The Transformers, Issue 57: Velocitron, Chapter Eight

RACE TO THE KEY

   (On Velocitron, everyone gets ready for the final race) [About time....]

    Online: For once, I'd like a perfect race without interruptions!

    Clocker: Can't we just cancel the race and--

    Online: CANCEL THE RACE?! Of all the things you say... (Suddenly, Online gets blown up! The Decepticons are here! Hooray!)

    Megastorm: Autobots! Your destruction is at hand!

    Heavypunch: Hn. Never did want to live forever....

    (Skywatch lunges forward with his blade)

    Skywatch: I've been trained in the arts of Metallikato! And Circuit-Su!

    Turborun: Good for you.

    Skywatch: Therefore, you shall fall!

    Turborun: Really? (He shoots Bladespin, who was trying to sneak up on him) Try me.

    (Nearby, Firestorm and Icestorm gang up on Fastfix)

    Icestorm: A doctor, eh? I wonder if you can heal when you're dead.

    Fastfix: Try me. [Hey, you can't use the same witty quip twice!]

    Icestorm: I'd rather chill ya! [oh god]

    (Suddenly Fastfix vanishes! Because... he's a hologram? I dunno. Anyway, Heavypunch appears behind the two 'Cons and bashes their heads in)

    (Meanwhile, Irontread is facing off against Armorfist)

    Irontread: You're going down, Autobot! I'll rip your spark out of your che--

    (Armorfist chucks a grenade at him)

    Armorfist: BOOM BOOM!

    (But enough of that. Back in Axiom Nexus, Shockwave and Necros Prime are still standing at the Space Bridge)

    Shockwave: So who shall we send?

    Necros Prime: Send the Stunticons to Velocitron... the Combaticons to Earth... and the Terrorcons to Animatron.

    Shockwave: And if they fail?

    Necros Prime: Then-- (He gets cut off by a shot to the head! Turns out Lightyear is hear with the cavalry!)

    Lightyear: Missed us?

    Necros Prime: You never learn... do you? (He pulls back his hood to reveal an super edgy evil face with lots of horns) I am Death. And you are my guests. (He powers his staff to kill an Autobot. To Shockwave, he says:) Go. I'll handle these pests.

    Lightyear: Wastelifter, stand back.

    Necros Prime: Fools. You are all fools. You don't know power until it hits you square in the face! So long, fool! [Stop. Saying. Fool.]

    (Without warning, Shockwave aims his gun at Necros!)

    Shockwave: I am Shockwave. It is only logical power belongs to me.

    Necros Prime: Naturally.

    (...But enough of that! We cut to Cybertron, where Invader Xim's invasion is still ongoing)

    Hawkeye: Team Hawkeye, move out! Skyburst, take your Air Fleet towards the main ship!

    Skyburst: On it!

    (On Xim's ship)

    Invader Xim: At last, I shall accomplish what Palpatine could not! I shall-- [How does...? Palpatine was...? ...Never mind]

    Pointblank: Lord. Xim. Look.

    Invader Xim: What? (He looks out the window and sees the combiner-formed Skyburst outside his ship) No fair! I never get gestalts!

    (And so Skyburst blows up the ship, the brainwashed Autobots get unbrainwashed and fall to safety, and Xim gets captured. Wow.)

    (Back on Velocitron, Megastorm is about to kill Optimus Minor...)

    Megastorm: Where. Is. The Planet Key?!

    ???: Right here, Decepticreep! 

    (Megastorm turns to see Override and the Velocitronians surrounding him. Realizing his Decepticons are out of commission, he retreats! Override gives Optimus the Planet Cup (which has the key)... only for Noisemaze to show up and take it!)

    (And that's it! That's the end of the Velocitron arc!)

    (Boy, did it suck!)

