TALES OF THE DISAPPEARED:
MONSTERS WE'VE BECOME
Planet Beast, Cycle 9187
“Sweet Primus, you smell repugnant.”
“Stick it up your afterburner,” the blue ogre-like robot rumbled as it waddled through the swamps of Lennonia. “Like it’s my fault it’s humid as hell on this planet.”
Rippersnapper glared at his fellow Terrorcon, baring his fangs. “Yeah, but you don’t see me smellin’ like a corpse. Even Hun-Gurrr cleans up after himself after eating a sludge troll.”
“Whatever.” Blot grunted as he hefted the chain over his shoulder, dragging the carriage full of captive natives behind him. “Just shut up and keep pulling.”
“You don’t get to order me around!” Rippersnapper protested as he pulled his carriage. “I outrank you, loser!”
“Uh-huh. What are you, again? A sentry?”
“No, that’s Sinnertwin. I’m a—”
The white Terrorcon stopped when a wheel in his carriage got caught in a rut. Snarling, Rippersnapper yanked on the chain only for it to refuse to budge. He let out a roar as he turned over to the many anthropomorphic animals bound together in the carriage, looking up at him wide-eyed in fear.
“You know,” Rippersnapper began, a cruel smile forming on his blue face, “I don’t think Scorponok’s gonna notice if a few of these critters went missing. We could tell him they fell underfoot or somethin’. Y’know, just to lighten the load.”
“Whatever,” Blot grumbled, continuing on. “Just don’t expect me to have your back when Scorps claws your head off.”
“It’ll just be a few.” Rippersnapper’s grin broadened as he drew his gun, setting his sights on a family of canines. “He won’t mind.”
“But I might.”
Rippersnapper scowled as he looked back at Blot. “What did you just say?”
“That wasn’t me.” Dropping hold of his carriage, Blot turned around and let out an alarmed yell. “Behind you!”
Rippersnapper turned back in time to see a bizarre creature emerging from the swamp, looming behind the carriage. Round green eyes gleamed wickedly as the red bug thing brandished a pair of blade-like pincers. As both Terrorcons stepped back, raising their guns, the monster’s mandibles spread open in a grin.
“Hi, there. You boys come here often?”
“The hell is that thing?” Blot muttered.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Rippersnapper whispered back. “Just shoot it when I say—”
“You guys do know I can hear you, right?” the creature said.
“Now!” Both Terrorcons unloaded their guns as the monster pounced in the air and lunged at them. With a cackle, he dove down and drove his pincers into Rippersnapper’s chest, pinning him to the ground.
“Get off him, you freak!” Blot raised his gun at the creature only to be tackled from behind by another beast jumping down from the trees. As the winged feline thing held the ogre down, it looked over to the bug-creature and saw it digging its pincers into Rippersnapper’s face.
“Repugnus! We were told not to kill them!”
“I’m not killing him,” the bug monster replied, picking at the Terrorcon’s face. “I’m just playing with him a little.”
“We don’t have time for that. We need to get these civilians back to Fort Leo.”
“Fine.” Repugnus made a derisive sound before stomping his foot on Rippersnapper’s face, knocking him into stasis lock. Grotusque did the same to Blot before transforming into his robot mode. He walked over to the captive beast natives in one of the carriages, who were staring up at him in horror.
“Nothing to fear, my friends!” Grotusque said with an uneasy smile. “Don’t let my appearance deceive you, I am not here to eat you! Although some of you do look edible enough….”
“And the others think I’m the one with a screw loose,” Repugnus muttered as he converted to his robot mode. “Where’s that two-headed freak so we can get these critters away and move on to the other two?”
As if one cue, a two-headed dragon came crashing through the foliage and into the swamp. Both heads sputtered out mud as one glared at the other.
“I told you they were here.”
“No, you didn’t. You were trying to go the other way!”
“Yeah, so that Terrorcon flier wouldn’t spot us!”
“You were flying straight at him!”
“Hey!” Repugnus snapped, storming up to the dragon. “We’re on a tight schedule here. If the ‘Cons get the rest of these animals back to their camp, then—”
“Then we call in for backup,” said Grotusque. “That’s what we were told to do in case things got out of hand.”
Repugnus gave him a dirty look. “Except that would mean we failed so we don’t get paid.”
Grotusque frowned. “Is that all you care about?”
“Of course it’s all I care about! We’re mercenaries; it’s all we should care about.”
“And just what are we supposed to spend that money on? More simultronics? Syk sticks? Unfiltered engex? Is that all our lives are now?”
“Not this again,” Repugnus growled. “Look at yourself, Grotusque. Look at all of us! We’re not handsome heres; we’re no Ultra Magnus or Optimus Prime or even a Grimlock. We’re disgusting creatures that nobody wants. Only reason the Autobots keep us around is ‘cos we do work that they’re too squeamish to do themselves.”
“You know that’s not true,” Grotusque said quietly. “Optimus doesn’t discriminate against bots for their looks.”
