The Transformers, Issue 63: Earth, Chapter Six

FALLEN HERO, PART 1

    (Long ago, during the time of the Thirteen)

    Vector Prime: Megatronus?

    Megatronus: Eh? Oh. It's you.

    Vector Prime: You know we all disapprove of this.

    Megatronus: So? You just don't see this power's potential, Vector. This substance -- Dark Energon -- is greater than you or me. Greater... than Primus.

    Vector Prime: Brother... I won't allow this! I won't allow Cybertron be corrupted by... by this!

    Megatronus: That's too bad. Because I will! (He infuses himself with the Dark Energon)

    Vector Prime: Brother, don't!

    Megatronus: It's too late! Soon, I shall rule all of Cybertron! Along with Unicron....

    Vector Prime: I won't allow this, brother!

    Megatronus: I figured you wouldn't.

    (Later, the Primes are battling an army of Terrorcons)

    Necros Prime: Stupid zombie. (He blasts one) [He's one to talk, with a name like this]

    Prima: Brothers, sisters, regroup! We can't win this battle without a sacrifice. I shall use my spark and sword to destroy Unicron. Vector, you take care of Megatronus. Alpha Trion, Omega, stay here to guard Cybertron. Solus, Nexus, head out to the shelter world. Everyone else... fight until all are one.

    (Later, we see Prima uses the Star Saber to destroy Unicron, A black hole opens and sucks in Megatronus)

    Megatronus: You shall pay, brothers! YOU SHALL PAY!

    (Years later, before the Great War)

    Optronix: Where's Tronion?

    Ironhide: Dunno, kid. Think he said he was goin' to Kaon. Dunno anythin' beyond that.

    (In Kaon, we see Tronion come across the Fallen's sarcophagus)

    The Fallen: For long... I have slumbered. For eons I have waited... for you. [That long? How did you know Tronion would even be born?]

    Tronion: M-me?

    The Fallen: Bow.

    Tronion: What?

    The Fallen: I said... bow. (he uses The Force to make Tronion bow before him) Good. Now... think: is being a hero worth it? Is having friends all you want? Is the life you have all you want? Don't you want more? Don't you want power? Fame? Glory? If so... I can give it to you. I can give you power, fame, glory... if you join me.

    Tronion: I... live to serve you.

    The Fallen: Excellent. Now rise... Megatron. Leader of the Decepticons.

    (In the present, on Cybertron, Omega Prime speaks on a screen in the medbay)

    Omega Prime: Autobots, I am sad to inform you that one of our greatest soldiers, Ironhide, has died. We shall honor him throughout our war against the Decepticons. [Hey, Carrera died too. Anyone care about him? No? Oh, right, he's not one of the '84 cast. Never mind]

    Bumblebee: Doc, I think my arm's better.

    Ratchet: Not yet, Bumblebee.

    Bumblebee: But-- (his arm falls off lol)

    Wheeljack: Er, Ratchet?

    Ratchet: Yes, Wheeljack?

    Wheeljack: We've rebuilt Glyph's faceplate.

    Ratchet: All right, come with me. (they leave, leaving Bumblebee alone with Wheelie)

    Wheelie: Friends find, look behind!

    Bumblebee: Excuse me?

    Wheelie: I smell something in the air, sitting in this chair. [farts]

    Bumblebee: What?

    Wheelie: You need not worry, your secret is safe with WHEELIE! [oh god]

    Bumblebee: What are you talking about?

    Wheelie: Why, you're in love of course!

    Bumblebee: How did you--?!

    Wheelie: Wheelie can tell by looks and faces, that you're in love (and what rhymes with faces?)

    (Bumblebee proceeds to kill himself. Rip in peace)

    (On Earth, the Fallen addresses his minions)

    The Fallen: I'm glad you three could make it. Your mission is simple. You are to retrieve as much Dark Energon on this planet at possible. No questions asked. Now go, and prepare Unicron's return!

    (The three 'Cons leave)

    The Fallen: Soundwave, set up signals for any Angolmois on this planet.

    Soundwave: As you command.

    The Fallen: Cyclonus, Scourge, you're with me. Soon... I shall finish what my apprentice started and failed to finish. And nothing can stop me! Nothing!

    (Back on Cybertron, Bumblebee is somehow still alive and is joined by a Radio Bot)

    Bumblebee: Do you know what love is?

    Radio Bot: (plays "What Is Love?" by Haddaway) [hilarious]

    (In space, Soundwave is somehow there and launches Ravage to Cybertron)

    Soundwave: Goal detected. We've found the one we need. Ravage, eject. Operation: Retrieval.

    (Ravage arrives and starts killing Autobots)

    Soundwave: (on comm) Find the small blue one -- alive. Then, once we have what we need, dispose of her.

    Ravage: As you command, master.

    (Back at the medbay)

    Wheeljack: Voila! Good as new.

    Ratchet: Uh, Wheeljack? It is new.

    Wheeljack: D'OH!

    (Glyph walks by with a face instead of a mouthplate and waves at Bumblebee, who is immediately head over heels for her)

    [I have a bad feeling about this]

    (On Earth, Optimus Minor is driving down the highway)

    Fastfix: Optimus, this is Fastfix. We've spotted Starscream!

    Optimus Minor: Starscream?

    (Suddenly, there is an explosion and Optimus Prime appears, with Megatronus, Cyclonus, and Scourge right behind him)

    Optimus Prime: Stand back, son!

    Cyclonus: You're going down, Prime!

    The Fallen: Wonderful. We have Optimus himself in our clutches.

    Optimus Prime: What do you want?

    The Fallen: There is a powerful energy source on this planet. We need to find it.

    Optimus Prime: You know I won't allow that.

    The Fallen: So misguided. All we need is that Autobot scientist to pinpoint the location

    Optimus Prime: My Autobots would rather die than help you.

    The Fallen: So? Is the future of our race not worth a single life?