    To be continued in Volume II: Earth

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Armorfist, Crosshairs, Double Clutch, Eveningstar, Fastfix, Firetrap, Hawkeye, Heavypunch, Ironhide, Lightyear, Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Pointblank, Stakeout, Skyburst, Steelshot, Sureshot, Tailwhip, Tomahawk, Turborun, Wastelifter, Wheelie, Wheeljack

    Decepticons: Bladespin, Firestorm, Icestorm, Irontread, Megastorm, Shockwave, Skywatch

    Velocitronians: Clocker, Online, Override Prime

    Others: Necros Prime, Noisemaze, Nova Prime, Xim

The Transformers, Issue 56: Velocitron, Chapter Seven

THE LOST AUTOBOTS, PART II

   (We open on Invader Xim attacking Autobot ships. And yes, I am going to be calling hims that from now on)

    Autobot ship: This is Epsilon Fleet! We're going -- arrrrgh!

    Kup: We've lost Epsilon Fleet! [No kidding?]

    Invader Xim: It's useless to resist! Cybertron shall be ours!

    (On Velocitron, the Autobots are still fighting the Stormtroopers)

    Armorfist: Boom boom.

    Heavypunch: What?

    (Armorfist pulls out a grenade)

    Heavypunch: Oh....

    (Armorfist throws the grenade, which takes out Aquablast (but doesn't kill him))

    Rage: (upon seeing the damaged Aquablast) You weakling... (to his comm) Megastorm, we are outnumbered. We're heading back to rendezvous area. Rage out. (To the Autobots) Rejoice now, Autobots, for this shall be your only victory. This, I swear. 

    (The Stormtroopers then drive off) [Boy, for all their hype, that sure was anti-climatic]

    Turborun: Yeah, you go on and run to your daddy!

    Online: That's it! We're going straight to the final race! After that, I quit! [I get the feeling this was me conveying my boredom with all the racing]

    (At Megastorm's camp, Megastorm is looking at... more stuff)

    Megastorm: Hmm... there must be another way... (pointedly to Rage) Without losers like you.

    Rage: If Megatron was in charge, he'd gather all his soldiers and attack the Autobots head on!

    Megastorm: Guess what, Rage? I'm not Megatron. (He then shoots Rage pointblank in the face, sending the Stormtrooper flying back)

    Drench: RAGE!

    Megastorm: Don't worry... nothing Hydradread can't fix. And I do believe it is time for direct action. Decepticons... move out!

    (Back on Cybertron...)

    Red Alert: This is Red Alert to all security! We need all Maximus bases online!

    Trailbreaker: Trailbreaker to Cloudburst! Get the shields up pronto!

    Cloudburst: Consider it done.

    ??? (voice-over, likely Omega Prime): Send all fleets to sector seven immediately! Now get ready! Whatever this "Xim" guy has up his sleeve... we'll be ready!

    (At the science lab, Mr. Freakazoid is back up)

    Freakazoid: This... is only the beginning. This... is the least of your worries!

    Wheeljack: (immobilizes him again) Be quiet.

    Omega Prime: (on screen) Perceptor, set up all defenses in your perimeter!

    Perceptor: On it!

    (Outside, Thunder Clash is leading Autobots out)

    Thunder Clash: Be ready for anything!

    Ironhide: Even that?

    Thunder Clash: (turns to see the three Targetmasters standing before them) Oh, Primus....

    Crosshairs: Eliminate. Them.

    (At Axiom Nexus, Lightyear is generating a shield to protect him and Wastelifter from Shockwave's Decepticons)

    Wastelifter: Too many! We doomed!

    Lightyear: I sent Eveningstar a megacycle ago! She should be-- (The shield then dissipates)

    Wastelifter: Uh-oh....

    Terradive: Excellent! Kill them!

    Lightyear: Well, this looks like our last stand, buddy. Let's make it count.

    (Just then, the cavalry arrives!) [OF COURSE!]

    Terradive: Eh? Oh... why me?

    Goon: Shockwave ain't gonna like-- (He dies)

    Terradive: Send in the Insecticons....

    (And so a battle breaks out between the Decepticons and the Autobot reinforcements. Meanwhile, with Shockwave and the gang...)

