CHAPTER SIX
--Luna 1--
Soon after landing on the moon, Ultra Magnus was taken by a squad of drones to Boltax's tower. Once there, he was relieved to find that Boltax had kept to his word: waiting for him in the main chamber were Rodimus, Drift, and their respective teams, all alive and well.
Boltax himself was hovering over them in the center of the chamber, suspended by a mess of wires. His body was encased in thick armor plating and his arms dangled freely from the sides. Floating next to him was a Diagnostic Drone, who seemed to be keeping constant vigilance of the guests. As he entered the room, Magnus could have sworn he heard humming, but it stopped as soon as the High Circuitmaster noticed him.
Pulling himself down from the ceiling, Boltax stared down at Magnus. "Now then... it would appear you all need to be reeducated. Tell me, what happened two thousand years ago?"
"The First Great War ended with Autobot victory at the Battle of Iacon and the signing of the Tyrest Accord," Rodimus said. "And this is from someone who doesn't care much for history."
"There's no such thing as the Tyrest Accord," Boltax snapped. "Both factions lost when Sentinel Prime and Trannis were consumed by a mysterious explosion, and when the Decepticons fled, the Functionists immediately took charge and gradually pushed the High Council out of power."
"Yeah, that's not what happened," Nightbeat said, finding a conspicuously-placed stack of cubes to sit on. "If you want, Rewind can provide you with a complete record of what happened after the war in 11.3 seconds. Can't you, little buddy?"
"I'm probably not the right person to ask at the moment," the archivist muttered, rubbing his head. "But I do have a spare data slug you can view."
Ejecting the data slug from his arm, he handed it to the Diagnostic Drone, who then gave it to Boltax. The High Circuitmaster proceeded to insert it into his processor. No more than twelve seconds later, he took it right out.
"Impossible," he murmured. "None of that is remotely close to what happened. The Takeover, the Dark Dawn... none of that was mentioned on your data slug."
"Because for us, it never happened," Magnus said. "And I know why."
Rodimus beckoned sardonically with his hand. "The floor is yours."
Magnus proceeded to tell them all about Brainstorm's time machine and Que's theory about alternate timelines. When he was finished, everyone was staring at him in utter disbelief-- save for Perceptor.
"That is all very plausible," the scientist said. "Brainstorm must have gone back in time to kill Sentinel Prime and this future is what may happen if we don't stop him in time."
"Wouldn't he have had plenty of time already?" Chromedome asked. "I mean, why haven't we all disappeared yet?"
"It's clear that the divergence between the two timelines is at the Battle of Iacon, two thousand years ago. It is very likely that his time machine does not have enough power to jump through that much time in one go. He has to make multiple, smaller jumps at a time."
"And I should believe any of this... why?" Boltax asked.
"You don't have to, really," Rodimus said. "You can just let us all go now and forget we ever met."
Nightbeat smirked. "Actually, Rodimus, it might be difficult for him to completely forget us."
"Come again?"
"We've already met Boltax before, long before we even arrived on Luna 1."
"What are you talking about?"
The detective got down from the stack of cubes and began pacing back and forth. "Ever since we got here, Boltax has been humming to himself. At first I thought it was just a generic little tune, until I realized I've heard it before-- specifically from Ratchet after he got back from Bluestreak's movie night."
"And what tune was that?" Skids asked.
"I'll get to that in a moment. The next thing I noticed was the stack of cubes I was sitting on. At first glance they appear to be made of steel, but upon closer inspection, I realized that they were actually made of garbage."
Magnus sniffed. "I thought my olfactory sensors were picking up something...."
"The third thing to catch my interest was that, when we were first brought in here, Boltax's optics fizzled like crazy when he saw WALL-E." Nightbeat's grin broadened. "I could just hear his processor whirring as he tried to make sense of the ontological quandary."
"Onto-what now?" Rodimus said.
"How was it ontological?" Nautica asked.
"Because for all intents and purposes, it should not be possible for WALL-E and Boltax to be in the same room and, more importantly, at the same time."
"Why not?" Drift asked.
Nightbeat turned to Ratchet. "Hey, doc. Sing that little tune I mentioned. You know the one I'm talking about."
The medic crossed his arms. "I'd rather not."
"Come on. This is important. Just the first few verses."
Ratchet sighed and gritted his teeth. "Out. There. There's. A. World--"
"Say it like you mean it."
Rolling his eyes, the medic broke out into song, though he said the lyrics in a rapidly fast manner. "Put on your Sunday clothes / There's lots of world out there / Get out the--"
"STOP IT!" Boltax bellowed, clutching his head. "Stop! I've heard enough!"
"I haven't!" Swerve said. "C'mon, doc, sing another few--"
"NO!" Boltax swept down from the ceiling and grabbed Nightbeat by the neck. "You're lucky I don't kill you! You're lucky I don't kill all of you!"
"That's enough." Ultra Magnus seized Boltax from behind and wrestled him off of the detective. "Care to explain yourself?"
The High Circuitmaster started to shake, his optics fizzling. "I lost everything. I thought I had it all, but... it was... only for a moment...."
"Take it easy," Rodimus said, reaching out in a reassuring gesture. "Mind telling us what happened?"
Boltax lowered his gaze to WALL-E, who had been cowering behind Skids' leg ever since they were brought into the chamber. "My life... is much the same as his. Almost exactly, up until a point. I lived in isolation for nearly seven hundred years, with only a mere insect for company. Then, one day, she arrived...."
"EVE," Skids murmured.
Boltax nodded. "I know now why the humans named her that. She was like an angel sent down from the heavens. A reward for... all of my hard work."
"What happened to her?"
Boltax glanced again at WALL-E before saying, "A mere week after we brought the humans back to Earth... the Functionists came. They had just exchanged Luna 2 for the planet with the Black Box Consortia and were bent on cleansing worlds with a mix of organic and mechanical life. Deeming us robots as more useful than the humans, they made short work of the latter and brought the robots under their service; they even reactivated my fallen brothers.
"The Functionists took my EVE, thought not before she helped me onto an escape craft from the Axiom. I wandered the stars for who knows how long, until I ended up here. It wasn't long after that when I met Boltax-- the original Boltax."
"What was he doing here?" Rodimus asked.
"He had fled Cybertron seven centuries prior, after the Functionists outlawed the intellectual class. When I found him, he was dying, but saw me as a worthy prospect. As a result, in order to prolong his life, he merged our consciousnesses together, which is how I-- the current me-- came into being."
"And the drones?" Drift said. "What's the deal with them?"
"The original Boltax had created them from abandoned factories here on Luna 1. He assembled an armada in case the Functionists ever found him--"
"Which they have."
Everyone jumped at the sound of the voice; it sounded cold, merciless, and-- to at least two of them-- very familiar.
"You didn't tell us this place was haunted!" Swerve exclaimed.
"It's not," Boltax said, suddenly quiet. "We have company."
"That you do." A small, white shape emerged from the shadows, blue optics glaring from a black screen-face.
Both Boltax and WALL-E stared in astonishment. "Ee-vah?!"
"My proper designation is EVE, though I suppose it won't matter in the end." A blaster deployed from the probe unit's right arm. "Your deaths have already been decided upon."
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