    Optimus Prime: You'll never stop at one. (he goes into full ROTF Optimus mode) I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!

    To be continued

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Bumblebee, Fastfix, Glyph, Ironhide, Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Optimus Prime, Radio Bot, Ratchet, Wheelie, Wheeljack

    Decepticons: Airachnid, Cyclonus, the Fallen, Hailstorm, Lugnut, Megatron, Ravage, Scourge, Soundwave

    Thirteen: Alpha Trion, Necros Prime, Nexus Prime, Omega Prime, Prima, Solus Prime, Vector Prime 

    Others: Unicron

The Transformers, Issue 62: Earth, Chapter Five

ESCAPE OF THE NEMESIS, PART 5

    (As the Nemesis enters the solar system, Optimus Prime and Nemesis Prime continue to duel)

    Optimus Prime: I know, Nemesis, that deep down, you're still Dion.

    Nemesis Prime: Dion is no more. There is only Nemesis! 

    (We cut to a flash back, where Dion is arguing with Optronix)

    Dion: It's your fault Cop-Tur is dead!

    Optronix: Dion--

    Dion: You're just out to ruin my online career! [oh boy, wait till Drama Alert hears about this!] Goodbye! (he drives away)

    (Later, we see Dion with Straxus, who shows him what will be Nemesis Prime's body)

    Straxus: Here it is. Do not tell Megatron of this, unless I say so. Understand?

    Dion: Oh... completely.

    (In the present, while the two Primes continue to duel, Starscream comes across the Nemesis)

    Starscream: Hm. What do we have here? My, it's Megatron's old ship. (suddenly, the ship begins to transform) Agh! By the Matrix...

    Nemesis: Activating transformation process. I. Am. NEMESIS! [This won't be confusing with Nemesis Prime at all]

    (Down on Earth, the Eradicons provide Soundwave with a purple shard)

    Eradicon: We have found the source.

    Cyclonus: I thought Angolmois was green.

    Soundwave: It had the same readings and energy levels as Angolmois, yet it feels... stronger. [It's Dark Energon. Basically] It shall have to do.

    (He injects the shard into the Fallen's body, bringing him back to life)

    The Fallen: At last. If I am to rule Cybertron and beyond... I shall rule it in my greater body. [Really? You're not gonna question about suddenly coming back to life? Whatever]

    (In space, the Nemesis transforms into a giant robot)

    Nemesis: I've been here since Megatron built me. I've been made to eliminate all Autobots in case Megatron was to fail. And I shall do just that.

    (He then goes to Earth and lands in front of the Autobots)

    Nemesis: Now... you shall fall!

    (All hell breaks loose as the Autobots battle with the giant robot)

    (Back in space--)

    Optimus Prime: Dion, stop this. Forget about the past. I'm sorry Cop-Tur died.

    Nemesis Prime: He was my brother! How can I forget him? How can I forgive you?! [Y'know, it'd be helpful if we knew how Cop-Tur died] Instead, I shall kill you.

    Optimus Prime: Very well. (he unsheathes a pair of arm blades) I'll do what I must. [Oh, but Optimus, you're in space! You won't be able to use the HIGH GROUND!]

    (Back on Earth, with the Fallen and Soundwave's group)

    Cyclonus: So... what's our objective?

    The Fallen: Simple. I have a sleeping army waiting on Cybertron. They shall retrieve all of the Dark Energon here on this planet. Then, I'll use a shard to bring back a certain someone back to life to find the Matrix.

    Cyclonus: And who would that be?

    The Fallen: Why, none other than... Thunderwing. [And... how does he know who Thunderwing is?]

    (Back with the Nemesis, the Autobots get the advantage when Lightyear manages to unleash a super energy blast or whatever. They then throw detonators at him, causing him to transform and flee)

   [You know, for being the namesake of this arc, the Nemesis really isn't all it's hyped up to be....]

    (Back in space, Optimus Prime manages to incapacitate Nemesis Prime)

    Nemesis Prime: Argh! You... can't win! We shall... meet again. I promise you... this isn't over. (he then teleports away)

    Optimus Prime: I know, Dion. (he looks towards Earth) I'm coming... son. [How does he even know what's going on]

    (Back on Earth, while Turborun prepares his own super energy blast, the Nemesis sends out a signal. Just as its sent out, Turborun manages to blow him up. And that's the end of that.)

    [To be fair, this whole battle does take up quite a few pages, but it's mostly visuals with little (meaningful) dialogue, so, it's not that anti-climatic but still kind of is]

    (Meanwhile, in Axiom Nexus)

    Nova Prime: Ready?

    Necros Prime: Quite. Time to meet my brother. (they teleport away)

    (Back on Earth, Starscream laments the Nemesis' destruction while the Fallen's three minions arrive)

    The Fallen: At last. Lugnut, Hailstorm, and Airachnid. Finally, I shall conquer not just Cybertron, but the whole galaxy. And then, the universe! They shall fear my name. I am... MEGATRONUS PRIME!

    [BOOO!]

    To be continued

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Armorfist, Eveningstar, Heavypunch, Lightyear, Optimus Minor, Optimus Prime, Turborun

    Decepticons: Airachnid, Cyclonus, Eradicons, the Fallen/Megatronus Prime, Hailstorm, Lugnut, the Nemesis, Nemesis Prime, Scourge, Soundwave, Straxus

    Others: Necros Prime, Nova Prime, Starscream

The Transformers, Issue 61: Earth, Chapter Four

ESCAPE OF THE NEMESIS, PART 4

    (Cold open in space with Nemesis Prime and Starscream)

    Nemesis Prime: Soundwave, report.

    Soundwave: (on comm) Unit-791 has failed. Shall I initiate Plane Beta?

    Nemesis Prime: Yes.

    Starscream: Don't tell me you've had everything planned! 

    Nemesis Prime: When you're aiming to be better than Megatron, you have to think better. Soundwave, initiate Plane Beta.