    Terradive: (on comm) Shockwave! This is Terradive! We're out-- (Static cuts him off)

    Shockwave: I can never leave that idiot alone for--

    Noisemaze: May I speak?

    Shockwave: What is it?

    Noisemaze: How about I go find the Planet Key for you?

    Shockwave: Hmm...

    Necros Prime: Fine.

    Nova Prime: Don'ttrusthim, don'ttrusthim, don'ttrust him

    Noisemaze: Come on! Trust me!

    Shockwave: Very well. You may go.

    Noisemaze: With pleasure.... (He then teleports away)

    (On Velocitron, at a mysterious hideout...)

    Inch-Up: Boss, visitor!

    ???: What do you want?

    Visitor: Nothing much, Starscream. I simply bare news. He's returning, Starscream. The chaos lord.

    Starscream: And why should I care?

    Visitor: So you don't care if you are devoured?

    Starscream: I'm immortal, remember?

    Visitor: Your spark is... your body is not.

    Starscream: So? I can just find another one and possess it.

    Visitor: You don't understand! [Neither do I. What the heck is going on?]

    Starscream: I guess not... Now leave...

    Visitor: Fool. (He teleports away) They'll never understand... chaos is coming.

    To be continued... [I... I have no words. What... was this?]

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Armorfist, Cloudburst, Crosshairs, Heavypunch, Ironhide, Kup, Lightyear, Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Perceptor, Pointblank, Red Alert, Sureshot, Thunderclash, Trailbreaker, Turborun, Wastelifter, Wheeljack

    Decepticons: Aquablast, Drench, Firestorm, Hydradread, Megastorm, Rage, Shockwave, Terradive

    Velocitronians: Inch-Up, Online

    Others: Freakazoid, Invader Xim, Necros Prime, Noisemaze, Nova Prime, Starscream

The Transformers, Issue 55: Velocitron, Chapter Six

And now for the crossover nobody asked for (Hasbro did it first though).

THE LOST AUTOBOTS, PART I

    (Four million years ago, an Autobot ship is flying through space when the boss-bot calls them)

    Optimus Prime: This is Optimus Prime to the Valiant. Do you copy?

    Gunrunner: Gunrunner here. What is it?

    Optimus Prime: My crew is about to take off. Ultra Magnus shall be in command while I'm gone.

    Gunrunner: Understood. Gunrunner out. (He then turns to address his crew, which consists of the three 1987 Targetmasters) I want you three to go investigate this world Argai. I don't want an action like on Andegea to be repeated, understood?

    Sureshot (?): Yes....

    Gunrunner: Good. Now roll out!

    (The trio make it down to the planet and start exploring)

    Crosshairs: Man, this world is desolate.

    Sureshot: Hm. (He spots a bug thing skittering by) Maybe that fella has some answers. Hey, buddy! Mind explaining what's-- [Okay, first of all: why would a bug know anything about the planet it lives on, let alone convey it to him in any shape or form?]

    (But it doesn't matter, 'cos the bug hypnotizes the three Autobots and they start chanting "All. Hail. Xim.")

    Xim: Excellent. Now, the galaxy shall be mine once more!

    [Okay, for those who don't know, Xim is a very obscure characters from the Star Wars Expanded Universe (now Legends) who ruled the galaxy years before the founding of the Republic. He was first mentioned in the classic Han Solo novels by Brian Daley. As for why I'm using him here... I have no idea. It's been so long since I made this I feel like I'm witnessing the ideas of someone else]

    (Anyway, back in the present day on Cybertron, Wheeljack and Glyph are examining Mr. Freakazoid from last issue)

    Wheeljack: So... what is it?

    Glyph: Hm... I can't find any glyphics matching his.

    Wheeljack: This is gonna be hard.

    (Suddenly, Freakazoid wakes up!)

    Freakazoid: The seeds of the future have already been sown.... under your very feet!

    (Then he passes out again. Sheesh, what a waste of time....)

