned that humans can be quite resourceful.

    DEAD END: Give me a break. These fleshlings are more primitive than Nebulans.

    SHOCKWAVE: Maybe so, but they still have their uses. Now then... what have you to report?

    DEAD END: Well, there's this military bas towards the east with high energon readings. Might be worth looking into.

    SHOCKWAVE: Excellent. Fracture, Skyquake, take what we need from there!

    SKYQUAKE: At once, Lord Shockwave!

    (The two of them leave)

    DEAD END: "Lord" Shockwave?!

    THRUST: I keep tellin' ya, he's insane.

    (Space, the Autobot ship is en route to Earth)

    MUSIC: I was born on Luna 2~!

    RATCHET: Armorhide, what did I just tell you?!

    ARMORHIDE: Aw, c'mon! I'm getting bored out of my mainframe, here!

    RATCHET: I. Don't. Care! Is it too much to ask for some peace and quiet?

    ARMORHIDE: Well, maybe if you had let me get those new fancy headphones, you would get your peace and quiet!

    RATCHET: Those cost 500 Shanix! Just use your internal radio!

    ARMORHIDE: I told you it's free! Not everyone has an intact--

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Hey! I'm trying to read here! Shut your pot holes!

    (Beat)

    RATCHET: ...Umm, we're approaching Earth.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Mm-hmm.

    RATCHET: We're landing.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Okey-dokey.

    RATCHET: We're all set to go.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Got it.

    RATCHET: ...Megatron's my uncle.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: M'kay.

    RATCHET: You're not listening to me, are you?

    GENERAL FREEMAN: Optimus Prime!

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Oh slag, it's shorty!

    GENERAL FREEMAN: You've got here in the nick of time! Reports are coming in that one of our bases is under attack!

    RATCHET: Decepticons?

    GENERAL FREEMAN: Most likely.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Finally! Some action! Autobots, load up your weapons (unless you've got swords)! It's time to kick some tailpipe!

    (Military Base)

    GUARD #1: I wish something exciting would happen!

    SFX: FWOOSH!

    SKYQUAKE: Tremble, fleshings! This base now belongs to the Decepticons!

    GUARD #2: And you say I have a big mouth!

    TO BE CONTINUED

CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Arcee, Armorhide, Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Wheelie, Zeta Prime

    Decepticons: Dead End, Flatline, Fracture, Shockwave, Skyquake, Thrust

    Humans: General Freeman

Transformers: Axiom Nexus Issue 1

 A comic I made ten years ago.

Date: August 10, 2015

AXIOM NEXUS

Story #1: How Ratchet Got His Hands Back... Again

[first story in this anthology is just an adaptation of James Roberts' unused "Ratchet/Drift hands gag", so I won't be replicating it here]

Story #2: The Dimming Light 

    Universe: Viron 704.31 Epsilon

    Set prior to the events of Shell Game

    CAPTION: Cybertron - what remains of it -

    CAPTION: Torn asunder by one Cybertronian mad with power. Hope has become a foolish concept in the eyes of everyone. Save one.

    DEFENSOR: There you are. You shouldn't be out here in the open, Prime.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: You worry too much, Defensor.

    DEFENSOR: Do I? Just an hour ago Storm Jet spotted Skyfire and Wind Sheer flying overhead. They know we're here.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Then you should be out there preparing the others for battle and not fretting over me!

    DEFENSOR: But, sir -

    OPTIMUS PRIME: No 'buts,' Defensor!

    DEFENSOR: Optimus, listen! If you die, then we lose the Matrix and thus any little shred of hope we have! Without you, we are utterly helpless.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Perhaps... but only if I'm actually carrying the Matrix.

    DEFENSOR: What? (Optimus beams the Matrix's energies into him) GAH! What... what did you just do?

    OPTIMUS PRIME: I have passed on the Matrix of Leadership to you. If I fall in battle, it will be up to you to lead the Autobots.

    DEFENSOR: But, Prime, I can't -

    OPTIMUS PRIME: There is no use in arguing. What's done is done. Now go... Join Ultra Trion and the others at Base Sigma. They will be the last resort if the Decepticons defeat those here.

    DEFENSOR: ...Very well. I won't let you down.

    CAPTION: Meanwhile - Decepticon Fortress

    WIND SHEER: I keep tellin' ya, it's a waste of time. I mean, the Autobots have been stretched thin. We've taken their combiners, we've taken their Titan... What could they possibly throw at us?

    SKYFIRE: Uh, Wind Sheer.

    WIND SHEER: What?

    SKYFIRE: Stand erect.

    WIND SHEER: Excuse me - oh.

    BOTH: Hail, Lord Megazarak!

    OBSIDIAN: Silence, imbeciles! Speak only when Megazarak permits you to!

    MEGAZARAK: Obsidian...

    OBSIDIAN: Yes, my liege?

    MEGAZARAK: Shut up. Decepticons, the time for our attack has come! The Autobots have been spotted and are ripe for destruction! The plan is simple: Obsidian will lead the first wave of troops, with Devastator serving as the muscle. Then, I will arrive with Fortress Maximus (as controlled by Megabolt) and obliterate whatever is left of their base. Then I will -

    DREADWIND: *Cough*

    MEGAZARAK: WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY SPEECH?!

    DREADWIND: Um...

    SMOKEJUMPER: We have a teensy bit of a problem...

    CAPTION: Autobot Camp

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Gone?! What do you mean 'gone?!'

    X-BRAWN: Gone as in completely: Prowl, Side Burn, Ironhide, Swerve... none of us can find them anywhere.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: ...This is bad.

