OUTSIDER OF YONKERS
A Transformers / WALL-E Crossover
Timelines: AD 2805 (791 years after the main story; six months after the events of WALL-E)
PROLOGUE
--Earth, AD 2014--
Blue optical sensors carefully perused the stream of data that passed on the monitor screen. The owner of these eyes was the only one privy to the information they browsed through; some may have been away of its existence but, for their own good, did not know the details.
Pulling away from the screen, Prowl steepled his fingers. The news he had just received was far from pleasing; a Decepticon by the name of Windtrail had been detected at random intervals in time, appearing in places where he should not have been before. Despite the Autobots' best efforts, he was still up to his antics.
This called for drastic measures. Picking up his comlink, which was connected to a secret channel only he had access to, Prowl contacted the one person he knew was capable of handling the situation.
"Agent Skids, do you read me?"
Static at first. Then, a gruff "Yup."
"Are you busy?" Prowl asked.
"Um, kinda. What do you need?"
"I need you to make a Transwarp jump. To seven hundred and ninety-one years into the future."
"Okay... just let me see if this ship is capable of withstanding a Transwarp jump."
Prowl frowned. "Don't tell me you've changed ships already. The one we gave you was a state-of-the-art MagEx Crusader-class--"
"I know, I know," Skids replied. "Long story. And good news: this ship won't break apart if I make a jump."
Prowl sighed. "Whatever. We've spotted Windtrail. You know what needs to be done. And remember: watch where you step. I don't want you stepping on some insect and cause the universe to collapse unto itself."
The agent let out a bitter chuckle. "I'll do what I can."
And with that, he was no longer present in today's time.
Pulling away from the screen, Prowl steepled his fingers. The news he had just received was far from pleasing; a Decepticon by the name of Windtrail had been detected at random intervals in time, appearing in places where he should not have been before. Despite the Autobots' best efforts, he was still up to his antics.
This called for drastic measures. Picking up his comlink, which was connected to a secret channel only he had access to, Prowl contacted the one person he knew was capable of handling the situation.
"Agent Skids, do you read me?"
Static at first. Then, a gruff "Yup."
"Are you busy?" Prowl asked.
"Um, kinda. What do you need?"
"I need you to make a Transwarp jump. To seven hundred and ninety-one years into the future."
"Okay... just let me see if this ship is capable of withstanding a Transwarp jump."
Prowl frowned. "Don't tell me you've changed ships already. The one we gave you was a state-of-the-art MagEx Crusader-class--"
"I know, I know," Skids replied. "Long story. And good news: this ship won't break apart if I make a jump."
Prowl sighed. "Whatever. We've spotted Windtrail. You know what needs to be done. And remember: watch where you step. I don't want you stepping on some insect and cause the universe to collapse unto itself."
The agent let out a bitter chuckle. "I'll do what I can."
And with that, he was no longer present in today's time.
CHAPTER ONE
--Earth, AD 2805--
Treads rolled across dirt as the small garbage-collecting robot traversed the barren field. Well, it wasn't completely barren; tiny strands of green were sprouting out of the ground, indicating a burst of life where there hadn't been originally. But the robot had not come to watch plants grow.
He had come to watch a spaceship crash.
Seeing the golden ship streak across the sky reminded him of the day the love of his life arrived in a similar vessel. Of course, that ship wasn't gold and burning at the rear thruster, but it was close enough in his mind.
As he chased after the plummeting ship, he looked over his shoulder to see another robot close behind him. Sleek with glistening white plating-- a contrast to his boxy, dirt-covered yellow appearance-- she watched with similar curiosity, her blue eyes twinkling in a way that made the other robot's power core melt.
So lost was he in his loving gaze that he almost did not notice the ship's crash until the ground rumbled and a column of flame erupted in the distance....
* * *
That... could have gone better.
Skids ruefully looked upon the smoking wreckage that had been his means of transportation. For some reason, he could not recall how he had gotten to be on it, or why it was suddenly on fire, but he supposed it didn't matter anymore.
The Autobot agent took in his surroundings. He had been to Earth previously during his time travels, but in none of them did it look like a barren world with a hazy sky. There was some floral growth here and there, but it was far from the lush gardens that were normally abundant. Then there was all of the towers of trash surrounding him....
It's like I ended up on some Junkion's dream home.
As Skids prepared to search for an alternate mode to adopt, he heard a booming voice speak behind him. "Nineteen eighty-four."