    Soundwave: Affirmative. Eradicons: awaken.

    (Down on Earth, with the Autobots)

    Turborun: Is that it?

    Optimus Minor: I doubt it, Turborun. I doubt it. [How enlightening]

    (Meanwhile, the Eradicons -- who are basically Prime Vehicons -- encounter Megastorm and his Decepticons)

    Eradicon: Halt. Eight Decepticons detected. State your business.

    Megastorm: I am Commander Megastorm, joint leader of the remaining Decepticons.

    Eradicon: Negative. Nemesis Prime is leader of the Decepticons.

    Megastorm: Who?! [Imagine if he had said Star-Lord]

    Eradicon: Nemesis Prime is leader of the--

    (Megastorm executes the lead Eradicon, causing the other two to drive off. You sure these guys will get the job done, Nemesis?)

    Megastorm: Yes. Run you fools. For power shall soon be mine! [Okay. Wait. Wasn't Megastorm the one to order the Nemesis to be awakened... yet here Nemesis Prime is running things here... without Megastorm... knowing? Ugh, whatever]

    (On Cybertron, within Deathsaurus' ship, Bumblebee and co. are being threatened by Banzai-Tron)

    Banzai-Tron: You can't possibly beat me. I've been trained in various Cyber-Ninja arts. Allow me to demonstrate.

    (He draws his swords and attacks Carrera, who manages to block his assault)

    Banzai-Tron: Impressive. I've never seen armor resistant to alacitium blades.

    Carrera: Bumblebee, Glyph, run!

    (Banzai-Tron slices off his hand)

    Banzai-Tron: Weakling. (turns his attention to 'Bee and Glyph) And where are you two off to?

    (They drive away just as Sedan tosses a bomb into the ship, blowing up Banzai-Tron and setting off a chain of explosions to rage through the ship)

    Leozack: Sir, we've lost contact with Banzai-Tron!

    Deathsaurus: (transforms and flies away) Retreat! (to himself) No. My reputation cannot end like this!

    Leozack: (over comm) Sir, the fire's too close!

    Deathsaurus: ...I've failed you, Lord Megatron. Forgive me.

    (With that, Deathsaurus' ship explodes, consuming him and his forces. Because they're the good guys, Bumblebee and the others (save Carrera) manage to escape in time)

    (Down below, Drift and Bludgeon duel)

    Bludgeon: You can't win, fool! I am far more experienced than you! (he then notices the explosion up above) Eh? Well, it seems I'm the only one left of Deathsaurus' Decepticons. [Did he like, not send anyone else] That doesn't matter though.... [okay, fine]

    (Above Earth)

    Nemesis Prime: Now, all that's left is to find that power source.

    Starscream: Power source?! What are you babbling about?! [Starscream is like the only character with his head on straight, I feel]

    Nemesis Prime: Nothing you would understand... but if you insist... I only have one word, one name for it: Angolmois.

    Starscream: Angolmois?! Are you mad?!

    Nemesis Prime: No... just clever. (behind him, a portal opens and it's....)

    Optimus Prime: Dion... it ends here.

    Nemesis Prime: Naturally... Optronix.

    (Back on Cybertron, Bludgeon taunts Drift as he duels him)

    Bludgeon: Weak. Vulnerable. (He slices off Drift's arm) Fool. Now... prepare to die.

    Ironhide: (who's somehow not dead despite a giant hole in his chest) I don't think so. Always... double check to see... if a bot's... dead or not.

    Bludgeon: (slices off his arm) Done. (he transforms and drives off) I'm done here.

    (Later, Ratchet is checking up on Ironhide)

    Drift: Ratchet, is he gonna live?

    Ratchet: I doubt it, Drift.

    Ironhide: Hn... never did like that skull head. (Then he dies. And all Ratchet has to say is "dang")

    [cue Enya song]

    (Meanwhile, with Jazz and co.)

    Jazz: Yeah, we shot that bad boy down! [He and Blurr literally did nothing]

    Volks: Do we get any congrats?

    Tap-Out: Where's Glyph?!

    Sedan: Right behind us. (Glyph comes out with an injured Bumblebee)

    Jazz: And... Carrera?

    Sedan: Dead. [oh say can you say where the road]

    Jazz: 'Bee, what happened?

    Bumblebee: Before we escape, Banzai-Tron shot m-

    Jazz: Never mind. First Aid, get here now!

    (On Earth, Soundwave, Cyclonus, and Scourge gather)

    Soundwave: Unit 1143, report.

    Unit 1143: (over comm) We've found the source.

    Soundwave: Excellent. Extract a sample.

    Scourge: Why do we need this source anyway?

    Soundwave: It is said it can bring back the dead.

    Cyclonus: And who would we bring back?

    Soundwave: Megatron. [of course]

    Scourge: Megatron?! But I thought his time was over!

    Soundwave: I'm not speaking of the Megatron you know. I'm speaking of the original Megatron.

    Scourge: What are you talking about? There is only one Megatron!

    Soundwave: Negative. Long before our time, there was a being known as Megatron -- or rather, Megatronus. But today, he is known as the Fallen. [oh goody, it's even more stupid than I thought it was going to be]

    To be continued

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Blurr, Bumblebee, Carrera, Cliffjumper, Drift, Fastfix, Glyph, Ironhide, Jazz, Lightyear, Optimus Minor, Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Sedan, Tap-Out, Turborun

    Decepticons: Banzai-Tron, Bladespin, Bludgeon, Cyclonus, Deathsaurus, Eradicons, Irontread, Leozack, Megastorm, Nemesis Prime, Scourge, Soundwave

    Others: Megatronus' body, Starscream

The Transformers, Issue 60: Earth, Chapter Three

ESCAPE OF THE NEMESIS, PART 3

    (The Autobots are fighting generic Decepticons. As you do.)

