EDITED 11/14/2023 Rewrote some sections to clean up and fix the timeline of when G.I. Joe and Cobra were active, especially in relation to the Adventure Team.
CHAPTER FOUR: LOOKING FOR AN OLD SNAKE
Cybertron, long ago
“Welcome to the world of functioning circuitry, Gears of Helex.”
The short blue and red robot adjusted his optical sensors as he marveled at the world around him. The ‘con facility that he had been activated in wasn’t actually anything to write home about, being a standard factory, but to a bot like him that was seeing things for the first time in his life, it was a wondrous sight to behold.
The mech who had brought him online had to wave a hand in front of his face to get his attention. Smiling politely, the mech gestured to another robot, a tall one in white and black with red and green stripes. “Wheeljack here will serve as your caretaker and mentor to help show you everything you need to know about life on Cybertron.”
“Cybertron,” Gears repeated, testing out his vocal processor for the first time.
“That’s right.” The other mech turned to the one called Wheeljack. “I’ll leave you two to it. I have others to assign mentors to.”
“Others?” Gears looked over to where he had been batched from, seeing other bots with the same body-type as him but in different colors; one was in green and purple, while another in maroon and scarlet. All of them appeared to be sharing Gears’ sense of wonderment while also displaying a hint of jealousy at the fact that Gears was already being taken away to explore the world.
Extending a hand, Wheeljack said, “Come on, Gears. There’s a whole world out there to explore.”
Taking one last look at his “brothers,” Gears took Wheeljack’s hand and followed him out of the ‘con facility, taking his first steps into a greater world.
Earth (of some kind), now
“Gears?”
Gears stirred himself back to the present. He was still in the Parkers’ backyard, parked in his pickup truck form. May was leaning against his hood, a concerned look on her face.
“What is it?” he grumbled.
“Dad’s talking with Reed Richards on the phone. Apparently you’re not the only one who’s been having dimensional issues.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Some friends of mine called the X-Men were attacked by another giant robot, who kidnapped a giant robot that’s apparently been hiding in their hangar for the past twenty years or so. Both of them teleported away, and Professor Grey thinks that they didn’t just leave the planet, but left this whole reality.”
“…what?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said when I overheard what Dr. Richards was saying.” May shook her head in disbelief. “Look, I’ll be the first to tell you that I can hardly wrap my mind around all of this time travel, dimensional crap; and I say that as someone who’s dad is a scientist.”
“That makes two of us, then.”
May chuckled. “What, you have a dad who’s a scientist too?”
“I think my species has a different term for it than you humans, but… more or less,” Gears said. “We have what we call mentors, or caretakers. The terminology’s changed over the years, but the role has always been the same. My mentor, Wheeljack, is the Autobots’ chief engineer and one of their best scientists, though he specializes more in gadgets and weapons than the stuff we’re dealing with now. That’s always been more of Perceptor’s thing.”
“I wonder if either of them are still around in this reality,” May wondered aloud. “Hell, maybe your counterpart is still alive and kicking.”
“Sweet Primus, my motherboard would probably overload if I met myself,” Gears muttered. “Only reason why I still haven’t booted offline is because I’ve never met you guys in my reality, so I can still tell myself that this is all one big prank and I’m still on my Earth.”
“Well, now you’ve given me an existential thought,” May said jokingly. “Maybe I don’t even exist at all in your reality… God, I’m getting a headache just by thinking about that.”
“How about we both agree to not think about it and let the experts do the thinking for us?”
May laughed. “Now that I can get behind.”
At that moment, her father Peter came out of the house, having finished his call with whoever this Reed Richards was. “If you two are all set, Dr. Richards is waiting for us at the Baxter Building. Your mom is staying here to watch over Benjy.”
“She’s not my mom,” Gears objected.
Peter smirked. “Sorry. I’m not used to addressing talking trucks. Do you mind if we ride with you?”
“I thought you guys swung on that webbing that you shot out of your wrists.”
“I can’t really do that at my age.” Peter patted his left leg, which made a metallic sound when he hit it. Gears wondered if this meant he was part machine; it wouldn’t be the first strange thing he encountered today. “Besides, we’re not in any rush. We can take our time in sorting things out.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not the one stranded in another reality,” Gears grumbled. Nonetheless, he opened his doors to allow May and Peter to climb inside his alternate mode’s interior. As he drove out of the yard, all he could do was to pray to whatever digital deity was listening that all of this would be sorted out with both his sanity and his physical body intact.
Earth (of a more familiar kind)
After reporting to Autobot City on what they had gotten from Fanzone on the man known as “Old Snake,” Bumblebee and his team had been transmitted all files and records that the Earth Defense Command had on Cobra. The terrorist organization had been a major threat throughout the early 21st century, ultimately being defeated by the time the Autobots awoke on Earth. While most of its prominent members had been either arrested or otherwise accounted for, their leader Cobra Commander—a man whose identity had never been discovered—had went missing with many assuming him to be dead. While there was nothing on him to directly support him being “Old Snake,” there was also nothing to contradict it either, which made it a lead worth investigating in Bumblebee’s eyes.