    (Back in Axiom Nexus, Shockwave and the two Primes are standing around)

    Shockwave: So this is your 'plan?'

    Necros Prime: Yes. Cyclonus and Scourge shall transfer their Unicron power into the space bridge and-- [Already that sounds dumb]

    Shockwave: Hold it. Is it really that simple? Using Unicron's essence to power up a space bridge? [Good to know I was self-aware even then]

    Necros Prime: It's not a space bridge. [YES IT IS!] It's simply a means to summon another Herald of Unicron. [BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE!]

    Shockwave: Do you really think we can trust a Herald, and them us?

    Necros Prime: You trust Cyclonus and Scourge, do you not?

    Shockwave: (glances at the two Decepticons) Fine.

    (On Velocitron, Turborun is speeding through the penultimate race)

    Online: Turborun's reaching the finish line and-- (Suddenly, something blasts Turborun off the road) Holy scrap!

    ("Holy scrap" is right! It's the Stormtroopers! And they actually managed to hit something)

    Aquablast: Good shot, eh, Drench?

    Drench: Meh.

    Rage: Aquablast, Drench, take out the Autobots!

    Aquablast: With pleasure!

    Online: Uh... th-that's all folks.

    (And so a firefight breaks out between the Autobots and the Stormtroopers)

    Windbreaker: Wonderful.

    Heavypunch: This reminds me of that time in Kalis and--

    Optimus Minor: Save it, old timer! Excellion, Vroom, Joyride, we need help now!

    Excellion: Hey, who made you the boss?!

    Optimus Minor: Out of all the Autobots present here, I'm the one with the highest rank.

    Clocker: He's got a point!

    Excellion: Fine...

    (And so the racers join in the fight.)

    (Back in Axiom Nexus, Axiom Prime and other natives are still chanting "All. Hail. Shockwave." like they have been since the Shattered Glass arc. An Autobot who looks a lot like WALL-E walks up to them, only to then be joined by two others who look a lot like Buzz Lightyear and EVE.)

    Lightyear: Wastelifter, come on! This way!

    (They drive/fly off to I have no idea where and find a trio of Decepticons)

    Lightyear: Great. Three guards. All right, we need a plan. Axiom is enslaved and the rest of the team is dead. We can't blast our way through... and flying is out of the question. Unless you guys wish to stay here the rest of your lives or something... it's up to you. [Um, what?]

    Wastelifter: WHA?! [Yeah, what he said]

    (And so the three surprise attack the Decepticons and take them out. I... really have no idea what's going on. Meanwhile, Shockwave and co have got a portal working in the space bridge.)

    Necros Prime: At last! He should be coming soon.

    Shockwave: Hold on... you're one of the Thirteen, one of the "sons" of Primus, correct?

    Necros Prime: Yes....

    Shockwave: Then why are you summoning a Herald of Unicron?!

    Necros Prime: It doesn't matter. Besides... we're still family.

    (Finally, a figure emerges from the space bridge, greatly resembling Cybertron Sideways....)

    Necros Prime: Ah, welcome... Noisemaze!

    (On Argai, Xim sits upon his throne)

    Crosshairs: Master. We. Have. Conquered. The. Condoon. System.

    Xim: Excellent work! You have proven yourselves worthy. Next, we shall strike the Hadeen system... and you shall rule a planet of your own! [I fail to see how that would work if you're talking. Like. This.]

    (Back on Cybertron, Omega Prime and others are walking around)

    Omega Prime: Anything, Kup?

    Kup: Cosmos said a whole fleet has entered the Hadeen system.

    Omega Prime: Red Alert?

    Red Alert: We're trying to strengthen security, but-- (He is cut off by a voice on Omega Prime's comm)

    ???: Sir?

    Omega Prime: Commander Lightyear? I thought you were serving Axiom Prime.

    Lightyear: Uh, about that. I've sent Agent Eveningstar back to your universe.

    Omega Prime: Understood. What then?

    Lightyear: Send reinforcements along with her.