    X-BRAWN: You're telling me?

    OPTIMUS PRIME: I'm serious, X-Brawn. The Decepticons will be on us in any moment. If they didn't already outnumber us before... No. We must stand tall. For the sake of every Autobot who has fallen. We'd be doing them a disservice if we gave up now. Hot Shot, rally the remaining Spy Changers.

    HOT SHOT: Right.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Grimlock, are your Dinobots ready?

    GRIMLOCK: Always.

    OPTIMUS PRIME: Then that settles it... (He suits up in Super Mode) Let battle be joined!

    NARRATOR: But hope is not everything. (We see Megazarak punching through Optimus's chest as the Autobots are massacred) Not all miracles come true. (Megazarak is enraged at not finding the Matrix) Not all dreams are realized. But, not all lights go out. And sometimes, all one needs is a single ray of light... to illuminate their path.

    SIDEWAYS: Looks like my work here is done.

Story #3: With My Own Eyes

    UNIVERSE: Aurex 203.26 Zeta

    Starring Refute

    [this story mostly relies on visuals; basically a lot of Transformers are drawn weird, like Optimus having a mouth over his faceplate (rather than underneath it) and Hot Shot's transformation scheme not making any sense]

    REFUTE: If you'd seen half the things I'd seen, you'd already be eligible for an insane asylum.

    I've seen things that I know should not be possible. Things that just make me wonder 'Why is it that way?' Things that make me question the laws of the universe. 

    My friends say I think too much. Then again, my friends are stupid. Maybe that's why I didn't mind siding with the Decepticons. They seemed to accept things by destroying them. Maybe that's why I don't mind watching the world burn. Because in my eyes... it deserves it.

    RANSACK: Come on, Refute! Let's powerlink!

    SFX: Shoom!

    REFUTE: Ah, here comes the Rapture.

    RANSACK: What the-?

    REFUTE: Just in time.

    RANSACK: Holy scraplets!

    OIL SLICK: Mother...

    (They're all abducted by Unicron. Sideways drives up and transforms)

    SIDEWAYS: Boy, do I have my work cut out for me...

Story #4: And Now For Something Completely Different

    UNIVERSE: Unknown

    Some universes are best left unexplored.

    [so you know how Takara made TF figures based on Disney characters like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck?]

    CAPTION: Earth - but not how you remember it

    TELETRAAN: Alert! Decepticon sighting! Repeat! Decepticon sighting!

    MICKEY MOUSE: Let's roll, Autobots!

    JAFAR: My liege, we have procured most of the energon.

    PETE: Excellent work -

    MICKEY MOUSE: Not so fast!

    PETE: Eh? You.

    MICKEY MOUSE: This ends here.

    PETE: Ah, Mickey Mouse! Here to save the day once again. You won't succeed this time.

    MICKEY MOUSE: At the end of this day, Pete, one shall stand and one shall fall.

    PETE: Blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all before. Now then, Decepticons... attack!

    MICKEY MOUSE: Autobots, roll out!

    (Complete pandemonium ensues)

    ???: ROARRR!

    QUASIMODO: Eh? What's that?

    MICKEY MOUSE: It's Maleficent and her Predacons!

    MALEFICENT: My Predacons! Merge into Predaking!

    (The Predacons, which include Scar and Shere Khan, merge together)

    PREDAKING: Prepare for extermination!

    GOOFY: Garsh...

    PETE: Quickly, Decepticons! Transport the energon! AUTO! Is the space bridge ready?

    AUTO: Affirmative, Lord Pete.

    PETE: Excellent. Soon, Cybertron shall be -- (FWOOSH!) AGH! Hades! What are you doing?

    HADES: Betraying you. Dugh.

    MICKEY MOUSE: Autobots! Reinforcements are incoming.

    HERCULES: The Princes!

    MICKEY MOUSE: Led by none other but Prince Hans himself! Boy, what a great Autobot! Would be a shame if he was actually a Decepticon, huh-huh!

    HANS: I. Can't. Take. This. Anymore.

    HANS/SIDEWAYS: All right, that's it! I've had enough of this ridiculous universe! I'm not an Autobot. I'm not a prince. My name isn't even Hans. It's Sideways. I'm a cross-dimensional traveler working for Unicron. I was here to abduct some of you guys, but you know what? I'm not going to. Why? Because there aren't enough Matrices of Leadership that could repel the darkest hour you would bring.

    MICKEY MOUSE: Huh. And I thought Donald was hard to understand.

    DONALD DUCK: Hey!

    SIDEWAYS: Yeah. So I'm gonna leave now. You carry on with what you're--

    ANNA: Wait! Can't you just let it go?

    SIDEWAYS: They're all yours, boss.

    (Everyone screams as Unicron consumes them)

    FIN

CHARACTERS

Story #1

    Autobots: Drift, Ratchet, Rewind

Story #2

    Autobots: Defensor, Fortress Maximus, Grimlock, Hot Shot, Hound, Mirage GT, Nightcruz, Optimus Prime, Scavenger, Sideways, Sky Lynx, Ultra Trion, X-Brawn

    Decepticons: Bludgeon, Devastator, Dreadwind, Megabolt, Megazarak, Obsidian, Skyfire, Smokejumper, Toxitron, Wind Sheer

Story #3

    Autobots: Hot Shot, Optimus Prime, Swerve

    Decepticons: Oil Slick, Ransack, Sideways

    Mini-Cons: Ironhide, Perceptor, Refute, Roadhandler

Story #4

    a bunch of Disney characters I don't feel like listing