CHAPTER TWO
--Elsewhere--
Being punched in the face was no fun experience. Especially when it was being done to you repeatedly. And by someone who was very good at punching. As had a lot of anger for your face.
"And this! Is just! For the heck of it!"
Getaway punctuated the last word with a blow so hard, Ratchet was sure he heard his brain module crack. He was then finally pulled away by Rung, who gave the escape artist an admonishing look.
"For the love of Primus, would you just listen to me? This isn't Pharma!"
"You might want to clean your spectacles, eyebrows," Getaway retorted, pushing Rung off of him. "That right there is definitely Pharma. One hundred percent. Right down to the deranged look in his optics. See how they're sunken?"
"That might be because you punched them in," Rung muttered. "But that's besides the point. Point is, even though he looks like Pharma -- and indeed it is his body -- he's really Ratchet stuck in--"
"Stop right there." Getaway raised his hand, cutting Rung off. "You're not seriously telling me Ratchet and Pharma switched bodies."
"He's not, I am," Ratchet said, readjusting his dislodged helmet. "When we were captured at Garrus-16, Pharma and some... serpentine Decepticon performed surgery on me and placed my spark, brain, and t-cog in Pharma's body, and vice versa."
"So the Ratchet who's been with us since we left Garrus-16 was actually...."
"Pharma, yes."
Getaway crossed his arms and shook his head. "Nope. Sorry. Not buying it."
Ratchet looked to Rung, who looked to Froid, who looked to the rest of the room, consisting of nineteen Lost Lighters (five of them unconscious) and assorted Camiens who were still reeling from being teleported to this unidentified location.
"Do we have any mnemosurgeons handy?"
Chromedome started to raise his hand, but Rewind quickly pulled it down. "No, we don't," the latter said.
"What about Sunder?" Rung said to Froid. "Is he not a--"
Froid waved his hand in dismissal. "Forget it. We'll just have to wait for your other crewmates to wake up so that they can all vouch for Ratchet. In the meantime..." He turned to Ratchet himself. "Mind telling us where you've brought us?"
"Another Titan. That's all I can tell you."
"I'm sorry, what?" Nightbeat asked, looking bewildered. "Please tell me you didn't just say what I think you just said."
"I don't blame you for being in disbelief," Ratchet said. "I felt the same way when Firestar told me about Caminus' history after I joined the Vis Vitalis' crew. While I could buy the fact the colony had been established long before Nova Prime declared it as such, I couldn't quite get behind the idea of a Titan letting his parts be used to make the colony itself.
"However, when I came across Pharma -- as me -- talking with Afterburner, I realized we had to get off Caminus as soon as possible. Luckily, I remembered Firestar telling me that Caminus' space bridge was right where the Grand Hall was."
"Yes, but how in Solus' name did you activate it?" Firestar herself asked, standing among the crowd. "It hadn't been used in... well, since Caminus was dismantled."
"I came across the control room while trying to evade Pharma and, well, everyone else. I at first thought it was Proxima's lab and was hoping she would help me with my situation."
"Sorry, Proxi-who?" Getaway asked. "And how would she have helped?"
"Um, hi everyone." A Camien in white, navy, and lavender raised her hand and waved. "I'm Proxima. Chief Science Officer of the Vis Vitalis."
"And rightfully so," Ratchet said, nodding. "I spoke with her while on the Vis Vitalis, and I have to say, she gives Perceptor a run for his money in terms of brains."
A femme standing next to Proxima gave her a nudge while Getaway remained looking unconvinced. "Okay, so you turned on the space bridge to save our hides. That sounds like a very good way of making us trust you just to dupe us later."
"Getaway, save it," Nautica said sternly. To Ratchet, she said, "You say we've been teleported to another Titan. How do you know this?"
"I vaguely recall Drift giving me scrap about the Titans and how they were all interconnected via their space bridges," Ratchet said. "Based on that, I'm assuming that's where we are."
"Well, we're definitely inside something," Nightbeat said, looking around the spacious room they were all in. The metal walls had all rusted with age and bored a cobbled-together took. Worn pistons stretched all the way to highly placed ceiling. "And that something is definitely big...."
"We should probably try exploring outside," Firestar suggested. "We're not accomplishing much standing here."
"Let's wait for Rodimus and the others to wake up first," Ratchet said. "We'll have to fill them in on what's going on."
"And stop them from strangling you," Whirl quipped.
Ratchet sighed. "Yes, that too."
"Um, excuse me." A Camien emerged from the crowd, cradling an unconscious Swerve. "Your friend is broken."
An alarmed look fell upon Ratchet's face and he instantly rushed over to take Swerve from the mech. "What happened?"
"I don't know, he just sorta... collapsed."
Ratchet frowned as he looked over the deactivated Swerve. He hadn't even realized the bartender had been in the room, having not heard the usual quip from him. This made him wonder how long Swerve had been in this condition.
"Okay," he said evenly. "Maybe we should leave this room. Try and find a place with medical equipment."
"Uh, Ratchet?" Riptide piped up, suddenly sharing a shocked look along with everyone else. "Behind you."
Ratchet looked over his shoulder. Behind him, the door had opened and a large mech filled the frame. His armor was colored in shades of orange and red, with wings adorning his shoulders and a crimson mouthplate over his face, cerulean optics glowing over it.
The newcomer assessed the room and its occupants, looking at the several dozens of bots crowding around. His eyes then fell on Ratchet, narrowing slightly.
"I look forward to hearing whatever explanation you plan on providing me regarding... this." The mech gestured at the whole room. "Truly. No joke. It's been a very long time since I've had a good laugh."
"I assure you, it's a perfectly reasonable explanation," Ratchet said. "But first, can you please direct us to a medbay? My friend here just collapsed, and we have some bots in stasis lock--"
"Do you?" the mech said tersely. "And just why should I help you?"
"Please. We mean no ill will. We honestly have no idea what this place is."
"Sure. That's what they all say." The mech stepped back outside and raised a hand to the control panel. "You all wait here. And don't even think of trying anything funny."
The door then slammed shut in Ratchet's face. Behind him, Getaway revved softly.
"This day just gets better and better."
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