    Omega Prime: Got it. Prime out. [You're... not even going to ask?]

    Kup: Uh, Prime? Bad news: they've just captured Dread... and now they're coming here!

    (We close on a shot of Xim's fleet approaching Cybertron....)

    [I guess that makes him Invader Xim, am I right?]

    To be continued.... [Come on, don't leave me hanging!]

FEATURED CHARACTERS

   Autobots: Armorfist, Botanica, Crosshairs, Eveningstar, Glyph, Gunrunner, Heavypunch, Kup, Lightyear, Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Optimus Prime, Perceptor, Pointblank, Red Alert, Sureshot, Turborun, Wastelifter, Wheeljack, Windbreaker

   Decepticons: Aquablast, Cyclonus, Drench, Rage, Scourge, Shockwave

   Velocitronians: Clocker, Excellion

   Others: Axiom Prime, Freakazoid, Necros Prime, Noisemaze, Nova Prime, Xim

The Transformers, Issue 54: Velocitron, Chapter Five

I took a hiatus from this 'cause there was this Halloween issue I had made that was very nonsensical and difficult to recap properly. I've decided to skip it for now since it's very much "stand-alone". Might decide to place it after the end of the Velocitron arc. So, anyway...

RECKONING

    (We open on the team at the Velocitron Inn. Turborun is not in a good mood. Again.)

    Turborun: Great. A team of six Decepticons are out there, along with two newbies and five possible soon-to-bes. We are SO dead!

    Optimus Minor: *sigh* We'll handle it. Anyways, you've got three races left. [I think I'm starting to remember why I never enjoyed the Speed Planet episodes in Cybertron....] Good luck.

    Turborun: Right.

    (Later, at the race track)

    Online: Well... Diaster's gang are out... so... the other five racers are still in.... so, uh, go! [How very professional]

    (The racers take off)

    (Meanwhile, at the Speed Canyons where Megastorm's gang are)

    Bladespin: Who ya callin', boss?

    Megastorm: If you must know, Bladespin, I've sent a message to Rage.

    Bladespin: Rage? You mean, "leader of the Stormtroopers" Rage?

    Megastorm: Yes, you fool! I'd expect you to know this. [And yet apparently I expected the reader to know this as well] They should be here soon.

    (Concurrently, we see Rage and his three Stormtroopers beam down to Velocitron)

    Rage: Make yourselves at home... we're gonna be here for a while. [No kidding]

    (Back at the race, Excellion wins, much to Turborun's chagrin)

    Excellion: Beat that, Blueberry!

    Windbreaker: What a jerk.

    Turborun: *emo sigh*

    Optimus Minor: Only two left, buddy. Only two.

    Heavypunch: Besides, the Planet Key is more important. [And yet here you are watching races...]

    Fastfix: If we only knew where to start.

    (Back at the Decepticon camp, Megastorm is looking at... something.)

    Megastorm: None of these look like a Planet Key! This is impossible!

    Gasket: Uh, boss? There is the Planet Cup. It... could be a clue.

    Megastorm: And... how could we get this... cup?

    Gasket: You'd need to enter the Speedia 5000... which they won't allow us to.

    ???: Yes, but...

    (Suddenly, the Stormtroopers show up!)

    Rage: They should allow us. [Clearly I have no knowledge on how NASCAR or literally any sport works because I'm 99.9% sure new players can't be added in the middle of a game and have a fair chance at winning it]

    (Elswhere, Necros and Nova Prime witness the failure of their Horrorcons in the Halloween special)

    Necros Prime: We need help.

    Nova Prime: Like what?

    Necros Prime: Well... if Starscream hadn't shut down all portals to Axiom Nexus, we could've--

    Nova Prime: Wait -- can't you just teleport us there? 

    Necros Prime: ... [Kind of sad when a supposedly threatening villain comes across as very dumb]

    (Meanwhile, in Axiom Nexus, Shockwave is moping while his Decepticons chat)

    Terradive: I wish Megatron was still leading us.