As it happened, a retired member of G.I. Joe—the E.D.C.’s spiritual predecessor who had fought Cobra during that time—happened to be living in Detroit, having since retired. Formerly operating under the codename “Stalker,” Lonzo Wilkinson had also been a member of the Adventure Team that had dealt with General Kreiger and his experiments involving the Talisman; this made him an ideal person to speak to, and he had agreed to meet with the Autobots at his home.
Lonzo sat in a chair on his front patio, rocking back and forth as Sari and the holomatter avatars of Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Prowl stood in front of him, patently awaiting his responses to their queries.
“I remember the Cobra War well,” he said, a wistful look in his eyes. “Feels weird to call it that, since back then it felt less like a war and more like… I dunno, an adventure. Maybe it was ‘cos we all wore a bunch of damn silly outfits; even Cobra dressed up like they had jumped straight out of the comic books. It was a strange time; we even had some of you robots helping us out.”
“That couldn’t have been us,” said Bumblebee. “We didn’t awaken on Earth until after all of that happened. You might be thinking of Centurion, my ‘doppelganger’ of sorts. He went by ‘Bumblebee’ as well.”
“Yeah, there was a mission where he was disguised as one of our Strikers. Good thing he did, ‘cos Cobra had some robots of their own.”
Sari frowned. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Come on, kid; don’t they still teach our adventures in the history books? Cobra had all sorts of robots, like the B.A.T.s when their Viper grunts weren’t enough.”
“Yeah, but those would have been things you guys normally dealt with. How much more would Centurion have helped matters?”
“Oh, well, because Cobra had turned one of their H.I.S.S. tanks into a giant robot; all big, gray, and scary looking.”
“I know a certain bot that would fit that description,” Bulkhead murmured, although Lonzo did not appear to have heard him.
“Let’s get back on track,” Bumblebee said. “Cobra Commander. Any idea what might have happened to him?”
“Well, he pretty much fell from grace when Serpentor showed up and kind of took the reins. A lot of times he was too busy having a power struggle with Serpentor to be really concerned with defeating us. When all was said and done, he kind of just slipped out of our fingers like the snake he was while we took in Baroness and the rest of Cobra High Command.”
“He must be Old Snake then,” said Sari, turning to the Autobots’ avatars. “Everything lines up for it to be him. I mean, who else could be responsible for giant robots with Cobra logos on them?”
Lonzo chuckled. “Yeah, it does sound pretty obvious when you say it out loud like that, doesn’t it, kid?”
Rubbing his chin (or rather, his avatar’s chin), Prowl asked, “Any idea on where we could find leads on anything Cobra related?”
“As far as I know, a few of them are still being held at Blackwater Prison here in Detroit. Maybe if you ask nicely, they’ll let you speak to one of them.”
“It’s worth a shot,” Bumblebee said. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Wilkinson.”
Lonzo raised a hand. “Don’t mention it. Any opportunity to reminisce about the good ol’ days is a good one, if you ask me.”
After leaving Wilkinson’s home, the Autobots made their way to Blackwater Prison, with Sari using her E.D.C. credentials to gain entrance into the facility, with the Autobots being forced to wait outside. Apparently, the staff didn’t feel comfortable with holographic avatars which they did not understand the science behind walking around aimlessly through one of the most secure prison facilities in the world. Sari honestly could not blame them that much.
The Cobra member being held in question was a woman known as Anastasia DeCobray, formerly known as the Baroness. By all appearances, Anastasia appeared to be living rather comfortably at Blackwater, with no cellmates and enough appliances and facilities in her cell to live a relatively comfortable life. Whether this was aided by the good looks she appeared to have kept was anyone’s guess. As Sari approached her cell, Ana lowered the book she had been reading to eye the younger woman skeptically.
“And to whom do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” the former Baroness asked, her voice thick with a European accent and dry wit.
“You are Anastasia DeCobray, correct?” Sari asked.
The Baroness narrowed her dark eyes. “Who wants to know?”
“My name is Sari Sumdac, operative of Earth Defense Command. I am investigating a person known as Old Snake and have reason to believe he is your former superior Cobra Commander.”
Baroness snorted in derision. “Please. The Cobra Commander was a witless fool whose only use was distracting our enemies long enough for us to climb the ranks. He was hardly my ‘superior.’”
Sari rolled her eyes in impatience. “Whatever. Point is, we believe he is still out and about, and I’m wondering if you have any idea on where we could possibly find him.”
“And how could I possibly know any of the sort when I’ve been spending the past few years rotting in a cell?” Baroness asked pointedly.
“’Rotting’ is hardly the word I’d use,” Sari muttered under her breath. Aloud, she said, “Are there any old abandoned Cobra bases that he could be using? Particularly those in or near Detroit?”