    [I should probably say: these 'Cons are based off of robot villain characters I made way back when, their names being Four-Eyes/791, Buzzsaw, Brute, and Logic]

    Lightyear: Well, I'll be darned! Megatron still has tricks to pull even when he's dead!

    Unit-791: Fools! You can't possibly believe that you can defeat us!

    (Meanwhile, Heavypunch is tackled by a brutish Decepticon)

    "Brute": Puny Autobot!

    Heavypunch: Puny?! Why I oughta--

    (Turborun suddenly appears outta nowhere as two more 'Cons fire at him)

    "Buzzsaw": I missed.

    "Logic": You obviously misjudged your timing.

    "Buzzsaw": Oh, don't give me that-- (He gets shot in the back by Armorfist)

    (Meanwhile, in space)

    Nemesis Prime: Ah... victory brings oil tears to my optics. [Isn't that like crying blood?]

    Starscream: Enjoy it while you can, Nemesis... because it's the only one you'll get!

    Nemesis Prime: Don't make me laugh. (He slices off Starscream's gun hand) This is bad comedy. [1986 movie quote! Take a shot!]

    (On Cybertron, Deathsaurus' forces emerge from a space bridge)

    Leozack (?): Lord Deathsaurus, we have arrived.

    Deathsaurus: Excellent. Now, let us finish what Megatron started. Decepticons... let the slaughter begin! [Another quote!]

    (Later, the Autobots are fighting back. Man, Cybertron just can't take a break. First Invader Xim, now this scrap....)

    Metalhawk: This is Commander Metalhawk! The 'Cons are back! [insert "You don't say" meme here]

    Omega Prime: That's not possible! [I mean, you do just have a space bridge laying around that just about anyone can come and go through]

    Thrust: Die, Autobots!

    Jetfire: Uh, no! (He shoots Thrust's arm off)

    Ramjet: This is for Dirge! (He gets stabbed from behind by Drift and dies)

    Thrust: Autobot scum. You shall pay! (Drift slices off his head. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!)

    Flak: This is Flak to Autobase! Do you copy?

    Thunderclash: This is Thunderclash. What is it?

    Flak: We're taking a pounding! They just keep coming!

    Thunderclash: Tell me something I don't know! [Well, no wonder Cybertron's always getting attacked. Its defenders aren't very observant] 

    Thunderclash: (via radio) Blurr, Bumblebee, I need your speed! I want you to infil-- (he gets cut off by static)

    Blurr: (talking very fast) Oh great, we have to infiltrate that really bad 'Con ship out there that I didn't know was there! [SEE WHAT I MEAN?]

    Jazz: Yo, scouts! 'Bee and Blurr can't do this themselves!

    Cliffjumper: On our way!

    Jazz: All right, Cliffjumper and Tap-Out, you take down the big bozos. Volks, Carrera, and Sedan, you head in first. Bumblebee, Glyph, and Hubcap, you follow Volks and the others. Blurr, you're with me. Let's roll!

    (On Deathsaurus' ship)

    Deathsaurus: Bludgeon, take care of that ninja-bot.

    Bludgeon: With pleasure.

    (Down below)

    Cliffjumper: This shot better be worth it!

    Jazz: On my command, use your rocket packs to get up there! [Good thing Optimus Prime isn't around to demand rocket packs]

    (While Jazz counts down, Tap-Out approaches Bumblebee)

    Tap-Out: Kid? Take good care of my sister [meaning Glyph] or the doctors will spend vorns fixing your faceplate! [geez, where did this come from? Did 'Bee and Glyph have a thing beforehand that I'm forgetting? Oh, whatever]

    Jazz: GO! 

    (Back on Earth, 791 has Optimus Minor at his mercy)

    791: So long, Autobot.

    Lightyear: Not on my watch. (791 blasts him away)

    Joe: I think we should run. AHHHH! [And I'm pretty sure they're never seen again. Could be wrong]

    (Despite it just looking like all hope was lost, the other Autobots manage to dispatch the other Decepticons. Upon seeing this, 791 steps away from Optimus)

    791: We shall meet again, Autobot. This, I swear. Retreat! (They do so and I do believe they never show up again. Again, I could be wrong)

    Optimus Minor: Fastfix, go help Lightyear.

    Fastfix: On it.

    (On Cybertron, the Mini-Bots arrive at Deathsaurus' ship)

    Volks: I'm never flying again.

    Sedan: Hubcap, set up a comm signal in case of emergency. Glyph, Bumblebee, Carrera, get inside.

    (Inside the ship)

    Carrera: We're in. Stay close, you two. Remember these walls could have optics.

    (And indeed they do! Watching from afar is Banzai-Tron....)

    Glyph: 'Bee? Are you okay?

    Bumblebee: Eh?

    Glyph: I saw Tap-Out talking to you. Is everything all right?

    Bumblebee: Everything's fine. Why?

    Carrera: Get down! (All three duck as Banzai-Tron fires at them)

    Banzai-Tron: Watch your step. You may get killed. 

    (Down below)

    ???: Drift, Ironhide, Bludgeon's in your area!

    Ironhide: Inferno, don't! (Inferno stands in front of an advancing Bludgeon, in tank form)

    Inferno: C'mere, ya' Decepti-creep!

    Ironhide: Nooooo! (He leaps out in front of Inferno just as Bludgeon fires, blowing a hole in Ironhide's chest)

    Bludgeon: Fool. Such heroic nonsense. [ANOTHER QUOTE!]

    Drift: Bludgeon! You'll pay for that!

    (And we close on a shot of the two sword-wielders standing face to face....)