He spun around and froze. Emerging from the wreckage were two giant robots, wielding swords as big as they were. They had narrow, empty slits for eyes and mouths that were merely rows of fangs. At their feet were the remains of a third robot of their model, who had suffered the worst of the crash.
"Nineteen eighty-four," the robots said again, this time in unison.
Skids smiled weakly as he waved at them. "Um, hi. Sorry about your friend... and sorry I hitched a ride on you. In fact, I don't even remember boarding you. So, yeah, this is all just a big misunderstanding."
One of the giant bots stepped forward menacingly. "Nineteen eighty-four."
He put up his hands defensively. "I'm unarmed! Come on, you wouldn't hurt an innocent, defenseless mech, would you?"
His response came in the form of a jet of flame emitting from the robot's mouth. Skids narrowly dodged it in time, dropping down and rolling up to a nearby mount of trash. Right next to it was a rusty old truck with a miniature rocket ship attached to its roof. The words "Pizza Planet" were visible but faded on its doors.
An idea sparked in his head. Tearing off the truck's hook, he put his hands into the engines and began to rearrange its wires, setting it to explode in any minute. He then turned to his adversaries with a mad grin.
"Who wants some pizza?" he said as he hurled the truck at one of the giant robots. Upon contact, both vehicle and mech exploded.
"Ha!" Skids pointed tauntingly at the remaining bot. "I just destroyed your friend with a slaggin' pizza truck! What do you say to that?"
The giant glared at him. "Nineteen eighty-four."
Skids rolled his eyes. "Figures. Guess it's time to bring out the big guns."
He sent out a mental command for his body to deploy all of his weaponry. Nothing happened. Confused, he looked over his shoulder and saw a claw of some sort attached to his back. He instantly recognized it as an inhibitor claw, used to restrain a Cybertronian's transformation and weapon systems.
"You have got to be kidding me," he muttered as his golden opponent fired another jet of flame from its mouth.
* * *
WALL-E cried as the large blue and red robot came flying at him. Moving in a white blur, EVE scooped him up in her arms and pulled him away in time just as the 'bot came crashing down. Up ahead, an even larger one in gold charged towards them, toting a massive sword.
Scrambling to his feet, the blue robot looked from the giant to WALL-E and EVE. He then pointed them to a strange device on his back.
"Claw," he said bluntly.
The two robots stared at him in bemusement; the device didn't look anything like a claw to either of them.
He sighed exasperatedly. "Just take off the stupid claw!"
Startled by the sternness in his voice, EVE moved forward and quickly removed the claw from his back. In an instant, guns furled out from his shoulders and arms. With a mad grin, he charged towards the giant.
"All right, Goldie. Let's dance!"
"Nineteen eighty-four," was all the giant said as the blue robot jumped at him, guns ablaze, and began pummeling his opponent.
WALL-E shielded his optics from the carnage that followed. He could still hear metal being torn away and oil being splattered everywhere. When the horrible sounds finally stopped, he dared to peek through his fingers.
The blue robot was standing triumphantly over what was left of the gold one. Dusting off his hands, he jumped down from the heap of metal and stored away his weaponry, though he still held a small handgun. When he began to approach the two Earth robots, EVE intercepted his path, aiming her blaster at him.
"Stop," she beeped sternly.
The blue robot held up his hands defensively. "Whoa, calm down! I just saved your lives. I even put away my weapons!"
She gestured at the gun in his hand. "No. Haven't."
He looked at the gun and seemed utterly baffled by it. "What the--? How did that get there?" He immediately dropped the weapon and disregarded it. "Okay, now I'm unarmed. You can stop pointing that thing at me."
Still wary of him, EVE folded away her blaster. Tentatively, WALL-E rolled up to the larger robot and tilted his head. "Who... are you?" he asked, utilizing his limited vocabulary.
"You can call me Skids." He knelt down and squinted his optics at the writing on WALL-E's chest. "And you must be... WALL-E."
WALL-E nodded eagerly before gesturing at EVE. "Eee-vah!"
"WALL-E and Eva." Skids chuckled. "Can't say I've ever met robots with human names, but, eh-- different cultures and what not."
EVE looked up at the mysterious robot, her skepticism replaced by curiosity. "Directive?" she hummed.
Skids scratched the back of his head. "Directive? Classified, I'm afraid."
WALL-E looked at the remains of the gold robot. "Nineteeeen--?"
Skids shook his head. "I'm as in the dark about that as you are, pal. Now then... do you have any energon? I'm starving."
WALL-E and EVE glanced at each other, befuddled. Energon?
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