Baroness raised a dark eyebrow. “And why should I tell you?”
“Because it’s not like you have anything to lose at this point. Besides, if it works out and we defeat Old Snake, I might even put in a good word for you and you can get released early.”
Baroness smirked. “How much earlier than 120 years are we talking here?”
“We can discuss the specifics later. But first, I need to know if you can tell me anything; otherwise, I’m just wasting my time.”
Shaking her head, Baroness leaned back in her seat and returned to her book. “Darling, you’ve been wasting your time from the moment you walked in.”
Sari stepped forward and grabbed the bars to Baroness’ cell in frustration. Before she could fire off a retort, she noticed one of the guards begin to approach her. She quickly stepped away from the cell and raised a hand to hopefully placate him.
“It’s okay. I’m just about finished.”
The guard said nothing, his face completely stoic as he continued to approach. He reached for a baton attached to his belt and detached it; unexpectedly, it extended into a long spear which ended with a sparking, electrical tip.
Eyes widening, Sari slowly raised a hand to her head-mounted comlink. “Uh, ‘Bee? I think I’m about to have a situation.”
No response came. Dread filling her heart, she tried to hail him or any of the Autobots again only to have just as little luck. From within her cell, Baroness let out a biting laugh.
“Talk about impeccable timing.”
Before Sari had a chance to react, the guard raised his baton and released an electrical current that surged through her entire body, shorting out organic and mechanical components alike and causing her entire world to go dark.
Long ago
“Offensive systems are at 85 percent. Defensive systems at maximum efficiency level. Quantum systems are—”
“I want results, Magnificus, not numbers.”
“Numbers are results, Zardak!” the Decepticon scientist retorted. “This is the best we’ve gotten after all this time.”
“It’s still not perfect. I expect perfection from someone as talented as you purportedly are.”
“Perfection takes time. Do you have no respect for quality?”
“Enough. Slicer, what is your assessment?”
“I say he is more than ready,” opined a blue and black Decepticon.
Magnificus gave Zardak an incredulous look. “Why are you asking him? He’s not even a scientist!”
“I wasn’t asking him for a scientific assessment.” Ignoring Magnificus’ continued protests, Zardak stepped closer to the stationary Expanse, eying the blue and yellow bot up and down. The tall, black and purple leader of the Maladroids then turned around and made a motion to Magnificus.
“Prepare him for a test run.” Already predicting that the scientist was about to object, he raised a hand. “No questions asked.”
Grumbling to himself, Magnificus activated the controls at his station. Immediately, Expanse felt a rush of energy surge through him, heating up his internal systems and making him feel like he was about to explode from within. He let out an anguished cry as claws made of energy extended from his servos while his optics overheated and released laser beams into the sky. As the assembled Decepticons watched on with expressions varying from horror to glee, Zardak gave a simple nod.
“He’s ready.”
Somewhere, now
Expanse awakened to find himself in a predicament similar to the one in his memory. He was standing upright with a variety of restraints around his person while beings he did not recognize studied him. The only one he did recognize was Deadlock, who was leaning against a wall with arms folded over his chest.
Meanwhile, the horrific organic entity that was standing front and center in his line of sight was nothing at all like Zardak. While his lower half was a robotic set of spider-like legs, his upper half was a disgusting blob-like shape with spindly arms; his head blended into the rest of his body and was split into a horrifyingly wide grin full of sharp teeth, while a tiny pair of cybernetic eyes glowed above the grotesque smile. The entire assembly of organic and machine was suspended from the ceiling from a large metal appendage, moving him from one place to another. Expanse couldn’t help but feel a sensation of disgust as the creature marveled at him, tapping its spindly fingers together.
“Now if that isn’t interesting?” the creature said, its voice sounding as gross as its appearance. “A robotic mutant. I didn’t think such a thing was possible.”
“Not to sound like a comic book nerd, but it isn’t,” Deadlock piped up from where he stood. “We Cybertronians don’t have what you organics call ‘DNA,’ so we can’t carry the X-Gene or whatever you call it.”
“Obviously,” the creature growled. “But if what you told me about him is true, then he is the closest equivalent the multiverse has to such a thing. The audience will go mad over it.”
“The good kind of mad or the bad kind?”
“There is no difference from my perspective. Either one boosts up the ratings.”
Deadlock shrugged. “S’pose that’s true. Hate watching is a thing, I guess.”
The creature’s harness came to life and moved its occupant across the room, moving him towards a humanoid female with six arms. “Spiral, prepare the Green Room for our new arrival. Tell Longshot to prep the other selections as well.”
“As you wish, Master Mojo.” With a bow, the one called Spiral departed while the creature—apparently called Mojo—turned his horrific visage back to Expanse, grinning maliciously.
“I hope you’re ready to play your part, Cybertronian. It is one you will be playing for the rest of your gifted existence!”
Mojo released a terrifying laugh that filled the room as Expanse shuttered his optics, succumbing himself to his new fate.
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