    To be continued

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Armorfist, Blurr, Bumblebee, Carrera, Cliffjumper, Drift, Fastfix, Flak, Glyph, Heavypunch, Hubcap, Inferno, Ironhide, Jazz, Jetfire, Kup, Lightyear, Metalhawk (voice only), Omega Prime, Optimus Minor, Sedan, Tap-Out, Thunderclash, Turborun, Volks

    Decepticons: 791, Banzai-Tron, Bludgeon, "Brute", "Buzzsaw", Deathsaurus, Leozack?, "Logic", Nemesis Prime, Ramjet, Thrust

    Humans: Bob, George, Joe

    Others: Starscream

The Transformers, Issue 59: Earth, Chapter Two

ESCAPE OF THE NEMESIS, PART 2

    (We open on a flashback with Shockwave staring at screens)

    Perceptor: Shockwave? It's past work time.

    Shockwave: I'll be done soon, Perceptor.

    Perceptor: Fine, just don't be long. [Okay, Dad! Gosh!]

    Shockwave: (thoughts) They won't understand. Honestly, I don't think I even do. But after searching galactic records... I sometime wonder... are we that different from others? (pause) Perhaps Skids' ramblings are getting to my memory banks.

    (He leaves and some mysterious voices converse about some mysterious device)

    (In the present, the humans marvel at the Axiom)

    Joe: Whoa!

    (The ramp lowers with dramatic smoke)

    Lightyear: It's in my optics! Agh! I got dust in my vocal system! *cough* Now it's clogging my audio receptors! [Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!]

    George: Uh, hi?

    Lightyear: *cough* Sorry about that. I am Autobot Lightyear, officer of Star Command and current leader of Team Axiom. This is Wastelifter, Eveningstar, and Team Asphalt.

    Joe: Uh, I'm Joe and these are my brothers Bob and George.

    Lightyear: (to Grandpa) And you are...?

    Grandpa: I'm their grandpa!

    (Awkward silence. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, Nemesis Prime drives away from the Axiom)

    Nemesis Prime: Cyclonus, make a diversion. Soundwave, Scourge, find that device. I know it's here.

    (The Decepticons then attack the Autobots, 'cos that's what they do)

    Cyclonus: For Megatron! Die, Autobots!

    Soundwave: Slugfest, Overkill, eject. Operation: Recovery.

    Nemesis Prime: Excellent.... [Shut up, you're not Palpatine. Don't even try.]

    (Meanwhile, Optimus Minor's team of Autobots arrive at Earth)

    Turborun: It's hopeless, Optimus! We won on Velocitron... but we had help!

    Fastfix: And we will this time. Apex's team is here too. [Referring to a Halloween special I never posted here because it sucked]

    Turborun: Oh.

    (Suddenly, the ship shakes!)

    Heavypunch: Whoa!

    Optimus Minor: Is it Megastorm?

    Fastfix: No... it's something else.

    Starscream: (from outside) Pathetic fools! There's no escape!

    (Starscream fires upon their ship... and is somehow powerful enough to actually do damage)

    Starscream: Ha ha ha ha! Die, pathetic scum! Die!

    ???: Starscream?

    Starscream: Eh? You!

    (Then he gets shot and Optimus Minor's ship falls towards Earth)

    Nemesis Prime: [why is he in space???] I'm surprised you had the guts to show up here, Starscream. Soon, you'll have none at all. [yeah, robots don't have guts]

    (In Axiom Nexus--)

    "ROTF Wreckloose": Deathsaurus and the rest have gone, Lord Necros.

    Necros Prime: Excellent. That only leaves two more things: those Autobots (gestures to Axiom Prime) and what's left of him (gestures to Shockwave's remains).

    "Wreckloose": Eh, just use him for parts.

    Necros Prime: Not the body, you idiot. His spark.

    "Wreckloose": You didn't kill him?

    Necros Prime: Now where's the fun in that? Oh, Vector! (Vector Prime appears -- because he can show up whenever, I guess) Two second truce. Take this to universe A113. [Oh no....]

    (So, yeah, universe A113 is WALL-E's universe and... Shockwave ends up being AUTO)

    (I really like WALL-E, in case you couldn't tell)

    (*sigh* Back on Earth--)

    Cyclonus: For Megatron! [you already said that] (clashes swords with Lightyear) Fall, Autobot! Fall!

    (Suddenly, Optimus Minor's ship just so happens to crash exactly where they're fighting. How convenient)

    (Back in space, Nemesis Prime is beating the scrap out of Starscream)

    Starscream: Agh!

    Nemesis Prime: It's ironic. Megatron built this huge army. This empire. And look now... it's falling apart. Traitors. Defeats. And so forth. *sigh* I knew this would happen.

    Starscream: Then why did you join?

    Nemesis Prime: So I could do this. (to his comm) Soundwave, is it ready?

    Soundwave: Affirmative. Activating Unit-791. Sending signal to source.

    (We see some device send out a signal to Cybertron which I guess pulls the Nemesis towards Earth... at least, that's what I think is happening)  

    Optimus Minor: I have a bad feeling about this.

    Unit-791: [I have no idea who or what this guy is supposed to be] You should. I see... with my four little eyes... lots of dead Autobots... lots of them. [ow the edge]

    To be continued [it still hurts]

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Armorfist, Axiom Prime, Eveningstar, Fastfix, Heavypunch, Lightyear, Optimus Minor, Perceptor, Turborun, Wastelifter

    Decepticons: Cyclonus, Nemesis Prime, Overkill, Shockwave, Slugfest, Soundwave, Unit-791, "Wreckloose"

    Humans: Bob, George, Grandpa, Joe

    Others: Necros Prime, Nova Prime, Starscream, Vector Prime, WALL-E

The Transformers, Issue 58: Earth, Chapter One

I've come to realize that I can only write down these old comics of mine in small doses before taking long breaks from it.
Anyway, without further ado:

ESCAPE OF THE NEMESIS, PART 1

   (We open with a flashback! The Nemesis comes into conflict with the Ark. The Decepticons invade the Autobot vessel)

    Optimus Prime: Jazz, Ironhide, secure the door!

    Jazz: Too late! (The Decepticons blast their way in)

    Megatron: Die, Autobots! [cue "Instruments of Destruction!"]