    Oil Pan: Yeah. He would've blasted 'Scream right where he--

    (Suddenly, an enraged Shockwave blows Oil Pan to pieces)

    Shockwave: If you love your *glorious* leader so much, why don't you go and try and bring him back?!

    (Just then, Necros and Nova arrive!)

    Necros Prime: I believe that would be useless. Megatron has served his purpose.

    Shockwave: Who are you? And... is that Nova Prime?

    Necros Prime: I am Necros Prime, and... yes. We are here to help.

    Shockwave: I've had enough help. I just need to get out of here!

    Necros Prime: And then what? What will you do then?

    Shockwave: I shall find the four Planet Keys and rule Cybertron! [This is rather OOC for ol' Shockers...]

    Necros Prime: And how will you do that?

    Shockwave: ...

    (Back on Velocitron, Optimus Minor drives up to Override's office place)

    Optimus Minor: Guards, I wish to speak with Override.

    Guard: That's Override PRIME to you. And she is currently busy.

    Optimus Minor: I wish to see her NOW. It's urgent.

    (Apparently this is enough for the guards and Optimus is allowed into Override's office)

    Override: And who are you?

    Optimus Minor: I am Optimus Minor. I'm here to talk.

    Override: What do you want from me?

    Optimus Minor: My team and I are searching for the four Planet Keys, and one of them is here on Velocitron.

    Override: I... THE Planet Keys?

    Optimus Minor: Yes.

    Override: Th-those are just a myth... aren't they?

    Optimus Minor: Not from what I've heard.

    Override: But... there's no such thing here. Now leave.

    Optimus Minor: Fine. (He transforms and drives off. How very useless)

    (Meanwhile, on Cybertron, Perceptor and others are at a landing site)

    Perceptor: Prime, this is Perceptor. We've found something.

    (Omega Prime drives up) Omega Prime: What is it?

    Perceptor: We don't know yet. We just saw this thing crash here.

    Wheeljack: Bring it up!

    Grapple: Er, Hauler, a little help?

    Hauler: Sure. Almost.... (Suddenly, a weird pod-shaped thing is pulled out) WHOA!

    Perceptor: Is that... a trans-scan pod?

    Wheeljack: Yes... and with glyphics I'v never seen before. I wonder what they--

    (Suddenly, the pod transforms into some... person!)

    Freakazoid (that's what I'm calling him): THE LORD OF CHAOS SHALL RISE AGAIN!

    Omega Prime: Wheeljack, immobilize him!

    Wheeljack: Right! (The inventor does so and Freakazoid goes into shutdown) Whew! I'll take him to the lab and... try to figure him out.

    (Meanwhile ONCE AGAIN, on Animatron....)

    Flamus Prime: What brings you here?

    Gigatron: I come in search of the Animatron Planet Key.

    Flamus Prime: I've never heard of such a thing. The only thing of power we have here is the statue of the Beast. You may leave now... in one piece. Unless you wish to have your heads severed.

    Gigatron: How did you become a beast?

    Flamus Prime: Eh?

    Gigatron: I'm intrigued. How?

    (Flamus Prime is silent at first. Then... he fires some sort of beam at the Decepticon....)

    (Back again once more on Velocitron, Override Prime has a flashback to when she and others first arrived on Velocitron. Concurrently, the second to last race begins just as the Stormtroopers arrive....)

    To be continued....

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Armorfist, Fastfix, Grapple, Hauler, Heavypunch, Jetfire, Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Perceptor, Turborun, Wheeljack, Windbreaker

    Decepticons: Aquablast, Bladespin, Crumplezone, Drench, Gasket, Gigatron, Hydradread, Irontread, Megastorm, Oil Pan, Rage, Shockwave, Sky-Byte, Skywatch, Terradive

    Animatronians: Brimstone, Flamus Prime, Undermine

    Velocitronians: Brakedown, Excellion, Online, Override Prime

    Others: Freakazoid, Necros Prime, Nova Prime