“Oh, sure, he might not. But you’ve seen the looks others have given us. Hell, just the other day, Highbrow wouldn’t let you play Fullstasis with him because he thought you weren’t bright enough.”
“Well, I mean, Highbrow can be a bit of a—”
But Repugnus wasn’t listening anymore, walking away from Grotusque and past the two-headed dragon.
“Take ‘em away, Doublecross. We’ve still got two more to deal with.”
One of the heads frowned as it looked at the departing Monsterbot. “Why doesn’t he ever address me?” asked Twinferno.
“’Cos of your stupid face,” said Doublecross.
“We have the same face, smart-aft.”
“Yeah, but yours is stupider.”
Grotusque ignored the bickering dragon heads as he plodded after Repugnus, his fellow Monsterbot’s words still ringing in his mind.
The Steelhaven, Cycle 9187
“I’m sorry, but that thing is just… grotesque.”
“Highbrow, when I want your opinion, I’ll rip my head off and throw it into space so I won’t have to hear it.” Brainstorm pressed the button on the holoprojector, causing the projection of a naked Nebulan to vanish. He turned back to the rest of the Steelhaven’s crew and crossed his arms, doing his best to not look salty. “Anyway, that brings us to the end of my presentation. Any questions?”
Crosshairs raised his hand. “Do we have to be naked when using these avatars?”
Brainstorm shrugged. “I mean, I don’t see why not. Why, is there something wrong with that?”
“It’s just that… those Nebulans have so much skin and hair… and they sometimes have weird protrusions growing from their crotches or chests. It just looks… nasty.”
“Can you at least put clothes on them?” asked Sureshot.
“I mean… I guess I could.” Brainstorm scratched his head. “What kind of clothes, though?”
“It doesn’t matter,” said the gray-plated captain of the Steelhaven. “I appreciate the effort you’ve put into this project, Brainstorm, but I simply do not see it as something feasible.”
“Why not? It would make relations with organics easier.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t think it would alleviate the concerns that have been raised since what went down on Planet Beast.”
“I think I know what would,” muttered Highbrow, glancing pointedly at a trio of Autobots standing in the corner of the room.
The leader of the three, Repugnus, shifted as he glared at the blue and gray Autobot. “And what would that be, smart aft?”
Highbrow responded before anyone could stop him. “To have the three of you arrested and tried before High Command for your actions back on Beast.”
“What actions?” Repugnus growled, rolling his hands into fists.
“What actions?” Highbrow mockingly echoed him. “Does ‘over a hundred civilians dead’ ring a bell?”
“It was the Terrorcons who destroyed those caravans,” Grotusque piped up defensively. “You know that. You were there.”
“You mean the caravans that you purposely left in Hun-Gurrr’s path so you could lure him? What did you think was going to happen?”
“Repugnus was supposed to spring the trap before Hun-Gurrr could reach them—”
“Oh, pinning it on me, huh?” Repugnus snapped, whirling on the other Monsterbot. “Maybe if you hadn’t taken so long to give the signal, then maybe—”
“Enough,” the captain said sharply. “This is neither the time nor the place to discuss this. Repugnus, I want to speak with you in my office in half a mega-cycle.”
Repugnus flicked a hand dismissively. “Frag off. I’m fed up with this crap. We did our job. Only reason we’re still here is ‘cos we haven’t been paid yet. Anytime you’d like to do that would be great.”
The captain narrowed his optics at the Monsterbot. “Your ‘job’ was poorly done. A hundred civilians were killed, when there were supposed to be zero.”
“Fine, dock off a few credits then. Point still stands; we did our part. How well it was done doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter when you’re an Autobot,” the captain said sternly. “Like it or not, Repugnus, you and your brothers wear our badge, and so long as you do, all three of you will be expected to abide by the Code.”
Repugnus snorted. “Well, then….” He placed a hand on his insignia — located on his right chest — and scratched it off. “So much for that.”
The captain glowered at the Monsterbot before letting out a heavy sigh. “Arrest them.”
“What?!” Repugnus exclaimed as the twins Cloudraker and Fastlane moved in on the three Monsterbots. “No! You can’t do this!”
“Says who?” the captain asked, raising an optic ridge. “I think you forget who you’re talking to here.”
“Frag you, Fortress!” Repugnus snarled, unsheathing a pair of blades. “We won’t go quietly!”
“Actually, I think you will.”
On this cue, Pointblank raised his right arm along with Crosshairs and Sureshot. Before any of the Monsterbots could react, the three Autobots fired at once and ensnared them all in energy cables, disabling their systems long enough for Cloudraker and Fastlane to fix stasis cuffs on them.
“Take them down to the brig,” Fortress ordered, meeting Repugnus’ infuriated glare with a solemn expression. “I will contact High Command and find out what we should do with them.”
“You’re going to Hell, Fortress,” Repugnus growled. “Mark my words.”
Fortress said nothing as he and the others watched the Monsterbots be hauled out of the room.
* * *
“That… could have gone better.”
“Shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”
“That’s tough, because we share the same body. If you shut down for the night, then I have to shut down for the night.”