   (Autobots and Decepticons fight. Soundwave throws his minions at Jazz. How exciting.)

    Optimus Prime: Shieldfire, this is Optimus. Take your squad to the nearest planet!

    Shieldfire: We're not leaving you, Prime!

    Optimus Prime: Shieldfire... (Megatron approaches Prime from behind) That's an order.

    (Reluctantly, Shieldfire takes his team and eject from the Ark in an escape craft. They crash land on prehistoric Earth, not long before the Ark and Nemesis do so as well)

    (Four million years later, a trio of brothers and their grandfather purchase a house that just so happens to look like the crashed escape pod. Because those things make perfect houses, am I right?)

    Realtor: So, ya' guys want it?

    Grandpa: Yeah, take me money!

    (Later, the brothers are exploring their new home)

    Joe: HEY!

    Bob: What?

    Joe: How come there are 27 bedrooms and 26 are marked with letters in the alphabet? [So you can tell them apart?]

    (Suddenly, a little robot computer thing extends from one of the doors)

    Joe: A DOORBELL?!

    Computer: F.Y.I., I'm not a doorbell. 

   (Joe faints but then wakes back up and calls for Grandpa)

    Joe: Pa! Talking doorbell!

    Computer: (to Grandpa) Who are you lookin' at?

    George: What are you, then?

    Computer: Ah, excellent query. I am a TX-model voice activated (well, not really) door answer. You can call me TX-D. 

    Joe: Can you welcome us in?

    (TX-D does so and the brothers marvel at the advanced alien technology inside. Among them is a "hi-tech box" which turns out to be WALL-E. Because that's a thing.)

    (Anyway, meanwhile, in Axiom Nexus -- remember that? -- Necros Prime is fighting Shockwave and blasts off his arm)

    Necros Prime: You want power? Here's a whole world of it!

    (And I guess he blows up Shockwave)

    Terradive: Lord Shockwave! (Necros punches him and stands over him, hands crackling with electricity) No... have... mercy. (Necros shows none and kills Terradive)

    Necros Prime: Now... to deal with those Auto-- (he realizes they're all gone) --bots.

    (Elsewhere, Lightyear and his team of Autobots come across the Axiom, which was thought destroyed for some reason. They take it and use a portal to get out of Axiom Nexus. However, unbeknownst to them, Nemesis Prime latches onto the ship)

    Nemesis Prime: Bingo. Optimus Prime... your doom awaits!

    Soundwave: (over comm) Nemesis?

    Nemesis Prime: Ah, Soundwave. Are you, Cyclonus, and Scourge ready?

    Soundwave: Affirmative.

    Nemesis Prime: Excellent. Now... let us avenge Lord Megatron.

   (Elsewhere, back with the rest of the Decepticons)

    Deathsaurus: Leozack, where is Nemesis Prime?

    Leozack: I don't know, sir. He just vanished, along with Soundwave, Cyclonus, and Scourge. He could be anywhere.

    (In the next scene, we see the Axiom emerge from the portal and arrive at Earth)

    Wastelifter: Earth?

    Lightyear: Yes. I've heard a crew of Autobots might be here.

    Wasterlifter: REALLY?!

    Lightyear: Or Velocitron. Or Animatron. Or--

    Wastelifter: Friends! [Ah, everyone's favorite sitcom!]

    Lightyear: You're not listening, are you?

    (Back with Joe and co.)

    Joe: Pa!

    Grandpa: What now?!

    Joe: (points to WALL-E) Who's writing this comic?! [HA HA! SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOR!]

    George: Holy poop. (Outside, the Axiom enters the sky) Wow. 

    (Meanwhile, once again, with Megastorm and his crew of Decepticons)

    Irontread: Megastorm! We've tracked the Autobots ship. But...

    Bladespin: There's two of them. What do we do?

    Megastorm: Apparently, I underestimated these Autobots. I believe this calls for drastic measures...awaken... the NEMESIS!

    To be continued

   [Oh, boy, this is going to be a fun one]

FEATURED CHARACTERS

    Autobots: Eveningstar, Ironhide, Jazz, Lightyear, Optimus Prime, Shieldfire, Wastelifter

    Decepticons: Bladespin, Cyclonus, Deathsaurus, Irontread, Laserbeak, Leozack, Megastorm, Megatron, Nemesis Prime, Ravage, Scourge, Shockwave, Soundwave, Starscream, Terradive

   Humans: Bob, George, Grandpa, Joe

   Others: Necros Prime, Nova Prime, TX-D, WALL-E

Transformers Regenerated: Lost Light VIII, Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

--250 years ago--

    This was a plan that just wasn't going to work.

    He looked all around himself, feasting his optics on the horrors that surrounded him. Mechs and femmes being led into a smoking room. Metal cubes that may have once been alive being thrown into a furnace. The sounds of screaming accompanied by sickening grinding sounds....

    "Name?"

    Snapped back to reality, Skids looked up to see what was happening before him. A fellow Autobot captive was standing in front of him before an untidy desk. A maroon and brown Decepticon sat behind that desk, his smile very out of place with his surroundings.

    "I said 'name?'" the Decepticon repeated.

    The gold-plated Autobot glared at him with his cerulean blue optics, the only features on his otherwise plain faceplate. "Rev-Tone," he grumbled under his breath.

    "Rev-Tone of...?"

    "Rev-Tone of Upyours, Decepticreep."

    "Never heard of it," the Decepticon said, still smiling his insultingly pleasant grin. He then reached behind his desk and produced a small disk-like shape.

    Rev-Tone stared at the object in confusion. "What is that?"

    "A mouth flower. We attach it to the roof of your mouth and sync it to your t-cog. So if you try to transform...." The Decepticon pressed a button and a long drill extended up from the disk. "It'll be the last thin you do."

    "Yeah?" Rev-Tone replied. "And what if you don't have a mouth? What then?"

    Another Decepticon came up behind Rev-Tone and pushed him down to the desk. The mech behind it held his grin as he brought out a drilling tool.

