Tuesday, September 24, 2024

The Transformers: Redux, Issue 26: Shattered Glass, Chapter Three

     Date: 9/2/2012

NIGHTMARE PLANET

    ROADBUSTER: So what do we do? Blow everyone up?

    SPRINGER: No, Roadbuster. I think it's best that we find out what's going on on this different Cybertron.

    ARCEE: (over comm) Sir, I've got the directions to Autobot HQ.

    SPRINGER: Good work, Arcee.

    ARCEE: It's the least I can do-

    NIGHTBEAT (SG): Hey! You comin' or what?! I told you where the blasted place is!

    ARCEE: I think we should move out.

    SPRINGER: Sounds like a good idea. Let's roll, Wreckers!

    (They transform and roll out)

    IRONFIST: Wait a minute. Why do we need directions? We know where Autobot HQ is!

    SPRINGER: Well, Ironfist, on a world like this... you never know what might be different...

    (Meanwhile, Arcee and SG Nightbeat arrive at Autobot HQ... which is a very scary fortress)

    ARCEE: By Primus... we're definitely not on Cybertron...

    NIGHTBEAT (SG): Downshift, get this guy locked up.

    DOWNSHIFT (SG): Aye, sir.

    SPRINGER: What the spark is this?!

    ARCEE: You tell me.

    IRONFIST: Man, this is like some Decepticon lair or something...

    (Scattorshot walks by a tube with a corpse in it)

    SCATTORSHOT: I have a bad feeling about this.

    INTERCOM: All Autobots, come to the main room immediately.

    TWIN TWIST: Might as well go.

    (They enter the main room, which looks like an evil throne room)

    IRONFIST: Wow, this is a very big-- oh.

    ROTORSTORM: Spark.

    BULKHEAD: Scrapmetal.

    OPTIMUS PRIME (SG): Well... it seems that we have some guests tonight.

    (Meanwhile, the Mayhem Attack Squad attacks...)

    QUAKE: Ha! Ha! Ha! Die, Autobots! (He blasts the head off an Autobot)

    JAZZ: Oh, great...

    AIR RAID: Jazz, we're getting pounded here!

    JAZZ: I can see that, Air Raid! You would be hard-pressed to not notice it... very hard-pressed.

    SOLDIER: Silverbolt says we should retreat.

    JAZZ: Sage advice. Let's vamoose!

    NEEDLENOSE: Ha! The Autobots are retreating, Bludgeon! Proximax is ours!

    BLUDGEON: Good work, Needlenose. Proceed on to Stanix... there's someone I'd like to meet.

    (Back with the Wreckers)

    SCATTORSHOT: All right, I think we should leave.

    SPRINGER: I don't think that'll be possible, Scattorshot.

    OPTIMUS PRIME (SG): Now then... correct me if I'm wrong, but did you not defect from us, Springer?

    SPRINGER: What?!

    OPTIMUS PRIME (SG): Don't play games with me. Years ago, on Pova, you joined Impactor in his mad quest for power. As well as his attempt to overthrow me.

    SPRINGER: This is crazy! What are you--?!

    OPTIMUS PRIME (SG): Guards, take them away.

    ROADBUSTER: No.

    SIDESWIPE (SG): What was that?

    ROADBUSTER: No. (He blasts SG Sideswipe's head off. Then he starts blastin')

    IRONFIST: Whoa!

    TOPSPIN: And that's why we always take Roadbuster on missions.

    SPRINGER: Time to split up. Roadbuster, you, Arcee, Rotorstorm, Ironfist, and Twin Twist handle things here.

    ROADBUSTER: Right.

    SPRINGER: Rest of you, with me!

    ROADBUSTER: Twin Twist, drill a way out!

    TWIN TWIST: Way ahead of ya'! (He starts drilling, spraying dirt everywhere)

    IRONHIDE (SG): ACKPT! This better be dirt! [ha ha poop joke]

    OPTIMUS PRIME (SG): Stop them!

    IRONFIST: Tally ho!

    NIGHTBEAT (SG): Blast! They got away!

    IRONHIDE (SG): What are your orders, my lord? M-my lord? (Optimus kills him with a sword) SHEAGH!

    OPTIMUS PRIME (SG): Nightbeat, alert all security about the intruders. And tell them that if they find any one of them... to tear them apart!

    (Meanwhile, Stanix...)

    SPINISTER: What a dead town....

    ???: Can't believe he wanted to go there.

    SPINISTER: But why?

    ???: He said he wanted to see someone.

    SPINISTER: But who would want to live in Stanix?

    ???: There's all sorts of different bots, Spinister... you just have to look hard enough.

    BLUDGEON: Megadeath. We need to talk.

    MEGADEATH: I knew you would come one day.

    BLUDGEON: I want answers.

    MEGADEATH: Of course you do... why else would you have come?

    BLUDGEON: Did you know Thunderwing?

    MEGADEATH: Yes, he was under my command.

    BLUDGEON: Why did he leave?

    MEGADEATH: Oh, he just said something about Ultra-Energon and Nucleon and other crud. I didn't need him.

    BLUDGEON: Oh, really? So you just let him leave?

    MEGADEATH: Yes.

    BLUDGEON: And let him cause chaos.

    MEGADEATH: Yes.

    BLUDGEON: And let him accomplish more than you could.

    MEGADEATH: Yes...

    BLUDGEON: Is this all true?

    MEGADEATH: Yes.

    (Bludgeon slices his head off)

    BLUDGEON: Pathetic. (He takes something off Megadeath's person) Bingo. Octopunch, prepare the ship. We're going to Nebulos!

    OCTOPUNCH: Aye aye, captain.

    TO BE CONTINUED

CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Air Raid, Arcee, Bulkhead, Ironfist, Jazz, Roadbuster, Rotorstorm, Scattorshot, Springer, Topspin, Twin Twist, Whirl

    Decepticons: Battletrap, Bludgeon, Carnivac, Flywheels, Megadeath, Needlenose, Octopunch, Quake, Spinister, Stranglehold

    SG Autobots: Downshift, Hot Rod, Ironhide, Nightbeat, Optimus Prime, Perceptor, Sideswipe, Ultra Magnus

    SG Decepticons: Starscream (Jetfire)

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