THE LOST AUTOBOTS, PART I
(Four million years ago, an Autobot ship is flying through space when the boss-bot calls them)
Optimus Prime: This is Optimus Prime to the Valiant. Do you copy?
Gunrunner: Gunrunner here. What is it?
Optimus Prime: My crew is about to take off. Ultra Magnus shall be in command while I'm gone.
Gunrunner: Understood. Gunrunner out. (He then turns to address his crew, which consists of the three 1987 Targetmasters) I want you three to go investigate this world Argai. I don't want an action like on Andegea to be repeated, understood?
Sureshot (?): Yes....
Gunrunner: Good. Now roll out!
(The trio make it down to the planet and start exploring)
Crosshairs: Man, this world is desolate.
Sureshot: Hm. (He spots a bug thing skittering by) Maybe that fella has some answers. Hey, buddy! Mind explaining what's-- [Okay, first of all: why would a bug know anything about the planet it lives on, let alone convey it to him in any shape or form?]
(But it doesn't matter, 'cos the bug hypnotizes the three Autobots and they start chanting "All. Hail. Xim.")
Xim: Excellent. Now, the galaxy shall be mine once more!
[Okay, for those who don't know, Xim is a very obscure characters from the Star Wars Expanded Universe (now Legends) who ruled the galaxy years before the founding of the Republic. He was first mentioned in the classic Han Solo novels by Brian Daley. As for why I'm using him here... I have no idea. It's been so long since I made this I feel like I'm witnessing the ideas of someone else]
(Anyway, back in the present day on Cybertron, Wheeljack and Glyph are examining Mr. Freakazoid from last issue)
Wheeljack: So... what is it?
Glyph: Hm... I can't find any glyphics matching his.
Wheeljack: This is gonna be hard.
(Suddenly, Freakazoid wakes up!)
Freakazoid: The seeds of the future have already been sown.... under your very feet!
(Then he passes out again. Sheesh, what a waste of time....)
(Back in Axiom Nexus, Shockwave and the two Primes are standing around)
Shockwave: So this is your 'plan?'
Necros Prime: Yes. Cyclonus and Scourge shall transfer their Unicron power into the space bridge and-- [Already that sounds dumb]
Shockwave: Hold it. Is it really that simple? Using Unicron's essence to power up a space bridge? [Good to know I was self-aware even then]
Necros Prime: It's not a space bridge. [YES IT IS!] It's simply a means to summon another Herald of Unicron. [BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE!]
Shockwave: Do you really think we can trust a Herald, and them us?
Necros Prime: You trust Cyclonus and Scourge, do you not?
Shockwave: (glances at the two Decepticons) Fine.
(On Velocitron, Turborun is speeding through the penultimate race)
Online: Turborun's reaching the finish line and-- (Suddenly, something blasts Turborun off the road) Holy scrap!
("Holy scrap" is right! It's the Stormtroopers! And they actually managed to hit something)
Aquablast: Good shot, eh, Drench?
Drench: Meh.
Rage: Aquablast, Drench, take out the Autobots!
Aquablast: With pleasure!
Online: Uh... th-that's all folks.
(And so a firefight breaks out between the Autobots and the Stormtroopers)
Windbreaker: Wonderful.
Heavypunch: This reminds me of that time in Kalis and--
Optimus Minor: Save it, old timer! Excellion, Vroom, Joyride, we need help now!
Excellion: Hey, who made you the boss?!
Optimus Minor: Out of all the Autobots present here, I'm the one with the highest rank.
Clocker: He's got a point!
Excellion: Fine...
(And so the racers join in the fight.)
(Back in Axiom Nexus, Axiom Prime and other natives are still chanting "All. Hail. Shockwave." like they have been since the Shattered Glass arc. An Autobot who looks a lot like WALL-E walks up to them, only to then be joined by two others who look a lot like Buzz Lightyear and EVE.)
Lightyear: Wastelifter, come on! This way!
(They drive/fly off to I have no idea where and find a trio of Decepticons)
Lightyear: Great. Three guards. All right, we need a plan. Axiom is enslaved and the rest of the team is dead. We can't blast our way through... and flying is out of the question. Unless you guys wish to stay here the rest of your lives or something... it's up to you. [Um, what?]
Wastelifter: WHA?! [Yeah, what he said]
(And so the three surprise attack the Decepticons and take them out. I... really have no idea what's going on. Meanwhile, Shockwave and co have got a portal working in the space bridge.)
Necros Prime: At last! He should be coming soon.
Shockwave: Hold on... you're one of the Thirteen, one of the "sons" of Primus, correct?
Necros Prime: Yes....
Shockwave: Then why are you summoning a Herald of Unicron?!
Necros Prime: It doesn't matter. Besides... we're still family.
(Finally, a figure emerges from the space bridge, greatly resembling Cybertron Sideways....)
Necros Prime: Ah, welcome... Noisemaze!
(On Argai, Xim sits upon his throne)
Crosshairs: Master. We. Have. Conquered. The. Condoon. System.
Xim: Excellent work! You have proven yourselves worthy. Next, we shall strike the Hadeen system... and you shall rule a planet of your own! [I fail to see how that would work if you're talking. Like. This.]
(Back on Cybertron, Omega Prime and others are walking around)
Omega Prime: Anything, Kup?
Kup: Cosmos said a whole fleet has entered the Hadeen system.
Omega Prime: Red Alert?
Red Alert: We're trying to strengthen security, but-- (He is cut off by a voice on Omega Prime's comm)
???: Sir?
Omega Prime: Commander Lightyear? I thought you were serving Axiom Prime.
Lightyear: Uh, about that. I've sent Agent Eveningstar back to your universe.
Omega Prime: Understood. What then?
Lightyear: Send reinforcements along with her.
Omega Prime: Got it. Prime out. [You're... not even going to ask?]
Kup: Uh, Prime? Bad news: they've just captured Dread... and now they're coming here!
(We close on a shot of Xim's fleet approaching Cybertron....)
[I guess that makes him Invader Xim, am I right?]
To be continued.... [Come on, don't leave me hanging!]
FEATURED CHARACTERS
Autobots: Armorfist, Botanica, Crosshairs, Eveningstar, Glyph, Gunrunner, Heavypunch, Kup, Lightyear, Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Optimus Prime, Perceptor, Pointblank, Red Alert, Sureshot, Turborun, Wastelifter, Wheeljack, Windbreaker
Decepticons: Aquablast, Cyclonus, Drench, Rage, Scourge, Shockwave
Velocitronians: Clocker, Excellion
Others: Axiom Prime, Freakazoid, Necros Prime, Noisemaze, Nova Prime, Xim
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