    "We improvise."

    Skids looked away as Rev-Tone screamed. Once the drilling had stopped, along with the screams, Skids risked a glance to see the Decepticon inserting the mouth-flower into the newly-made opening in Rev-Tone's faceplate.

    "Welcome to Grindcore, Rev-Tone of Upyours. I hope you enjoy your stay."

    While the prisoner was carried off to his cell, the Decepticon looked at Skids as the latter was pushed forward and smiled.

    "Name?"

--Present--

    "You sure you don't want to come with us?"

    "Can't, Nightbeat," Skids said, standing in the hangar bay as he saw off the fifteen bots headed for the Necrobot's planet, following coordinates provided by an Autobot plant. "Rung wants me to stay here so he can nurse me back to proper functioning."

    "That little encounter with Sunder did a number on you, did it?" Nightbeat asked.

    Skids nodded, looking forlorn. "Yeah, it did. Mentally, at least. And physically, too; he was a big one, for sure." 

    The theoretician fell silent for a moment as he watched the others board Ultra Trion's ship. Following Chromedome, Rewind, and Swerve up the ramp was Nautica, was stopped to glance at Skids before being nudged forward by an impatient Riptide. Skids then looked back at Nightbeat, who was wearing a knowing smirk.

    "What?" Skids asked, confused.

    The detective shook his head. "Nothing. I hope you get well soon, Skids."

    "Wait." Skids grabbed Nightbeat by the shoulder, lowering his voice to a whisper. "There's something else I wanted to tell you. Well, less tell and more show you...."

    "What's up, Skids?" Nightbeat asked.

    Checking to make sure no one else was watching, Skids reached behind his back and brought out a yellow briefcase. The detective nearly gasped in shock.

    "Where did you...?"

    "I found it on Earth -- Future Earth -- when we dropped off WALL-E. My guess is that this is what brought him to the Lost Light."

    "And Rodimus doesn't...?"

    "No. No one knows about this besides you and me."

    Nightbeat looked at him skeptically. "So why are you giving it to me?"

    Skids sighed, almost ashamedly. "Because it's been tempting me lately -- even more so now since Sunder brought my repressed memories forth. The things I can remember now... I want nothing more than to change it all. So I figure it would be better if it stayed in the hands of someone less... impulsive."

    Nightbeat regarded the briefcase for a moment before taking it. "I wouldn't exactly say I wasn't impulsive... but I get your meaning. I'll see if I can get rid of it once we're there."

    "Thanks. I would have done so here, but after the Sunder thing, I think these Carcerians want to keep an even more watchful eye on us."

    "Can't really blame them." After putting the briefcase away, Nightbeat turned towards the ship, waving back at Skids. "So long. I hope you don't get into too much trouble while we're gone."

    Skids chuckled. "Ah, you know me, Nightbeat; trouble has its way of finding me no matter what I do."

*  *  *

    "This is a setback."

    "How remarkably perceptive of you," Elitus said snidely, her feet on the conference table as she leaned back in her seat. Sentinel Major sat across from her while Magmatron stood at the window, staring at the field of stars outside.

    The large beast-former sighed, his shoulders moving up and then down as he did. "Without the Enigma of Combination, we no longer have a device to fall back on in case things on Eukaris go south for us. Unless we somehow recover -- or even find a better tool -- then I am no longer confident in undertaking this endeavor."

    "You seemed driven enough even before we found the Enigma," Sentinel said.

    "Yes, but that was a long time ago, old friend. The treachery before my downfall was still fresh in my mind. I was being fueled purely by revenge."

    "And now?"

    Magmatron said nothing. Outside the window, the ship carrying Ultra Trion and fourteen others flew out of the hangar, headed for wherever the Necrobot was located. Once it had jumped to lightspeed, Elitus tutted.

    "On the bright side, at least we won't have him around."

    Sentinel raised an optic at her. "You've never like him, have you?"

    "He's too nice for his own good. Too soft. Too... Autobot-like." She grinned slyly at him. "No offense."

    Sentinel's optics narrowed. "As I understand it, you were once an Autobot yourself."

    "I was, yes. But do you hear that? It's called the past tense, Sentinel, my dear. It's used for a reason."

    Sentinel rolled his eyes before turning towards Magmatron who still stood in silence.

    "So what do we do now? If we're no longer headed for Eukaris, then where to? We only have enough fuel for one jump...."

    Magmatron slowly turned on his heel to face the other two Covenant members, a lost look in his green optics. For a moment, he said nothing, staring silently in Sentinel's direction but not directly at him. Then, without warning, he started to head out of the meeting room.

    "Where are you going?" a bemused Sentinel asked.

    "To my quarters," Magmatron responded curtly. "I will be back shortly. In the meantime... don't tell anyone of what's happened. If anyone asks, just tell them that Carcer is not yet ready for the jump. If they get to nosy, then have Strika or Obsidian handle them."

    With that, he went out the doorway and disappeared around the corner, leaving Sentinel and Elitus alone in the room. Removing her feet from the table, Elitus got to her feet and headed out as well.

    "A strange one, isn't he?"

    "He's just overwhelmed by all this happening just before our next move," Sentinel said. "Anyone would be frustrated by such a setback."

    "Perhaps," Elitus murmured. Stopping just at the doorway, she looked over her shoulder at the orange mech. "Although it's awfully coincidental that this all happened as soon as our 'guests' showed up."

    Sentinel did not reply, not meeting her eye.

    "Just food for thought," Elitus said before exiting, leaving the would-be Prime to himself.

Transformers Regenerated: Lost Light VIII, Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

--Outpost Three--

    "Mother's not gonna be happy."

    Fractyl kept his eyes on the space bridge, not so much as glancing at the bot standing next to him. "He will come," the green jet said assuredly. "Trust me."

    "I do, but...." The large gray and blue Decepticon shifted slightly. "It's been half an hour since Obsidian radioed us. Skyfall should have been here at least twenty minutes ago."