“Exactly. That’s why I’m telling you to shut up.”
“But I don’t want to shut down for the night.”
Doublecross groaned as he flipped his head over to look at his conjoined twin. “Why did I get stuck with you?”
“Because we were born this way,” Twinferno helpfully replied.
“But why? Does Primus think this is some kind of cruel, sick joke?”
Twinferno looked back at his brother with a curious expression. “Do you believe in Primus?”
Doublecross shrugged with his side of their shared body. “I dunno. Someone’s out to get us.”
“Isn’t that Mortilus’ job? I thought he was supposed to be the god who collects sparks.”
“I honestly do not give that much of a crap.” Doublecross turned back over. “Go to sleep.”
“What do you think is going to happen to us?” Twinferno asked, ignoring his twin’s wishes.
Doublecross sighed. “We’re probably going to end up in Garrus-9. Repugnus at least will get his spark extracted. Probably same with Grotusque.”
“And not us?”
“We weren’t involved in that trap of theirs. We were still wrestling with Cutthroat when that happened.”
“That’s true.” Twinferno fell silent for a moment, and Doublecross half-hoped that he was finally getting ready to shut down. Then he spoke up again.
“They’ve been awfully quiet.”
“Who?” Doublecross grunted.
“Repugnus and Grotusque.”
“They’ve probably already shut off. Which is what we should do.”
“Wait. I hear footsteps.”
Doublecross rolled his eyes as they sat up to face the ray shield of their cell. It was difficult to make out the bot in the darkness of the brig, but they appeared to have a spindly, almost skeletal shape, with some kind of cloak flowing behind their body. Blue optics glowed as they passed the dragon’s cell before moving on to the next one.
“Uh, hello?” Twinferno called out to the mysterious bot. “Who are you?”
No answer was given. The twins heard what sounded like a ray shield being shut off as the stranger moved into a nearby cell.
“Hey!” Twinferno cried. “You’re not supposed to go in there!”
“This is freaking weird,” Doublecross muttered. “Where’s a guard when you need one?”
If there was an answer to his question, then they would never get it, for at that moment an explosion ripped through the brig and the two-headed Monsterbot found themselves being sucked out into space.
Cybertron, Cycle 9187
“How many were lost?”
“Not many. We only had seven prisoners in the brig; four of them were Decepticons, whom we quickly recaptured. The other three were the Monsterbots.”
“Repugnus and his crew?”
“Yes. We had them placed there after Repugnus had a… bit of an outburst. We were going to hold them there until we could contact you and decide on what to do with them.”
“And what happened to them?”
“We found no sign of them. I’m afraid they died in the explosion.”
“Do you know what caused it?”
“It was a stray metal object that collided into the Steelhaven. We were able to remove it and seal the breach.”
Optimus Prime leaned back in his seat, rubbing his chin. “Do you know why they acted the way they did? Both on Beast and on your ship.”
Fortress shook his head on the Autobot leader’s screen, his expression solemn. “I’m afraid not, Prime. To be honest, out of everyone on my crew, I knew them the least. I’m not sure where they came from or why their appearances are so… different from the average Cybertronian.”
“I’ll ask Prowl to see if he has any records on them, though somehow I feel that even he will be at a loss,” Optimus replied. “Is there anything else?”
“I believe that is all I have to report, commander,” said Fortress. “Though, to be quite frank with you, I feel that no one on my crew is going to miss the Monsterbots.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t think anyone on board liked them. They were found to be rude, abrasive, and all around unpleasant. Even I must admit that I grew tired of their presence. I just wish… I wish that things hadn’t proceeded the way they had.”
“I understand, captain,” Optimus said solemnly. “Losing those under your command is a terrible experience, regardless of your opinion on them. If you need some time to recuperate….”
“That won’t be necessary, Prime. We are closing in on the Semper Tyrannis and her crew. We believe they are in the Feminia system.”
“In that case, I will not keep you. Good luck, captain.”
Fortress saluted him before signing off, leaving the screen blank. Optimus Prime then rose from his seat and raised a hand to his helmet.
“Prowl? It’s me. If you are not too busy, I need you to fetch a few files from your database….”
Elsewhere, Cycle 9187
“Woo-ee.” A green arm patted the giant metal dragon laying in front of him. “This sure is a catch, wouldn’t you say, Brog?”
“Yeah, some catch,” a corpulent Nebulan grunted, puffing on a pipe. “And just what in the blazes are we supposed to do with a big lizard machine?”
“I dunno, use it for spare parts or something. Reprogram it to be a server bot.”
“Ah, there’s no room for it.” Brog spun around in his chair to squint at his navigational grid. “We’re not far from Bara-Mag. Maybe we can sell it over there.”
“Isn’t that the planet with the robot gladiators or something?” Brog’s crewmate asked.
“Yeh, they pay pretty good for new warriors.” A greedy glint entered Brog’s eye as he looked back at the offline Monsterbot. “I think we can make a profit here….”
FIN
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