ROAR OF THE PREDACONS
(We open on Animatron, the Beast Planet, where Gigatron [remember him?] is testing his new beast mode, a twin-headed dragon)
Gigatron: This beast mode is amazing! I can easily crush the Autobots!
Flamus Prime: Pity you can't do so to the Maximals.
Gigatron: Maximals? What's a Maximal?
Flamus Prime: They're a rebellion made of former Autobots. Some of them have proven to be quite strong.
Gigatron: No Autobot -- Maximal or not -- is strong; ONLY I AM! [Boy, that scenery must taste delicious for him to be chewing it so much]
(Elsewhere, the Maximals gather in a cave)
Leo Prime: Anything, Fangwolf?
Fangwolf: Negative, Prime.
Leo Prime: Hm. Seems the Preds may have given up.
Fangwolf: I wouldn't count on that, Leo. I know Flamus... and he never gives up! [But will he never let you down?]
(In the skies fly Brimstone and Terrorsaur)
Brimstone: This is Brimstone. I've found the Maximals! [Gee, was it really that easy?]
Flamus Prime: Excellent. Send Double Punch and Tarantulas into their base and kill everyone inside!
(Meanwhile, in space, the Axalon arrives at Animatron)
Cheetor: Why're we here, big bot?
Primal Major: I thought I told you, Cheetor. I've been informed Optimus' team is currently not able to come to Animatron. [Yeah, it's not like it's their quest or anything to visit all the colony worlds] Airazor, scan alternate modes for us.
Airazor: Strange... these creatures are quite similar to Earth animals. [Because Beast Wars. Also, how would you know that?]
Primal Major: Doesn't matter. Autobots, get into the reformatting chamber. (They do so and depart from the Axalon in their beast forms) Autobots... maximize. [You... you're not even Maximals yet. Stop]
(Elsewhere, Starscream and Noisemaze are caught in some space bridge thing, I don't know)
Starscream: Where in the AllSpark are we?!
Noisemaze: I thought I told you! [Oh god, more "As You Know" exposition] We're in some sort of wormhole!
Starscream: I know that, Noisemaze. I meant, where in the wormhole? [How would... it literally looks the same throughout!]
Noisemaze: I believe, Starscream, we're at its end.
(They exit the wormhole and collide into... the Axiom. From WALL-E. Even though. It already. Exits. In. The. Main. Universe. ARGH)
Starscream: This is gonna be one long solar cycle... [YOU'RE TELLING ME?!]
(Meanwhile, on a planet that looks SUSPICIOUSLY like Earth, the Autobot Axiom has crash landed....)
Optimus Minor: Ugh. I'm so suing the guys who cause are ships to crash. Fastfix, send a probe and scan the area.
(Fastfix does so and later receives a report)
Fastfix: So far, nothing but dirt and garbage. [oh no]
Turborun: Where are we? Junkion? [i wish, that would actually be interesting and fun]
Fastfix: Wait! I'm picking something up! (A red dot appears on the ground)
Lightyear: Something is up....
(The probe ship EVE arrives in in WALL-E lands. Gee, I wonder where this is going)
Probe Ship: Dispatching Probe Unit One.
Lightyear: I think I sat on something. (He digs up WALL-E. He sighs)
[i think i have a problem]
(On the Axiom)
GO-4: Lord Shockwave, Probe One, Two, and Three have been dispatched.
Shockwave: Excellent work. Be ready to retrieve any probes that find the plant.
GO-4: What do you need the plant for?
Shockwave: You'll see in due time. Set up all probe unit HUDs on the viewscreen.
(Back on Earth, the Autobots spot EVE)
Turborun: What the heck is that? [An unnecessary crossover]
Fastfix: I have no clue.
EVE: (draws her blaster) Directive?
Turborun: Directive?
Fastfix: What's a directive? [oh my god are you serious you're alien robots how do you not know oh great they google it and learn god what is this what's wrong with past me argh]
Optimus Minor: We're searching for the four Cyber Planet Keys [YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND ANY HERE, I PROMISE YOU THAT] We've... seen two.
Fastfix: But 'bots keep snatching them from us. [because you're morons]
Optimus Minor: We followed the two keys into this wormhole and that's how we got here.
Turborun: Can you help us?
(Through EVE's eyes, Shockwave sees the Autobots)
Shockwave: What?! Probe One, do not -- I repeat, do not assist the Autobots.
EVE: Shall I eliminate them?
Shockwave: Y-- ....No. No, spare them. For now. If they try to interfere with the mission... then you may eliminate them.
EVE: (to Optimus) I'm not able to assist you. I have my own mission.
Optimus Minor: Very well. By the way... my name's Optimus Minor.
Shockwave: Optimus... Minor? Apparently I have missed out on certain events. This should be interesting. [don't count on it]
(Back on Animatron, the Predacons kick the snot out of the Maximals)
Leo Prime: Oof!
Brimstone: Weakling. You are beaten! We've already captured your greatest soldiers! Give up now!
Leo Prime: Never! (He slashes at Brimstone) We'll never give up. Even if Cybertron burns, we'll never give--
(Suddenly, a blue light shines and the Predacons retreat for some reason)
Leo Prime: And who are you?
Primal Major: The name's Primal Major, and we're here to kick butt. [ugh]
(Back on Earth, the Autobots find the Pizza Truck, which is a Transformer. I'm not... I'm just not going to... no.)
(Back on the Axiom)
Shockwave: Hmm. I believe this WALL-E may be important to the mission. [admit it, you've already seen the movie]
GO-4: And how would he be of any help?
Shockwave: You'll see. Probe One, initiate personality chip Beta-1009.
GO-4: Are you sure about this? She'll develop feelings for him!
Shockwave: Exactly. This plan of mine is like a puppet show... and I'm the puppeteer.
[what?]
To be continued [Starscream's right, this is gonna be a long one]
FEATURED CHARACTERS
Autobots: Armorfist, Fastfix, Lightyear, Optimus Minor, Turborun
Decepticons: GO-4, Shockwave
Maximals: Airazor, Backstop, Cheetor, Fangwolf, Leo Prime, Primal Major, Rattrap, Repugnus, Rhinox, Tigatron
Predacons: Brimstone, Flamus Prime, Gigatron, Terrorsaur, Waspinator
Others: EVE, Noisemaze, Round Table, Starscream, WALL-E
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