    "Maybe they're just experiencing delays. Maybe something's holding him up."

    "Or maybe he's just not coming." Offroad placed a hand on the other Decepticon's shoulder. "Look, I understand you don't want to bring this to Mother. No one wants to deliver any sort of bad news to her. But if you want me to bring this to her, I'd be happy to--"

    "No." Fractyl sighed as he dipped his head, shoulders sagging. "I was the one assigned to the space bridge. I should be the one to report to her. You have nothing to do with this."

    Offroad shrugged. "Okay. Your choice. Just know that I offered my spark for yours; that ain't something I do lightly."

    "I know." Fractyl turned to the other mech and gave a weak smile. "Thank you for the gesture all the same."

    "Ah, don't mention it." Offroad paused briefly to reflect on his words. A sheepish look then colored his yellow face. "Er, let me rephrase that...."

    "No. It's okay." Fractyl turned to head back for the base, which laid several miles ahead on the horizon. After gazing into the distance for a moment, he looked to Offroad one last time. "Wish me luck."

    "I don't think it'll do any good, but sure thing." Offroad gave him a mock salute. "Nice knowin' ya, pal."

    Nodding curtly, Fractyl then morphed into his jet mode and shot off towards the base.

*  *  *

    "...And that's the situation so far. As far as I know, I'm the only living thing here. Everyone else is either dead or has run off."

    Onslaught did not move from his current stance, keeping his arms folded as he stared at the dark green mech on the viewscreen. His visor and faceplate made his expression difficult to read, which only made Oil Slick more visibly uncomfortable.

    After a moment, the Combaticon leader finally spoke, keeping his tone neutral. "What of the clones?"

    Oil Slick coughed, looking hesitant to answer. "Ah, them. Well, shortly before the Wreckers attacked, Vivisector placed six of them on his ship, which was then stolen by one of our own and taken to spark knows where. The seventh, which Vivisector hadn't yet placed on board, somehow freed himself and took Magnificus and the Wreckers with him."

    "Are there any other clones on the station?"

    "No, but we do have a large number of spare protoforms. As far as I know, they were not damaged by the Troobian conflict or the Wreckers' attack."

    Onslaught nodded. "Very well. We shall send a crew to retrieve you and the protoforms. I will debrief you in full once you arrive."

    "Uh, great," Oil Slick murmured. "I look forward to it."

    With that, Onslaught switched off the viewscreen and turned to leave his station. In a way, he could almost relate to Oil Slick, in that they both feared repercussions from their superiors. Onslaught had served under a number of Decepticon warlords in his life: Trannis, Megatron, Deathsaurus... but none of them compared to Mother. Not necessarily in terms of her ruthlessness, but in regards to how she executed it. With someone like Megatron, one could predict how they would react upon being given bad news.

    Not so with Mother. Mother was never predictable.

    As leader of the Combaticons, Onslaught would like to think someone of his rank would be spared from any punishment that entailed death; that his strategic mind was far too valuable to waste. 

    But then he remembers what happened to the last general to fail Mother and he realizes just how foolish he is.

*  *  *

    The command center of Outpost Three -- commonly known as Mother's Room -- was plunged in almost complete darkness, all save for the array of monitors that surrounded Mother herself. Each screen showed every corner of every room; wall to wall, ceiling to floor. Nothing escaped Mother's notice. She saw and heard everything.

    Unless it was here in this room.

    It made sense to an extent. Since Mother already had her optics on the corridor leading to the command center, why would she even need to worry about intruders when she could have them dealt with before they were even inside? There was no need to exert any more caution than necessary.

    Then again, she had probably never dealt with the Autobot Secret Service before.

    The mech known simply as Unit-3 watched from the shadows as two Decepticons entered the command center. The tallest of the pair, clad in dark blue and olive green armor plating, his sensors identified as the Combaticon leader Onslaught. The other, a winged mech colored in greens and browns, was a scientist known as Fractyl.

    They came to a stop before the apparatus to which Mother was connected. Stepping forward with his arms behind his back, Onslaught said, "Mother, I... we have bad news to deliver."

    There was a moment of silence. At first Unit-3 thought Onslaught was waiting for a response, but then the Combaticon leader spoke again, continuing as if he had already received one.

    "Outpost Two has contacted us. Magnificus has been captured by the Wreckers and seven clones have been lost -- one of them currently in the Wreckers' possession."

    Silence again. Then Fractyl stepped up, an action Unit-3 found strange since Mother had not prompted him.

    "General Obsidian's agent has not yet arrived with the Enigma of Combination, and I fear that they never will. Unless we try getting a hold of him and risk blowing his--"

    The flier stopped talking as if he had been cut off, but Unit-3 heard no one else speak. Onslaught then took a step forward as well, splaying his hands.

    "Mother, are you sure that is wise? Without the Enigma, I don't see how we can--" The Combaticon paused, before slowly nodding. "Yes, I am aware of that, but at the rate our engineers are working, we'll be in the next millennium by the time--"

    Onslaught fell silent as both he and Fractyl adopted shocked expressions.

    "I... with all due respect, Mother, you can't be serious," the latter said. "The gestalt is much too unstable to unleash. It could put all our plans at risk."

    "He has a point," Onslaught said. "The Mastermind was quite insistent that we kept our operations as covert as possible. Releasing Monstructor would be counterproductive."

    Silence again. Fractyl let out a disgruntled sigh while Onslaught bowed his head.

    "No, I understand. I... we shall do as you command, Mother. By your will."

    With that, the Combaticon leader pivoted and exited the chamber with Fractyl close behind. Unit-3 did everything he could to not utter a sound as he compiled everything he had overheard into a single file and transmitted it to headquarters.

    Over six months of surveillance had finally paid of... only now, he wish it hadn't.

ALL THAT GLITTERS

Part III: Darkness, My Old Friend