Sunday, June 15, 2025

Transformers Regenerated Comic: Issue 7 - Spotlight: Swerve

     Date: 9/20/2013

STORMBRINGER, PART II: THE SOUND OF SILENCE

    CAPTION: Kimia Station

    DOWNSHIFT: Sergeant Kup! This is certainly a surprise.

    KUP: Drop the "Sergeant," Downshift... I'm here for some weapons and supplies. Mostly weapons.

    DOWNSHIFT: What kind of journey are you on?

    KUP: Top secret. Elite Guard business.

    DOWNSHIFT: Ah. I see... Well, if you want the best, you can see Brainstorm. Though, fair warning... his creations are pretty... out there.

    BRAINSTORM: So what can I outfit you with? Mass-displacement guns? Sub-nuclear bombs?

    KUP: Uh, have anything normal?

    BRAINSTORM: "Normal?" What fun is that?

    KUP: Well, I guess I'll go see Perceptor--

    BRAINSTORM: No, no! Wait... I think I have something for you...

    (Meanwhile)

    HOT ROD: So, Dealer; you stayin' with us, or do you want us to drop you off here?

    DEALER: Well--

    SWERVE: Yo, who's this guy?!

    DEALER: Take me with you.

    SWERVE: You new here? Can't say I've seen you-- Hey! You've got wings! Yeah, you're totally new. Very few bots here have wings. Anyway, I'm Swerve. I'm a metallurgist. I study, er, metallurgy. Hey, wanna be roommates? No one wants to be roommates with me? Can I show you around? Let me show you around. There's a lot of great people here. Some of them are weird, though, but still great! Hey, you guys are on a quest? Love a good quest. Is it a moon quest?

    (Dealer gets into a fetal position as Swerve rambles on)

    (Later, on Styx...)

    LOCKDOWN: And an extra hundred for my ship repairs.

    GUTCRUNCHER: Of course... pleasure doing business with you.

    LOCKDOWN: Hmph.

    SFX: Bzzz

    GUTCRUNCHER: Call for you, Banzai-Tron.

    BANZAI-TRON: Report, Doubledealer.

    DOUBLEDEALER: I have arrived at Kimia Facility, Banzai-Tron. Now, before I begin, let it be known that... I. Hate. My. Job.

    BANZAI-TRON: ...Go on.

    DOUBLEDEALR: Anyway, I've overheard two Autobot scientists discussing the Pretender technology.

    BANZAI-TRON: Ah, Thunderwing's brainchild.

    DOUBLEDEALER: Correct. Perhaps if these Autobots were to develop an improved version of this process... our master's plan could be put at a quicker pace.

    BANZAI-TRON: Hmm... and how do you intend to get them into our hands?

    DOUBLEDEALER: Simple... your 'bots pay an unannounced visit.

    (Kimia...)

    PERCEPTOR: It just can't work, Quickmix! The formula you created would create a reaction so intense, it could destroy a moon!

    QUICKMIX: Okay... how about I switched Compound A with Compound Q.

    PERCEPTOR: That still wouldn't work! In fact, those aren't even correct names!

    SFX: Knock knock

    PERCEPTOR: Who is it?

    SWERVE: It's Swerve.

    (Beat)

    SWERVE: Guess he fainted from the awesomeness.

    SFX: Beep

    TRIPWIRE: Swerve, we've got new visitors.

    SWERVE: Oh, boy! I'll go greet them!

    DOWNSHIFT: Why are you sending him?

    TRIPWIRE: The ship isn't Autobot. Most likely solicitors.

    SFX: Bang! Bang!

    SWERVE: Hang on! Hang on! Sheesh! Hi! Welcome to Kimia--!

    SFX: BLAM!

    SWERVE: YEOW!

    FRACTURE: I said to shoot after I did the talking.

    BRAWL: Whatever.

    SWERVE: I... take it you aren't here to sell us anything. (BAM!) Oof!

    ONSLAUGHT: Attention, Autobots of Kimia Facility! I assure you that this isn't a raid! We have simply come with a request. You may decline it, but only on a few conditions. We request that you hand over the scientists--

    SWERVE: I'm a scientist!

    ONSLAUGHT: ...Anyway. Please hand over the scientist Perceptor--

    SWERVE: Ugh! He doesn't like me! I mean, I ask to enter his lab and he's like "No way!" It's no fair, I tell--

    ONSLAUGHT: Silence!

    SWERVE: Urk!

    ONSLAUGHT: This is your last warning! What shall it be?

    (The Autobots all draw their weapons)

    ONSLAUGHT: Death it is then.

    SFX: Thwoom!

    BRAINSTORM: What the heck is going-- on... (He sees the fighting) I'll get my briefcase...

    SWERVE: Hey! Dealer! Yo! Dude! Let's buddy up! You and me, shooting Decepticons! Together... uh, Dealer? (Dealer transforms into tank mode and aims at Swerve) What are you do--?! (He gets blasted out of the facility and towards the Decepticons' ship) WHOA!

    (Decepticon ship; Treadshot and Nightbird are playing cards...)

    NIGHTBIRD: Er, Treadshot? There's something going on out there.

    TREADSHOT: Oh, no, you don't! I ain't fallin' for that one, lady! Now I may not be as bright as you, but I've had tons of people try to do that trick... and I killed 'em all!

    NIGHTBIRD: Well... I'm being serious.

    TREADSHOT: Right, and I'm Emperor of Des--

    SWERVE: Yo! (He crashed through the window)

    TREADSHOT: What in tarnation?!

    SWERVE: Ow! I'm okay!

    TREADSHOT: Do you have any idea how close I was to winning a game of Praxus Fold 'Em?!

    SWERVE: ...Why? Is that bad?

    TREADSHOT: I haven't won a game in fifty years. (Catgut transforms into a gun and lands in his hands) Now you're gonna get it.

    SWERVE: C-can I just... say something?

    TREADSHOT: Hm. Last words, eh? Sure, go on.

    SWERVE: I love Praxus Fold 'Em! Me and Beachcomber play it all the time! Heck, sports in general are awesome! Ever play Fullstasis? Awesome! I also like racing! Blurr's my favorite! Who's yours? How 'bout Override? She's awesome! Override is a pretty common name. There's an Override I know who's loud as heck! Speaking of loud, I once saw an explosion that was so loud, I needed my audio receptors fixed! My optics melted too. Speaking of optics--

    (Treadshot collapses to the ground. Nightbird has also shut down.)

    SWERVE: Oh. Guess he has a weak spark. Hey! I wonder how you fly this thing! Wow. That's a lot of controls. Ooh! What does this button do?

    SFX: THWOOSH!

    SWERVE: Yee-haw!

    (Kimia...)

    ONSLAUGHT: We've got the scientist, Treadshot. Activate the ground bridge! Treadshot? Do you read--

    (Swerve crashes through in the ship)

    SFX: KROOOM!

    ONSLAUGHT: PRIMUS'S MOTHERBOARD! We need a shortcut! Fracture, activate the emergency one! Now! Quickly, Decepticons!

    ATOMIZER: They're getting away!

    KUP: It's too late, Atomizer.

    SWERVE: Was that awesome or--

    ALL: Shut up, Swerve.

    (Cybertron...)

    ULTRA MAGNUS: Perceptor's been captured?

    KUP: Yes, sir. By the Decepticons. No idea where they've taken him. However, we have taken two of their own captive, so perhaps we could make an exchange with them.

    ULTRA MAGNUS: Depends on how much the 'Cons care about them. Any idea why they captured him?

    KUP: None, sir. However, given how much Perceptor knows... it can't be good!

    TO BE CONTINUED

Characters

    Autobots: Atomizer, Brainstorm, Downshift, Drift, Hot Rod, Ironfist, Kup, Perceptor, Quickmix, Rad, Rewind, Swerve, Tripwire, Ultra Magnus, Windblade

    Decepticons: Banzai-Tron, Blast Off, Brawl, Catgut, Doubledealer, Fracture, Gutcruncher, Lockdown, Nightbird, Onslaught, Treadshot

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